Ganhuro 16
Ndokwomuzvarirwo Here Kuchema Nenzira Yandinoita Nayo?
MITCHELL anoyeka zuva rakafa baba vake: “Ndakanga ndiri mumugariro wokukatyamara. . . . ‘Hakungagoni kuva kwechokwadi,’ ndakaramba ndichizviudza ini ndimene.”
Zvimwe mumwe munhu waunoda—mubereki, munun’una, hanzvadzi, kana kuti shamwari—afa. Uye panzvimbo pokungonzwa bedzi rusuruvaro, unonzwawo kushatirwa, nyongano, nokutya. Uchiedza sezvaunogona, haungagoni kudzora misodzi. Kana kuti unochengeta kurwadziwa kwaunonzwa kwakavharirwa mukati mako.
Zvamazvirokwazvo, kunongova bedzi kwomuzvarirwo kuita mukuchema apo mumwe munhu watinoda anofa. Kunyange Jesu Kristu, apo iye akaziva nezvorufu rweshamwari yake chaiyoiyo, “akasvimha misodzi” uye aka“rira” mukati. (Johane 11:33-36; enzanisa na 2 Samueri 13:28-39.) Kuziva kuti vamwe vakanzwa sokunzwa kwaunoita kungakubetsera kubata zviri nani zvikuru nokurashikirwa kwako.
Kuramba
Pakutanga unganzwa kugomara. Zvimwe mumwoyo unonzwa kuti chinongova zvacho chiroto chakashata, kuti mumwe munhu achauya ndokukumutsa uye zvinhu zvichava sezvazvanguve zviri. Somuenzaniso, amai vaCindy vakafa negomarara. Cindy anotsanangura, kuti: “Handizati ndabvuma zvomenemene kuti ivo vashanya. Chimwe chinhu chichaitika icho ini ndingave ndakataura navo munguva yakapfuura, uye ndinozviwana ndimene ndichiti, ‘Ndinotofanira kuudza Amai ichocho.’”
Vanhu vanofirwa vanokombamira kukuramba kuti rufu rwaitika. Ivo vangatofunga kuti ivo nokukurumidza vanoona nyakufa pamugwagwa, mubhazi rinopfuura, munzira dzapasi pevhu. Todzano ipi neipi yechinguvana inogona kunyandura tariro yokuti zvimwe yave iri mhosho chose. Yeuka, Mwari akaita munhu kuti ararame, kwete kufa. (Genesi 1:28; 2:9) Naizvozvo ndokwomuzvarirwo bedzi kuti tine chinetso nokubvuma rufu.
“Aigona Sei Kundiitira Zvakadaro?”
Rega kuva anokatyamadzwa kana pakambova nenhambo apo iwewo unotinzwirei hasha munhu akafa. Cindy anoyeuka, kuti: “Apo Amai vakafa, paiva nenguva apo ini ndakafunga kuti, ‘Imi hamuna kutiudza zvomenemene kuti maizofa. Makangoenda bedzi.’ Ndakanzwa ndatizwa.”
Rufu rwehanzvadzi kana munun’una nenzira yakafanana runogona kunyandura kunzwa kwakadaro. “Kunenge kusina mufungo kuitira hasha mumwe munhu afa,” anotsanangura kudaro Karen, “asi apo munun’una wangu akafa, hapana chandaigona kuita. Mifungo yakadai sokuti, ‘Aigona sei kufa achindisiya ndiri ndoga bedzi? Aigona sei kundiitira zvakadaro?’ yakaramba ichiitika mumusoro mangu.” Vamwe vanozviwana vamene vachishatirirwa hama dzomumba nokuda kwokunzwa kwose uko rufu rwake rwaparira. Vamwe vanonzwa varegeredzwa, zvimwe kutoita pfunde-pfunde, nokuda kwenguva yose nengwariro izvo hanzvadzi inorwara kana munun’una akawana asati afa. Vabereki vanotapurwa nenhamo avo, nokuda kwokutya kurashikirwa nomumwe mwana, vanokukurumidza kuva vanonyanyotaviridzira vanogonawo kunyandura ruvengo kumushakabvu.
“Kudai bedzi . . . ”
Kuva nemhaka kuita kwakazhinji kazhinji. Mibvunzo nepanikiro zvinodirana mundangariro. ‘Ko pane chimwezve chinhu chipi nechipi chatingadai takaita here? Taifanira kuva takabvunza mumwe chiremba here?’ Uye ipapo panova navanakudai bedzi. ‘Kudai bedzi takanga tisino kupopotedzana zvikuru kwazvo.’ ‘Kudai bedzi ndakanga ndava nomutsa zvikuru.’ ‘Panzvimbo pako, kudai bedzi ndakanga ndaenda kuchitoro.’
