Vechiduku Vanobvunza Kuti . . .
Nei Ndisingagoni Kuchengeta Shamwari?
“Shamwari yangu neni taigoverana mifarwa yakawanda nemitambo; taifarikanya kupedza nguva tiri pamwe chete. Asi kamwe kamwe ushamwari hwedu hwakavamba kutonhora. Ikoku kwakandiita ndinzwe ndakaora mwoyo chaizvo.”—Maria.
PAKUPEDZISIRA wazowana shamwari, mumwe munhu anokunzwisisa uye asingakutongi. Ipapo, kamwe kamwe, ushamwari hwenyu hunovamba kuderera. Unoedza kuhuponesa, asi pasina budiriro.
Shamwari yakavimbika haina maturo. (Zvirevo 18:24) Uye kurasikirwa neimwe kunogona kuva kunorwadza zvikuru. Bhaibheri rinotiudza kuti apo Jobho akaraswa neshamwari dzake, akachema: “Hama dzangu dzandinyengera, shamwari dzangu, dzaindiziva, dzakandikanganwa.” (Jobho 19:14) Unganzwa kurwadziwa kwakafanana kana munguva ichangobva kupfuura iyi wakava neushamwari hwakatanga kuderera. Patrick muduku akati, “kwakaita sokunge kuti mumwe munhu waunoda afa.” Asi zvakadiniko kana hunodokuva ushamwari huri hwose hwawakambova nahwo hwakaguma?
Ushamwari Husina Kusimba
Bhuku rinonzi Adolescence rakanyorwa naEastwood Atwater rinotaura kuti ushamwari hwavechiduku “hunopisa nokutonhora, nokukurumidza, nechinjo dzakamwe kamwe huru, nemirangariro yakakasharara apo ushamwari hwacho hunoputsika.” Chii chinoita kuti ushamwari hwavechiduku huve husina kusimba kwazvo? Chimwe chikonzero ndechokuti sezvo unokura, mirangariro yako, pfungwa, nharidzano, uye fariro zvinovamba kuchinja. (Enzanisa na1 VaKorinte 13:11.) Unogona kuzviwana umene uchipfuura zvikuru—kana kuti kusarira shure—kwavaenzani vako mumativi akati.
Naizvozvo apo shamwari dzinokura, pane dzimwe nguva dzinoparadzana—kwete nemhaka yokuti vakashatirisana, asi nemhaka yokuti vanovamba nharidzano, fariro, uye mipimo zvakasiyana. Kungatova kwakanakisisa kuti ushamwari hupere. Sezvaunokura uye unovamba kurangarira zvinhu zvomudzimu zvakakomba zvikuru, ungaziva kuti dzimwe dzedzaisimbova shamwari dzako dzakanga dzisiri pesvedzero yakanaka. (1 VaKorinte 15:33) Unodziitira hanya, asi haufarikanyi songaniro yadzo sezvaisimboitika.
Zvinhu Zvinoshatisa Ushamwari
Zvakadiniko, kunyange zvakadaro, kana uchipfuurira kurasikirwa neshamwari—ukama hwaungada kuchengetedza? Nenzira yakajeka, kungagona kureva kuti une zvakaipa zvounhu zvokukurira. Godo, somuenzaniso, rinoshatisa ushamwari. Fungidzira kuti une shamwari yakati pfumei, ine mano akawanda, inokwezva zvikuru, kana kuti yakakurumbira zvikuru kupfuura iwe. Ungagumburwa nengwariro yomuraudzo iyo iye angagamuchira here? “Godo rinoodza mafupa.” (Zvirevo 14:30) “Ndakaitira chaizvoizvo godo mukurumbira weshamwari yangu nezvinhu zvose izvo akanga anazvo ini ndisina,” anobvuma kudaro Keenon muduku, “uye iko kwakatapura ushamwari hwedu.”
Ruchengera runogona kuva rimwe vara rinoparadza. Zvakadiniko kana ukaziva kuti shamwari iri kupedza nguva yakawanda zvikuru navamwe uye shomanene newe? Imwe pwere yakabvuma, kuti: “Ndakanga ndine godo kunyange kana vamwe vakataura nevamwe veshamwari dzangu.” Ungarangarira kusonganirana kweshamwari yako navamwe sechiito chokutengeswa.
