Nugaragaze urukundo n’icubahiro mu gucungera ururimi rwawe

“Umuntu wese akunde umugore wiwe nk’uko yīkunda; umugore na we ni yubahe umugabo wiwe”.​—ABANYEFESO 5:33.

1, 2. Ni ikibazo gihambaye ikihe abubatse bose bakwiye kwibaza, kandi kubera iki?

DUFATE ko uhawe agakemanyi gashishiriwe hanyuma ukabwirwa ngo ugafate nk’amata y’abashitsi. None wogafata gute? Nta gukeka ko wokora uko ushoboye kwose kugira ngo ntuhave wonona ibirimwo. Tuvuge iki ku bijanye n’ingabirano y’ukwabirana?

² Wa mupfakazi w’Umwisirayelikazi Nawomi yabwiye ba bagore bakiri bato Orupa na Rusi ati: “Uhoraho abahe [“ingabirano”, NW] mwempi [muze m]usubir[e] kwubaka ingo mugire abagabo” (Rusi 1:3-9). Ku vyerekeye umukenyezi ameze neza, Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Urugo bo n’itunga umuntu abiragwa n’abavyeyi, arik’umugore aciye ubgenge amuhabga n’Uhoraho” (Imigani 19:14). Niba wubatse, ukwiye kubona ko uwo mwubakanye ari ingabirano yavuye ku Mana. None uriko ufata gute iyo ngabirano wahawe n’Imana?

3. Ni impanuro iyihe Paulo atanga abanega n’abakenyezi vyoba vyiza bumviye?

³ Intumwa Paulo yandikiye abakirisu bo mu kinjana ca mbere ati: “Umuntu wese akunde umugore wiwe nk’uko yīkunda; umugore na we ni yubahe umugabo wiwe” (Abanyefeso 5:33). Reka turabe ukuntu abanega n’abakenyezi bashobora gukurikiza iyo mpanuro mu vyo bavuga.

Nube maso ku bijanye n’ububi bugoye gucungera

4. Ururimi rushobora gute gukora ineza canke inabi?

⁴ Umwanditsi wa Bibiliya Yakobo avuga yuko ururimi ari “ububi bucambagirana”, ni ukuvuga bugoye gucungera, “[b]wuzuye ubumara bgica” (Yakobo 3:8). Yakobo yaratahura neza uku kuri guhambaye cane: Ururimi rudacungerewe rurasambura. Nta gukeka ko yari amenyereye umugani wo muri Bibiliya uvuga yuko amajambo asunitswe n’impwemu ameze nk’“ugucumita kw’inkota”. Uwo mugani nyene uravuga yuko “ururimi rw’abanyabgenge” rworwo ‘ruvura’ (Imigani 12:18). Vy’ukuri, amajambo umuntu avuga arashobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye cane. Arashobora kubabaza cane canke akavura. Mbega amajambo ubwira uwo mwubakanye atuma yumva amerewe gute? Hamwe womubaza ico kibazo nyene, mbega yokwishura gute?

5, 6. Ni ibintu ibihe bituma bamwebamwe batoroherwa no gucungera ururimi?

⁵ Mu gihe imvugo ibabaza yoba imaze kumenera mu mubano wanyu, murashobora kugira ico muhinduye maze ibintu bikagenda neza. Ariko rero, bisaba akigoro. Muti kubera iki? Kimwe coco, mutegerezwa kunyinyana n’umubiri munyagasembwa. Icaha twarazwe kiragira akosho kabi ku kuntu twiyumvira abandi no ku kuntu tubavugisha. Yakobo yanditse ati: “Umuntu wese adatsitara mu vy’avuga, aba ar’umuntu atunganye rwose, ashobora no kuganza umubiri wiwe wose”.​—Yakobo 3:2.

⁶ Turetse ukuba turi abanyagasembwa, ivyo umuntu yakuriyemwo mu muryango biragira ico bikoze mu vyo gukoresha nabi ururimi. Bamwebamwe usanga barerewe mu miryango aho abavyeyi bari abantu “banka kwuzura, . . . [“batigumya”, NW], [b’]inkazi” (2 Timoteyo 3:1-3). Akenshi, abana bakurira muri mwene iyo miryango na bo nyene usanga iyo bakuze bagaragaza mwene izo kamere mbi nyene. Ariko ntiwumve, kaba agasembwa dufise canke kuba tutahawe indero ishemeye, si vyo twoca twitwaza mu gukoresha imvugo ibabaza. Ariko rero, kuba dutahura ivyo biradufasha kubona igituma kuri bamwebamwe biba urugamba gucungera ururimi kugira ngo ntibavuge amajambo ababaza.