Mitchell anotsanangura, kuti: “Ndinoshuva kuti kudai ndakanga ndave ndashivirira zvikuru ndokunzwisisa baba vangu. Kana kuti ndakaita zvinhu zvakawanda pamba kukuita kuti kuve nyore zvikuru kwavari apo ivo vaisvika pamba.” Uye Elisa akacherekedza, kuti: “Apo Amai vakarwara ndokufa nokukurumidza zvikuru, paiva nouku kunzwa kwose kusingapedzwi kwatakanga tinakwo kuno mumwe nomumwe. Ndinonzwa ndine mhaka zvikuru zvino. Ndinofunga nezvezvinhu zvose zvandaifanira kudai ndakavataurira, zvinhu zvose zvandisati ndaifanira kuve ndakataura, zvinhu zvose zvandakakanganisa.”
Ungatozvipomera mhaka iwe umene nokuda kwechakaitika. Cindy anoyeuka, kuti: “Ndainzwa ndine mhaka pamusoro pepokanidzano iri yose yatakava nayo, pamusoro penhamo yose yandakaparira Amai. Ndakanzwa kuti nhamo yose yandakavaparira ingave yakabetsera kuchirwere chavo.”
“Chii Chandinoudza Shamwari Dzangu?”
Imwe chirikadzi yakacherekedza pamusoro pomwanakomana wayo, kuti: “Jonny aivenga kuudza vamwe vana kuti baba vake vakanga vafa. Kwaimuvhiringidza uye kwamushatirisawo, nemhaka yokuti iye akanga akangaidzika.”
Bhuku rinonzi Death and Grief in the Family rinotsanangura, kuti: “‘Chii chandinoudza shamwari dzangu?’ ndiwo mubvunzo woukoshi hukuru kuhama dzomuimba zhinji [vakoma namanun’una kana kuti hanzvadzi dzichiri mhenyu]. Kazhinji kazhinji, hama dzomuimba imwe dzinonzwa kuti shamwari dzadzo hadzinzwisisi zvavari kunzwa. Kutamburira kugoverana revo yokurashikirwa kunganangana nokuti tuzu kusina maturo uye zvitarisiko zvokubvunza-bvunza. . . . Naizvozvo, nyakufirwa anganzwa arambwa, asiiwa ari oga, uye, padzimwe nguva, atovhiringidzika ndangariro.”
Ziva, kunyange zvazvo zvakadaro, kuti vamwe padzimwe nguva havatozivi chokutaura kushamwari inotambudzika—nokudaro ivo havatauri chinhu chipi nechipi. Kurashikirwa kwako kungavayeuchidzawo kuti ivowo vanogona kurashikirwa nomudikanwi. Vasingadi kuyeuchidzwa nezvaizvezvo, ivo vangatobva pauri.
Kubvuma Nhamo Yako
Kuziva kuti nhamo yako ndeyomuzvarirwo ibetsero huru mukuinzwisisa. Asi kupfuurira kuramba chakaitika kunongokudziridza bedzi nhamo. Dzimwe nguva mhuri ichasiya nzvimbo isina munhu patafura rezvokudya nokuda kwanyakufa, sokunge kuti iyeyo akanga odokupinda nokuda kwezvokudya. Kunyange zvazvo zvakadaro, imwe mhuri yakasarudza kubata nhau nomutoo wakasiana. Vanodaro amai: “Hatizati taitongogarazve nomutoo mumwe chete patafura romukicheni. Murume wangu akachinjira pachigaro chaDavid, uye ikoku kwakabetsera kuvhara nzvimbo isina munhu.”
Kunobetserawo kuziva kuti kunyange panganyanyova nezvinhu zvawaifanira kana kuti zvausati waifanira kuve wakataura kana kuti wakaita, kazhinji kazhinji izvozvo hazvisati zviri zvikonzero nei mudikanwi wako akafa. Kunze kwezvo, “Isu tose tinogumburwa nguva zhinji.”—Jakobho 3:2.
Kugoverana Kunzwa Kwako
Dr. Earl Grollman anokarakadza, kuti: “Hakuna kuringana kuziva kunzwa kwako kunotambudza; unofanira kubata nakwo nomutoo wakajeka. . . . Iyi ndiyo nguva yokugoverana kunzwa kwako.” Haizati iri nguva yokuzviparadzanisa iwe umene.—Zvirevo 18:1.
