Kubatsira Vakadzi Vanorohwa Nevarume
CHII chingaitwa kubatsira vakadzi vanoitirwa chisimba? Kutanga, munhu anofanira kunzwisisa kuti zvinhu zvakavaomera zvakadini. Kakawanda kacho kukuvadza kunoitwa nevarume vanorova madzimai kunopfuura kurova chete. Zvinowanzosanganisirawo kutuka uye kutyisidzira, zvokuti mukadzi wacho anonzwa asina maturo uye asingabatsiri.
Funga nezvaRoxana, ane nhau yarondedzerwa munyaya yokutanga. Dzimwe nguva murume wake anoshandisa magaramwoyo. “Anondituka nemazita okuzvidza,” anodaro Roxana. “Anoti: ‘Hauna kana nokutombopedza chikoro. Ungatarisira sei vana pasina inini? Uri nyope chaiyo, amai venhando. Unofunga kuti zviremera zvingakupa vana kuti uvatarisire here kana ukaenda?’”
Murume waRoxana akaomerawo nemari. Haamubvumiri kuti ashandise motokari, uye anofona zuva rose achida kuziva zvaanenge achiita. Kana mukadzi akataurawo zvaanofunga, anobva amupengera. Nokudaro Roxana akadzidza kusambofa akataurawo zviri kutsi kwemwoyo.
Sezvinogona kuoneka, kushungurudza mukadzi inyaya yakaoma. Kuti ubatsire, teerera netsitsi. Yeuka kuti zvinowanzova zvakaoma kuti mukadzi anoshungurudzwa ataure pamusoro pezvave zvichiitika kwaari. Chinangwa chako chinofanira kuva chokusimbisa mukadzi wacho sezvaanobata nemamiriro acho ezvinhu nepaanogona napo.
Vamwe vakadzi vanorohwa vangafanira kutsvaka kubatsirwa nezviremera. Dzimwe nguva, danho rakati—zvakadai sokupindira kwemapurisa—ringaita kuti murume anoshungurudza mudzimai aone kuipa kwezviito zvake. Zvisinei, ichokwadi kuti kuda kuchinja kupi nokupi kunowanzopera kana mapurisa aenda.
Mudzimai anoshushwa anofanira kusiya murume wake here? Bhaibheri harirerutsi nyaya yokuparadzana kwevakaroorana. Panguva imwe cheteyo, harimanikidzi mukadzi ari kushushwa kugara nomurume anoisa pangozi utano hwake uye zvimwe noupenyu hwake chaihwo. Muapostora wechiKristu Pauro akanyora kuti: “Kana akabva chaizvoizvo, ngaarambe asina kuroorwa kana kuti zvimwe adzokerane nomurume wake.” (1 VaKorinde 7:10-16) Sezvo Bhaibheri risingarambidzi kuparadzana mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma, zvichaitwa nomukadzi panyaya iyi chisarudzo chake oga. (VaGaratiya 6:5) Hapana anofanira kumanikidza mudzimai kusiya murume wake, asi hapanawo anofanira kumanikidza mukadzi anoshushwa kugara nomurume ane utsinye kana utano, upenyu, uye kunamata kwake zvava pangozi.
Vanorova Vakadzi Vanogona Kuchinja Here?
Kushusha mudzimai kuputswa nemaune kwenheyo dzeBhaibheri. Pana VaEfeso 4:29, 31, panoti: “Shoko rakaora ngarirege kubuda mumuromo menyu . . . Pfini dzose nokutsamwa nehasha nokupopota nokutaura zvakaipa ngazvibviswe kwamuri pamwe nouipi hwose.”
Hapana murume anozviti muteveri waKristu angataura kuti anoda mudzimai wake kana achimushusha. Kana achibata mudzimai wake noutsinye, zvimwe zvakanaka zvaanoita zvingabatsirei? ‘Anorova’ mukadzi haagoni kuwana ropafadzo chaidzo muungano yechiKristu. (1 Timoti 3:3; 1 VaKorinde 13:1-3) Zvechokwadi, upi noupi anozviti muKristu anongogara achiviruka nehasha asingapfidzi anogona kudzingwa muungano yechiKristu.—VaGaratiya 5:19-21; 2 Johani 9, 10.
Varume vanoita zvechisimba vanogona kuchinja here? Vamwe vakachinja. Zvisinei, anorova mudzimai haawanzochinja kunze kwokunge (1) achibvuma kuti maitiro ake haana kunaka, (2) achida kuchinja mararamiro ake, uye (3) achitsvaka kubatsirwa. Zvapupu zvaJehovha zvakawana kuti Bhaibheri rine simba rinogona kuita kuti vanhu vachinje. Vakawanda vanofarira vanodzidza Bhaibheri nazvo vakakudziridza chishuvo chakasimba chokufadza Mwari. NezvaJehovha Mwari, vadzidzi veBhaibheri vatsva vanodzidza kuti “mweya wake unovenga wakaipa nounomanikidza.” (Pisarema 11:5) Zvechokwadi, kuti murume anorova mudzimai achinje muitiro wake kunoda zvinopfuura kurega kurova. Kunodawo kuti achinje maonero aanoita mudzimai wake.
Murume paanowana zivo yaMwari, anodzidza kuona mudzimai wake kwete somuranda asi so“mubatsiri” uye kwete seasingakoshi asi se‘anokudzwa.’ (Genesi 2:18; 1 Petro 3:7) Anodzidzawo kunzwira tsitsi uye kudiwa kwokuteerera zvinofunga mudzimai wake. (Genesi 21:12; Muparidzi 4:1) Purogiramu yokudzidza Bhaibheri inopiwa neZvapupu zvaJehovha yabatsira vakaroorana vakawanda. Hapana nzvimbo yomudzvinyiriri, kana kuti mushushi mumhuri yechiKristu.—VaEfeso 5:25, 28, 29.
