Urukundo rw’Imana rurabonekera mu rukundo inabibondo afise

“Mbeg’umugore yokwibagira umwana akiri kw ibere, ngo yoye kugirira akagongwe ubura bgiwe? Ni koko, abo boshobora kwibagira, ariko jeho sinoshobora kukwibagira.”​—YESAYA 49:15.

IGIHE umuvyeyi aba ariko aronsa uruyoya ararutengatira. Ivyo biragaragaza ikibabarwe be n’urukundo uwo muvyeyi aba afitiye urwo ruyoya. Inabibondo umwe yitwa Pam avuga ati: “Igihe naterura uruyoya rwanje ari bwo bwa mbere, narumvise ndengewe n’urukundo nongera niyumvamwo bimwe bikomeye ko mfise ibanga ryo kwitwararika urwo ruyoya.”

Naho bisa n’ivyibonekeza yuko urukundo inabibondo agaragariza uruyoya rwiwe rugira ico ruterereye cane kw’ikura ry’urwo ruyoya, ubushakashatsi bwagizwe bwaremeje yuko ari ivy’ukuri. Urwandiko rumwe rwasohowe n’Umugambi werekeye ivy’amagara yo mu mutwe w’Ishirahamwe mpuzamakungu rijejwe amagara y’abantu, rugira ruti: “Ivyigwa vyagizwe vyarerekanye yuko inzoya zihebwa be n’izitandukanywa na ba nyina bazo, iyo zikuze usanga zicika abana badahimbawe kandi barengewe n’umubabaro, rimwe na rimwe bigashika aho bata umutwe.” Urwo rwandiko nyene ruravuga ibijanye n’icigwa kimwe cerekana yuko abana bagaragarizwa urukundo bakongera bakitwararikwa kuva bakiri bato, usanga bishoboka ko bagira ubwenge bwinshi cane kuruta abana batitwararikwa muri ubwo buryo.

Ku bijanye n’ukuntu urukundo inabibondo agaragariza umwana wiwe ruhambaye, uwitwa Alan Schore, uno akaba ari umwigisha w’ibijanye n’indwara zo mu mutwe kw’ishure ry’ivy’ubuvuzi ryitwa UCLA ryo muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika, avuga ati: “Ubucuti bwa mbere umwana agirana n’umuntu, ni ukuvuga burya agirana na nyina, bumubera nk’akarorero, kubera yuko buguma buryohora ubushobozi afise mu bijanye n’ubundi bucuti bwose azohava agirana n’abandi mu vy’inyiyumvo.”

Ikibabaje ni uko usanga intuntu, indwara be n’iyindi mikazo, bishobora gutuma inabibondo atitwararika umwana wiwe canke mbere bigatuma “[yi]bagira umwana akiri kw ibere.” (Yesaya 49:15) Mugabo ako ni akaba gaciyemwo, si ko bisanzwe bimeze. Kukaba nkako, ivyo gukunda abana, bisa n’uko ari ikintu gisanzwe kiri muri ba inabibondo. Abashakashatsi basanze igihe abavyeyi baba bariko baribaruka bagira urugero runini rw’inkabuzo yitwa ocytocine, iyituma umuvyeyi agira ibise, mu nyuma na ho ikagira uruhara mu bijanye n’ihingurwa ry’amaberebere. Vyiyumvirwa kandi ko iyo nkabuzo nyene, iyihingurwa mu mubiri w’abagabo be n’uw’abagore, igira uruhara mu gutuma inabibondo afata umwana wiwe mu buryo buranga urukundo kandi buzira ubwikunzi.

Urukundo rukomoka hehe?

Abashigikira inyigisho y’ivy’ihindagurika bigisha yuko urukundo ruzira ubwikunzi, nka rumwe ruri hagati ya inabibondo n’umwana wiwe, rwabayeho ku gihamana kandi ngo uko abantu bagiye baraboneka biciye kw’ihindagurika, ubushobozi bwo gukunda bwarazigamwe kubera yuko abagiye bararugaragaza vyabagiriye akamaro. Nk’akarorero, ikinyamakuru kimwe co kuri Internet (Mothering Magazine) kivuga giti: “Igihimba ca mbere c’ubwonko bwacu twaronse biciye kw’ihindagurika, icaje kwiyongera ku gihimba c’ubwonko twakuye ku bikoko twakomotseko bikwega inda hasi, ni igihimba c’ubwonko kiraba ibijanye n’inyiyumvo, ni ukuvuga aho inyiyumvo zacu ziva. Ico gihimba ni co gituma ba inabibondo bunga ubucuti bwa hafi n’inzoya zabo.”