Dr. Grollman anotaura kuti mukuramba nhamo, “unongowedzera bedzi nhamo ndokunonozetsa kupera kwenhamo.” Iye anokarakadza, kuti: “Wana muteereri akanaka, shamwari ichanzwisisa kuti kunzwa kwako kuzhinji kuita kwomuzvarirwo kunhamo yako yakakomba.” Mubereki, hanzvadzi, munun’una, shamwari, kana kuti mukuru ari muungano yechiKristu kazhinji kazhinji vanogona kubvumikisa kuva tsigiro chaiyoiyo.
Asika zvakadiniko kana iwe uchinzwa uchida kuchema? Dr. Grollman anowedzera, kuti: “Kuna vakati kuti, kuchema ndiwo mushonga wakanakisisa nokuda kwokumanikidzika kwepfungwa, kuvarume uyewo kuvakadzi navana. Kuchema inzira yomuzvarirwo yokuderedza nayo shungu ndokupodza marwadzo.”
Kubatira Pamwe Semhuri
Vabereki vako vanogonawo kuva betsero huru munguva yokurashikirwa—uye iwe unogonawo kuva betsero kwavari. Somuenzaniso, Jane naSarah, vokuEngland, vakafirwa nehanzvadzi yavo yezera ramakore 23, Darrall. Ivo vakakurira sei nhamo yavo? Jane anopindura, kuti: “Nemhaka yokuti isu taiva vana, ini ndakaenda ndokuita chinhu chiri chose pamwe chete naBaba, apo Sarah aiita chinhu chiri chose naAmai. Neiyi nzira isu takanga tisati tiri toga hedu.” Jane anopfuurira kuyeuka, kuti: “Ndakanga ndisina kutongoona Baba vachichema kare. Ivo vakachema kwenguva dzinoverengeka, uye mune iyi nzira, kwakanga kwakanaka, uye kana ndichiyeuka, ndinonzwa zvakanaka zvino nokuti ndaigona kuvapo bedzi kuti ndivanyaradze.”
Tariro Inotsigira
David muduku, wokuEngland, akafirwa nehanzvadzi yake Janet yezera ramakore 13 yaiva nechirwere cheHodgkin. Iye anoti: “Chimwe chezvinhu chakandibetsera zvikurukuru chakanga chiri rugwaro rumwe chete rwakanokorwa mashoko muhurukuro yamariro. Rwunoti: ‘Nokuti Mwari akagadza zuva muiro iye akaita donzo kutonga pasi rinogarwa mukururama, uye iye akagovera simbisiro kuvanhu vose mukuti iye akamumutsa, Jesu, muna vakafa.’ Mukurukuri akasimbisa shoko rokuti ‘simbisiro’ pamusoro porumuko. Iwawa akanga ari manyuko makuru esimba kwandiri pashure pamariro.”—Mabasa 17:31; onawo Marko 5:35-42; 12:26, 27; Johane 5:28, 29; 1 VaKorinte 15:3-8.
Tariro yeBhaibheri yorumuko haizati ichibvisa nhamo. Hauzati uchizotongokanganwa mudikanwi wako. Zvisinei, vazhinji vakawana nyaradzo chaiyoiyo muzvipikirwa zveBhaibheri uye, somuuyo, vakavamba kunaya pashoma napashoma pakurwadziwa kwokufirwa nomumwe munhu wavanoda.
Mibvunzo Yehwirudzuro
◻ Unonzwa kuti ndokwomuzvarirwo here kuchema nokuda kwomumwe munhu waunoda uyo akafa?
◻ Kunzwai kungawanwa nomunhu anotambudzika, uye nei?
◻ Ndedzipi dzimwe nzira idzo pwere inotambudzika inogona kuvamba kunzwisisa kunzwa kwayo?
◻ Unganyaradza sei shamwari yakafirwa nomudikanwi?
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 128]
“Handizati ndabvuma chaizvoizvo kuti ivo ashaya . . . Ndinozviwana ndimene ndichiti, ‘Ndinotofanira kuudza Amai ichocho’”
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 131]
“Apo Amai vakafa, . . . ini ndakafunga kuti, ‘Imi hamuna kutiudza zvomenemene kuti maizofa. Makangoenda bedzi.’ Ndakanzwa ndatizwa”
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 129]
“Ikoku hakuzati kuri kuitika zvomenemene kwandiri!”
[Mufananidzo uri papeji 130]
Apo tinorashikirwa nomumwe munhu watinoda murufu, tinoda tsigiro yomumwe munhu anonzwira tsitsi