Kusada kukwana kunogonawo kuparira kundikano youshamwari. Unoziva, somuenzaniso, kuti shamwari yako yaita makuhwa pamusoro pako, zvichida kunyange kufumura nhau dzakavanzika. (Zvirevo 20:19) “Handisati ndichizotongomuvimba zvakare!” unokuwa kudaro nehasha.
Ushamwari—Kugamuchira Kana Kuti Kupa Here?
Kana godo, kuchengera, kana kuti kusada kukwana zvikatambudza ushamwari hwenyu, zvibvunze umene, ‘Chii chandinoda kubva muushamwari?’ Unofungidzira kuti ushamwari hunobatanidza kuva nomumwe munhu anokupfugamira, mushandi anokuitira zvose zvaunoda here? Unotsvaga shamwari nokuda kwemukurumbira, kuzivikanwa, kana kuti mhindu here? Unokarira kuzvipira kwakakwana kunobva kushamwari, nemikana mishomanene nokuda kwavamwe muushamwari hwacho here? Ipapo unofanira kuchinja murangariro wako woushamwari.
Kubva mudzidziso dzeBhaibheri tinoziva kuti ukama hwakanaka navamwe hunobva, kwete mukuwana, asi mukupa! Pana Mateo 7:12, Jesu Kristu amene akati: “Zvinhu zvose zvamunoda kuti vanhu vakuitirei, muvaitire nemiwo saizvozvo.” Kunongova bedzi kwemuzvarirwo kukarira zvinhu zvakati kubva kushamwari. Bhuku rinonzi Understanding Relationships rinobvuma, kuti: “Tinokarira nguva dzose shamwari kuva mumwe munhu akatendeseka uye anobuda pachena, anoratidza chidakadaka, anotiudza zvakavanzika zvake nezvinetso, anotipa betsero apo tinoida, anotivimba uyewo . . . akagadzirira kupedza kusabvumirana.” Zvisinei, iwoyo hausi mugumo wenhau yacho. Bhuku racho rinowedzera, kuti: “Izvi ndizvo zvinhu izvo vanhu vanokarira shamwari kuvaitira uye vanokarira kuitirawo shamwari.—Kutsveyamisa mashoko ndokwedu.
Cherekedza nzira iyo Jesu amene akabata nayo avo vaiva pedyo naye. Akati kuvadzidzi vake: “Handichakuidziyi varanda, nokuti muranda haazivi zvinoitwa nashe wake. Asi ndinokuidzai hama.” Asi ushamwari hwaJesu navadzidzi vake hwakanga hwakavakirwa paizvo vaigona kumuitira here? Mukupesana. Iye akati: “Hakuna munhu ane rudo rukuru kune urwu, kuti munhu arashire hama dzake upenyu hwake.” (Johane 15:13, 15) Hungu, hwaro chaihwoihwo hweushamwari ndirwo rudo rwokurega zvimwe zvinhu! Apo rudo runenge ruri hwaro, ukama hunogona kupukunyuka rwisano nezvinetso.
Apo Zvinetso Zvinomuka
Fungidzira, somuenzaniso, kuti shamwari yako ine mari yakawanda, uchenjeri, kana kuti chipo kupfuura zvauri. Rudo rusina udyire runokubetsera kufara neshamwari yako. Kunyange zvakadaro, “rudo haruna godo” rinodaro Bhaibheri.—1 VaKorinte 13:4.
Kana kuti ngatitii shamwari yako inotaura kana kuti inoita chimwe chinhu chinokuvadza mirangariro yako. Kunoreva here kuti ushamwari hwenyu hwaparara? Kwete hazvo. Muapostora Pauro akaodzwa mwoyo zvikuru apo shamwari yake Marko yakamusiya parwendo rwoufundisi. Akaodzwa mwoyo zvikuru zvokuti akaramba kuti Marko amuperekedze parwendo rwake rwakatevera! Pauro akatopindurana namashoko makobvu nehama yokunyama yaMarko, Bharnabhasi, pamusoro penhau yacho. Makore akati gare gare, kunyage zvakadaro, Pauro akataura zvakanaka nezvaMarko, kunyange kumukoka kuRoma kuti amushumire. Sezviri pachena vakanga vapedza misiyano yavo.—Mabasa 15:37-39; 2 Timotio 4:11.