Ni ivy’ukuri yuko ubushakashatsi bwagizwe bwerekanye ko igihimba c’ubwonko kiraba ibijanye n’inyiyumvo kigira ico giterereye mu vyerekeye ukuntu twiyumva. Naho ari ukwo, ubwo woba wumva vyumvikana kuvuga yuko urukundo inabibondo afitiye umwana wiwe ari ikintu cabonetse bivuye ku gutera imbere kwapfuye kwiyadukiza kw’ubwonko bw’igikoko gikwega inda hasi?

Rimbura iki kindi kintu gishoboka cosigura aho urukundo rukomoka. Bibiliya ivuga yuko abantu baremwe mw’ishusho y’Imana, ivyo bikaba bisobanura yuko baremanywe ubushobozi bwo kugaragaza kamere z’Imana. (Itanguriro 1:27) Kamere nyamukuru y’Imana ni urukundo. Intumwa Yohani yanditse ati: “Uwudakundana ntiyamenye Imana.” Uti kubera iki? “Kuko Imana ari urukundo.” (1 Yohani 4:8) Urabona yuko uwo murongo wo muri Bibiliya utavuga yuko Imana ifise urukundo, ahubwo uvuga yuko Imana ari urukundo. Imana ni yo Sôko ry’urukundo.

Bibiliya idondora urukundo muri ubu buryo: “Urukundo ruriyumanganya kandi rugira ubuntu. Urukundo ntirugira ishari, ntirwiyemera, ntirwishira hejuru, ntirwigenza ukutabereye, ntirurondera inyungu zarwo bwite, ntirukaza ishavu. Ntiruza ruraharura ikibi. Ntirunezererwa ukutagororoka, mugabo runezeranwa n’ukuri. Rurenzako muri vyose, rwemera vyose, rwizigira vyose, rwihanganira vyose. Urukundo ntirwigera runanirwa.” (1 Abakorinto 13:​4-8) Ubwo wumva vyoba vyumvikana kwemera yuko iyo kamere nziza cane kuruta izindi zose yabayeho ku gihamana?

Bituma wumva umerewe gute?

Igihe wariko urasoma ukuntu urukundo rwadondowe muri iyo ngingo iri aho haruguru, woba waciye wumva ugize icipfuzo gikomeye co kuronka umuntu yokugaragariza mwene urwo rukundo? Kugira icipfuzo nk’ico ni ikintu cumvikana cane. Uti kubera iki? Kubera yuko “turi uruvyaro rw’Imana.” (Ibikorwa 17:​29) Twaremwe mu buryo twipfuza kugaragarizwa no kugaragariza abandi mwene urwo rukundo. Kandi turashobora guhera amazinda yuko Imana idufitiye urukundo rugera kure. (Yohani 3:​16; 1 Petero 5:​6, 7) Ca canditswe casubirwamwo mu ntango z’iki kiganiro kivuga yuko urukundo Imana idufitiye rukomeye cane, eka mbere ko rumara igihe kinini kuruta urwo inabibondo agirira umwana wiwe.

Ariko rero woshobora kwibaza uti: ‘Nimba Imana ifise ubukerebutsi, ikagira ububasha kandi ikaba idukunda, ni kubera iki none idakuraho ibintu bituma abantu bacumukura? Ni kubera iki ireka abana bagapfa, abantu bakabandanya guhahazwa, kandi ikareka isi ikononwa bitumwe n’ugukoresha nabi ibiri kuri yo be n’umwina?’ Ivyo ni ibibazo vyumvikana bibereye kurondererwa inyishu zitomoye.

Naho abantu bakekeranya ko Imana ibaho boba bavuga ibiki, ivyo bibazo urashobora kubironkera inyishu zimara akanyota. Mu bihugu amajana n’amajana, abantu amamiliyoni bararonse izo nyishu mu kwiga Bibiliya babifashijwemwo n’Ivyabona vya Yehova. Abasohoye iki kinyamakuru baraguteye akamo ngo nawe ubigenze gutyo. Uko uzorushiriza ­kuronka ubumenyi bwerekeye Imana biciye ku kwiga Ijambo ryayo be no kwiga ibijanye n’ivyo yaremye, uzobona ko itari kure kandi ko kuyimenya ­bishoboka. Uzoshobora kujijuka ko Imana “itari kure y’umwe wese muri twebwe.”​—⁠Ibikorwa 17:​27.

[Iciyumviro ku rup. 8]

Urukundo Imana idufitiye rumara igihe kinini kuruta urwo inabibondo agirira umwana wiwe