“Shoko raMwari ibenyu uye rine simba.” (VaHebheru 4:12) Saka, uchenjeri hunowanikwa muBhaibheri hunogona kubatsira vakaroorana kuongorora zvinetso zvavanosangana nazvo uye kuvapa ushingi hwokubata nazvo. Kupfuura izvozvo, Bhaibheri rine tariro yechokwadi uye inonyaradza yokuona nyika isina mhirizhonga apo Mambo wokudenga akagadzwa naJehovha achatonga vanhu vose vanoteerera. Bhaibheri rinoti: “Ucharwira mushayiwi kana achidanidzira; nomurombo usina mubatsiri. Uchadzikinura mweya yavo pakutambudzika napakumanikidzwa.”—Pisarema 72:12, 14.
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 12]
Hapana nzvimbo yomudzvinyiriri, kana kuti mushushi mumhuri yechiKristu
[Bhokisi riri papeji 8]
Kugadzirisa Pfungwa Dzisiri Idzo
• Madzimai anorohwa ndiwo anoita kuti varume vavo vavarove.
Varume vakawanda vanorova madzimai avo vanoramba kuti ndivo vane mhaka, vachitaura kuti madzimai avo anovadenha. Kunyange dzimwe shamwari dzemhuri dzingabvuma pfungwa yokuti mudzimai wacho akaoma kubata naye, saka hazvishamisi kuti murume wake anotsamwa nguva nenguva. Asi izvi zvakafanana nokupa mhaka atadzirwa uye kutsigira atadza wacho. Chaizvoizvo, madzimai anorohwa anowanzoita zvose zvaanokwanisa kuti varume vavo vagadzikane. Kunze kwezvo, kurova mudzimai wako hakumbofi kwakapembedzwa chero mumamiriro api ezvinhu. Bhuku rinonzi The Batterer—A Psychological Profile rinoti: “Varume vanoendeswa kumatare nemhaka yokurova madzimai vakapindwa muropa nemhirizhonga. Vanoishandisa sechinhu chokuderedza kushatirwa uye kuora mwoyo, nzira yokudzora nayo uye yokugadzirisa zvinetso, uye yokuderedza kuremerwa mupfungwa. . . . Kakawanda kacho, havatombobvumi kuti vane chinetso kana kuona nyaya yacho seyakakomba.”
• Doro rinoita kuti murume arove mudzimai wake.
Ichokwadi kuti vamwe varume vanowedzera kuva nechisimba kana vanwa doro. Asi zvine musoro here kutaura kuti doro ndiro rinokonzera izvozvo? “Kudhakwa kunopa anorova mudzimai chimwe chinhu chokupomera, panzvimbo pokuzvipomera iye, nokuda kwemaitiro ake,” akanyora kudaro K. J. Wilson mubhuku rake rinonzi When Violence Begins at Home. Anopfuurira kuti: “Zvinoratidzika sokuti, munzanga yedu, mhirizhonga inoitwa mudzimba inonyatsonzwisisika kana ikaitwa nomunhu akadhakwa. Mukadzi anobatwa noutsinye angarega kuona murume wake seari kumushusha, asi achifunga nezvake sechidhakwa kana kuti chiradza.” Wilson anoti kufunga kwakadaro, kunogona kupa mukadzi tariro yenhema yokuti “kana murume wacho akangorega kunwa, mhirizhonga yacho inobva yapera.”
Panguva ino, vaongorori vakawanda vanoona kudhakwa nokurova kuva zvinetso zviviri zvakasiyana zvachose. Pamusoro pazvo, varume vakawanda vane chinetso chokudhakwa havarovi madzimai avo. Vanyori vebhuku rinonzi When Men Batter Women vanoti: “Kurova kunonyanya kuitwa kuti kupfuurire nokubudirira kwakunoita pakudzora, kutyisidzira, uye kunyadzisa kwakunoita mukadzi anorohwa wacho. . . . Kushandisa zvinodhaka zvimwewo zvinhu zvinoitwa nomunhu anorova wacho. Asi kungava kukanganisa kufunga kuti kushandisa zvinodhaka ndiko kunokonzera mhirizhonga yacho.”
• Varume vanorova madzimai vanoita mhirizhonga nomunhu wose.
Kakawanda kacho murume anorova mudzimai anokwanisa kufara neshamwari nevamwe. Anopfeka unhu hwakatosiyana zvachose. Ndosaka shamwari dzemhuri dzingawana nyaya dzemhirizhonga dzisingadaviriki. Asi, chokwadi ndechokuti, murume anorova mudzimai anosarudza kurova senzira yokudzora nayo mudzimai wake.
• Vakadzi havarambi kubatwa nenzira youtsinye.
Zvimwe, pfungwa iyi inobva pakusanzwisisa mamiriro ezvinhu okushaya zano evakadzi vasina kwokutizira. Mukadzi anorohwa angava neshamwari dzingagara naye kwevhiki imwe chete kana mbiri, asi chii chaachaita pashure pacho? Kuwana basa uye kubhadhara rendi iye aine vana vokutarisira zvinhu zvakaoma. Uye mutemo ungarambidza kutiza nevana. Vamwe vakaedza kubva asi vakatsvakwa ndokutorwa, vachiita zvokumanikidzirwa kana kuti zvokunyengetedzwa. Shamwari dzisinganzwisisi dzingadavira nenzira isiri iyo kuti vakadzi vakadaro vari kubvuma kubatwa noutsinye.