Huregererei kuedza kuita zvimwe chetezvo apo zvinetso zvinomuka muushamwari hwenyu? Musarega zvinhu zvichinyanyoipa. (VaEfeso 4:26) Usati wakurumidza kuita mhedziso kana kuita pomero dzehasha, teerera izvo shamwari yako inoda kutaura. (Zvirevo 18:13; 25:8, 9) Zvichida pava pane kusanzwisisana. Asi zvakadiniko kana shamwari yako ine mhaka chaizvoizvo ichiratidzira chisarudzo chakaipa? Yeuka kuti shamwari yako anongovawo munhu. (Pisarema 51:5; 1 Johane 1:10) Uye tose zvedu tine mhaka yokutaura nokuita zvinhu zvatinodemba gare gare.—Enzanisa naMuparidzi 7:21, 22.
Kunyange zvakadaro, unogona kutaura pachena kuti zviito zveshamwari yako zvakurwadzisa zvikuru sei. Ikoko kungasunda shamwari yako kukumbira ruregerero zvapachokwadi. Sezvo rudo “[rusi]na zvishura,” zvichida ungagona kukanganwa nhau yacho. (1 VaKorinte 13:5) Achitarira shure kuushamwari hwakaputsika, Keenon muduku anorondedzera, kuti: “Kudai ndikakuitazve, ndingadai ndisina kukarira kukwana muushamwari hwedu. Ndingadai ndakateerera zvikuru ndokumutsigira uye kwete kukudza zvikanganiso zvake. Ndinonzwisisa zvino kuti chinoita kuti ushamwari hubudirire kupedza miedzo nedenho.”
Asi zvakadiniko kana shamwari yako isiri kupedza nguva yakawanda newe sekare kana kuti yakawanda seyaungada? Kungave kuri kuti wakanyanyochengera nguva nengwariro zveshamwari yako here? Ikoku kungagona kuparadza ukama. Vanhu vane ukama hunobudirira vanopana rusununguko rwokuti vaite zvavanoda. (Enzanisa naZvirevo 25:17.) Vanobvumira mikana yakawanda yokufarikanya navamwe vanhu! Kunyange zvakadaro, Bhaibheri rinokurudzira vaKristu ku“kura” muushamwari hwavo. (2 VaKorinte 6:13, NW) Naizvozvo apo shamwari inoita ikoku, hapana dikano yokuirangarira seisina kuvimbika.
Chaizvoizvo, haisi pfungwa yakanaka kuva anonyanyotsamira pamunhu upi noupi zvake. (Pisarema 146:3) Kuchenjera kusakurira ushamwari navamwe vari kunze kweboka ravaenzani vako, vakadai savabereki vako, vakuru, uye vamwe vanhu vakuru vanoitira hanya, vakavimbika. Ana anorondedzera zvakanaka, kuti: “Amai vangu ndivo shamwari yangu yakanakisisa. Ndaigona kutaura navo pamusoro pechinhu chipi nechipi nechinhu chiri chose.”
Ushamwari Hunogarisa Hunogona Kufarikanywa!
Bhaibheri rinoti pana 1 Petro 3:8: “Pakupedzisira, muve nomwoyo mumwe mose, munzwirane ngoni, mude hama, muve nomwoyo munyoro, muzvininipise.” Hungu, ratidza mutsa, tsitsi, tsika dzakaperera, uye kuitira vamwe vanhu zvapachokwadi, uye nguva dzose uchikwezva shamwari! Sezvinobvumwa, ushamwari hunogara hunoda nhamburiko nokutsunga. Asi tuso dzacho dzinokuita kuve kwakafanirwa zvikuru nenhamburiko.
Nenzira inofadza, Bhaibheri rinotaura nezvaDhavhidhi naJonatani. Vakafarikanya ushamwari hwakatanhamara. (1 Samueri 18:1) Ivo vakakwanisa kukurira godo duku nezvikanganiso zvounhu. Ikoku kwakabvira nemhaka yokuti vose vari vaviri Dhavhidhi naJonatani vakaisa ushamwari noruvimbiko kuna Jehovha Mwari pamusoro pechinhu chiri chose zvacho. Ita zvimwe chetezvo, uye uchava nechinetso chishoma chokuchengeta shamwari dzinotya Mwari!
[Mifananidzo iri papeji 16]
Ushamwari kazhinji kazhinji hunoputsika apo mumwe anorangarira kuti kuva nedzimwe shamwari kusavimbika.