Dɛn Nti na Ɔdɔ Sa?

“Ɛyɛ mmerɛw sɛ yebenya obi ho dɔ sen sɛ yɛbɛma saa ɔdɔ no atra hɔ.”—ƆBENFO KAREN KAYSER.

EBIA ɛnyɛ nwonwa sɛ aware a ɔdɔ nnim redɔɔso. Aware yɛ nnipa ntam abusuabɔ a emu dɔ, na nnipa pii de wɔn ho hyɛ mu a wɔnyɛɛ ahoboa kɛse biara. Oduruyɛfo Dean S. Edell ka sɛ: “Sɛ yɛrekogye karka tumi krataa a, wɔhwehwɛ sɛ yɛda ahokokwaw bi adi, nanso yebetumi de yɛn din ahyɛ krataa ase de anya aware tumi krataa.”

Enti, bere a aware pii sɔ na anigye ankasa wom no, dodow bi yɛ nea ɔhaw wom. Ebia awarefo no biako anaa wɔn baanu nyinaa de akwanhwɛ a ɛkorɔn na ɛkɔɔ aware no, nanso wonni ahokokwaw a ehia a ɛbɛma abusuabɔ no atra hɔ akyɛ. Ɔbenfo Harry Reis kyerɛkyerɛ mu sɛ: “Sɛ nnipa fi ase bɔ denneennen a, wonya wɔn ho mu ahotoso a emu yɛ den.” Wɔte nka te sɛ nea wɔn hokafo no “nkutoo ne obi a ɔwɔ asase so a wɔne n’adwene hyia wɔ biribiara ho. Ɛtɔ da a, saa nkate no ano brɛ ase, na sɛ ɛba saa a, etumi ma aware no sɛe kɛse”

Anigyesɛm ne sɛ, aware pii nyɛ saa. Nanso, momma yensusuw nneɛma a ɛtɔ mmere bi a etumi ma ɔdɔ sa no kakraa bi ho nhwɛ.

Abasamtu—“Ɛnyɛ Eyi na Mehwɛɛ Kwan”

Rose ka sɛ: “Bere a mewaree Jim no, na misusuw sɛ yɛbɛyɛ sɛ Abɔfo—a yebenya ɔdɔ ama yɛn ho akorɔkorɔ yɛn ho yɛn ho na obiara asusuw ne yɔnko ho.” Nanso, bere bi akyi no, nea na Rose bu no ‘ɔhene ba’ no ho fonoo no. Ɔka sɛ: “Nea ekowiei ne sɛ ne ho bɛfonoo me koraa.”

Sini, nhoma, ne nnwom, a agye din ka ɔdɔ ho asɛm a ɛnyɛ nokware. Sɛ ɔbarima ne ɔbea reyɛ nhyehyɛe aware a, ebia wɔbɛte nka sɛ wɔadi wɔn haw nyinaa ho dwuma awie; nanso wɔ aware no akyi mfe kakraa bi no, wogye tom sɛ na wɔreso dae ankasa! Sɛ wɔanhu ɔdɔ a wɔakenkan ho asɛm wɔ nhoma mu no a, etumi ma aware no gyigya koraa.

Nokwarem no, nneɛma a wɔhwɛ kwan wɔ aware mu no bi fata ankasa. Sɛ nhwɛso no, ɛfata sɛ obi bɛhwɛ kwan sɛ ne hokafo bɛdɔ no, anya bere ama no, ayɛ no mmoa. Nanso, ebetumi aba sɛ ne nsa renka nneɛma a ɛte saa no mpo. Meena, a waware foforo wɔ India no, ka sɛ: “Mete nka sɛ nea menwaree koraa. Mihu sɛ mayɛ ankonam na wobu ani gu me so.”

Fata a Wɔmfata Wɔn Ho—“Yɛmfata Yɛn Ho Koraa”

Ɔbea bi ka sɛ: “Ɛkame ayɛ sɛ me ne me kunu adwene nhyia wɔ biribiara ho. Da koro mpo ntwam a minnu me ho sɛ mewaree no. Yɛmfata yɛn ho koraa.”

Mpɛn pii no, ɛnkyɛ koraa na awarefo atumi ahu sɛ wɔmfata wɔn ho sɛnea na wosusuw sɛ wɔte bere a na wɔreyɛ nhyehyɛe aware no. Ɔbenfo Nina S. Fields kyerɛw sɛ: “Mpɛn pii no, aware mu na su horow a na awarefo no ankasa nnim bere a na wodi sigya no da adi.”

Ne saa nti, wɔ aware akyi no, awarefo bi tumi ka sɛ wɔmfata wɔn ho koraa. Oduruyɛfo Aaron T. Beck ka sɛ: “Ɛmfa ho sɛ nnipa pii ani tumi gye nneɛma bi ho na wɔn su horow bi hyia no, nnipa dodow no ara ware a wɔn su ne wɔn nneyɛe da nsow koraa.” Awarefo pii nnim sɛnea wobedi wɔn ntam nsonsonoe no ho dwuma.

Ntawntawdi—“Yegye Akyinnye Bere Nyinaa”

Bere a Cindy redwen sɛnea na wɔn aware te mfiase no ho no, ɔka sɛ: “Yɛnte nea enti a yɛko mpɛn pii—na yɛkeka mu, ne nea enye koraa no, yɛn mu biara nkasa ne yɔnko ho—no ase koraa.”

Wontwiwontwi mpa aware mu. Nanso, ɔkwan bɛn na wɔfa so siesie? Ɔbenfo Daniel Goleman kyerɛw sɛ: “Wɔ aware pa mu no, okunu ne ɔyere nyinaa fi wɔn pɛ mu ka nea ɛhaw wɔn. Nanso mpɛn pii no, sɛ wɔn bo fuw a, wɔkasa tia wɔn ho wɔn ho, na wonunu wɔn ho wɔn ho.”

Sɛ ɛkɔba saa a, nkɔmmɔbɔ nyɛ biribi a wɔnam so di nkitaho bio, na mmom ɛbɛdan ntɔkwaw ne atɛnnidi. Animdefo kuw bi ka sɛ: “Ade biako a enye koraa wɔ akyinnyegye a wontumi nni so ho ne sɛ ɛma awarefo no keka nsɛm a ebetumi agu wɔn aware no kyerɛ wɔn ho.”

Anibiannaso—“Yɛapa Abaw”

Ɔbea bi a na ɔde mfe anum aware kae sɛ: “Minni ɔpɛ bio sɛ mɛbɔ mmɔden de ama yɛn aware no agyina. Minim sɛ afei de mmɔden biara a mɛbɔ no renyɛ yiye. Enti yɛn mma no nkutoo na wɔn ho hia me.”

Wɔka sɛ ɔdɔ abirabɔ ankasa ne anibiannaso, na ɛnyɛ ɔtan. Nokwarem no, anibiannaso betumi asɛe aware te sɛ ɔtan ara.

Nanso, awerɛhosɛm ne sɛ, awarefo binom pene wɔn aware a agyigya no so saa ara na wonnya anidaso sɛ nneɛma bɛsesa. Sɛ nhwɛso no, okunu bi kae sɛ mfe 23 a ɔde aware no te sɛ “nea obi reyɛ adwuma a ɔmpɛ.” Ɔde kaa ho sɛ: “Wo de, yɛ nea wubetumi biara wɔ tebea no ho.” Saa ara na ɔyere bi a wɔfrɛ no Wendy ahwere ne kunu a ɔne no aware mfe ason no mu ahotoso. Ɔka sɛ: “Mebɔɔ mmɔden biara, nanso ankosi hwee. Ɛmaa minyaa adwenemhaw. Mempɛ sɛ mɛbɔ mmɔden bio sɛnea ɛbɛyɛ a tebea no bɛyɛ yiye. Sɛ mehwɛ kwan sɛ biribi pa bɛba a, haw na mɛhaw me ho. Menhwɛ kwan sɛ nneɛma bɛyɛ yiye—m’ani rennye de, nanso minnya adwenemhaw.”

Abasamtu, fata a wɔmfata wɔn ho, ntawntawdi, ne anibiannaso yɛ nneɛma a ebetumi ama aware agyigya no bi. Nneɛma pii nso wɔ hɔ—wɔaka emu kakraa bi ho asɛm wɔ adaka a ɛwɔ kratafa 5 no mu. Ɛmfa ho nea ɛde ɔhaw no ba biara no, so anidaso wɔ hɔ ma awarefo a ɛte sɛ nea wɔde wɔn ho akɔhyɛ aware bɔne mu no?

[Adaka/Mfonini wɔ kratafa 5]

AWARE BƆNE—NNEƐMA FOFORO A ƐDE BA

• Sika: “Ebia obi besusuw sɛ sikasɛm ho nhyehyɛe boa ma awarefo yɛ biako denam nneɛma a wɔbɛyɛ abom, wɔn sika a wɔde bɛbom atotɔ asetra mu ahiade, ne wɔn brɛ so aba a wobetwa no so. Nanso, saa ade yi a ɛte sɛ nea ɛma awarefo yɛ biako no tumi ma wɔn ntam tetew nso.”—Oduruyɛfo Aaron T. Beck.

• Ɔwofoyɛ: “Yɛahu sɛ awarefo ɔha biara mu 67 na wɔhwere anigye koraa wɔ wɔn aware mu bere a wɔawo wɔn abakan no, na ntawntawdi foforo pii nso sɔre. Ade biako nti a ɛte saa ne sɛ awofo no abam tumi bu na wɔbɛyɛ wɔn a wonni adagyew.”—Ɔbenfo John Gottman.

• Atorodi: “Mpɛn pii no, atorodi de awaresɛe ba, na sɛ atorodi no yɛ ketewa anaa kɛse no etumi ma obi hwere ahotoso a ɔwɔ wɔ ɔfoforo mu no. Esiane sɛ wɔka ahotoso ho asɛm sɛ ade titiriw a ɛma aware gyina daa nti, so ɛyɛ nwonwa sɛ sɛ obi anni nokware a, ebetumi ama n’aware asɛe?”—Ɔbenfo Nina S. Fields.

• Ɔbarima ne Ɔbea Nna: “Anwonwasɛm ne sɛ ansa na nnipa pii bɛhwehwɛ awaregyae no, na wɔde ɔbarima ne ɔbea nna akame wɔn ho mfe pii. Mpɛn pii no, wɔne wɔn ho nna koraa, na ɛtɔ da nso a, wonya aware mu nna mu kyɛfa, nanso womfi komam na wɔyɛ saa, anaasɛ ɔhokafo biako de di ne honam fam ahiade ho dwuma kɛkɛ.”—Judith S. Wallerstein, adwene mu duruyɛfo.

[Adaka/Mfonini wɔ kratafa 6]

ƆKWAN BƐN SO NA ENYA MMOFRA SO NKƐNTƐNSO?

So sɛnea w’aware te no betumi anya wo mma so nkɛntɛnso? Sɛnea Ɔbenfo John Gottman a wayɛ awarefo mu nhwehwɛmu mfe 20 ni no kyerɛ no, mmuae no yɛ yiw. Ɔka sɛ: “Wɔ nhwehwɛmu abien bi a yɛde mfe du yɛe mu no, yehui sɛ mmofra a wɔn awofo aware nye no bɔ hu kɛse bere a wɔne afoforo redi agoru no, na wonnya anigye koraa. Mpɛn pii no, aware mu ntawntawdi ma mmofra mmɔdenbɔ brɛ ase wɔ sukuu mu, ɛmfa ho nimdeɛ biara a wɔwɔ.” Nea ɛne no bɔ abira no, Ɔbenfo Gottman ka sɛ, mmofra a abusuabɔ pa da wɔn awofo ntam no “bɔ mmɔden wɔ nhomasua ne asetra ho nsɛm mu, efisɛ wɔn awofo akyerɛ wɔn sɛnea wɔde obu bɛma afoforo ne sɛnea wobedi nkate fam haw ho dwuma.”