‘Niwiyambure ukuvuga abandi nabi’

7. Petero yashaka kuvuga iki igihe yahimiriza abakirisu ‘kwiyambura ukuvuga abandi nabi kwose’?

⁷ Mu gihe umwe mu bubakanye akoresha imvugo ibabaza, naho yoba abiterwa n’iki, bishobora kwerekana ko adakunda mugenziwe kandi ko atamwubaha. Birakwiriye rero kubona Petero yarahimirije abakirisu ‘kwiyambura ukuvuga abandi nabi kwose’ (1 Petero 2:1). Ijambo ry’ikigiriki ryahinduwe ngo “ukuvuga abandi nabi” risobanura ngo “imvugo yo gutukana”. Ririmwo iciyumviro co ‘gutera abantu amajambo’. Emwe, ivyo birerekana neza ingaruka ziterwa n’ururimi rugoye gucungera!

8, 9. Gukoresha imvugo yo gutukana bishobora kugira ingaruka izihe, kandi ni kubera iki abubakanye bakwiye kwirinda iyo mvugo?

⁸ Imvugo yo gutukana yoshobora gusa nk’aho ata co itwaye, ariko raba ibiba igihe umunega canke umukenyezi akoresheje mwene iyo mvugo. Kwita uwo mwubakanye ikijuju, ikinebwe canke umwikunzi ni nk’aho vyoba bisobanura yuko kamere ziwe zose zodondorwa muri iryo ijambo rimwe gusa, kandi uzi ukuntu rimukurako agashambara. Vy’ukuri ivyo birababaza cane. Tuvuge iki ku majambo yo kurenza urugero yo kwerekana utunenge tw’uwo mwubakanye? Tuvugishije ukuri, kuvuga ngo “Wewe wama imisi yose utevya ibintu” canke ngo “Wewe nta musi n’umwe wigera unyumviriza”, ubwo ntikuba ari ukurenza urugero? Mwene ayo majambo ntabura guca atuma nyene kuyabwirwa aca arondera kwisigura. Ivyo vyoheza bigatuma haba uguhazuka gukomeye.​—Yakobo 3:5.

⁹ Kubwirana amajambo yo gutukana bituma mu mubano hama ugukwegurana, kandi n’ivyo birashobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye. Mu Migani 25:24 havuga hati: “Wopfuma wībēra hanze, hak’ubana n’umugore w’ingāre mu nzu”. Ariko ntiwumve, ivyo birashobora kuvugwa no ku mugabo w’ingare canke w’umunyamahane. Igihe umunega canke umukenyezi avuga amajambo acumita, amaherezo ntibibura gutuma ubucuti bwabo butituka, kumbure bigatuma umwe muri abo abona ko adakundwa, canke mbere ko atanabereye gukundwa. Uca ubona rero yuko gucungera ururimi bihambaye. Ni gute none abubakanye borucungera?

‘Nufate ururimi’

10. Ni kubera iki gucungera ururimi bihambaye?

¹⁰ Muri Yakobo 3:8 havuga hati: “Ururimi nta muntu yoshobora kurugunda”. Naho ari ukwo, turakwiye kwihatira gufata ururimi rwacu. Muri Yakobo havuga kandi hati: ‘Umuntu ni yigira ngo [“arasenga”, NW], ntafate ururimi, ariko agahenda umutima wiwe, [“ugusenga”, NW] kw’uyo kuzoba ari ukw’ubusa’ (Yakobo 1:26; 3:2, 3). Ayo majambo arerekana yuko uburyo ukoresha ururimi atari ikintu co gufata minenegwe. Ntibigira ico bikoze gusa ku bucuti ufitaniye n’uwo mwubakanye, ariko biragira ico bikoze no ku bucuti ufitaniye na Yehova Imana.​—1 Petero 3:7.

11. Umuntu yoshobora gukora iki kugira ngo ukutumvikana ntiguhave kuvamwo uguhazuka gukomeye?

¹¹ Vyoba biranga ubukerebutsi witwararitse uburyo uvugisha uwo mwubakanye. Mu gihe habaye ibintu bituma imitwe ishuha, nugerageze gusukamwo mabisi. Rimbura ikintu kimwe cashikiye Isaka n’umukenyezi wiwe Rebeka dusanga mw’⁠Itanguriro 27:46–28:4. Hagira hati: ‘Rebeka [yaguma] abarira Isaka, ati Numva ndundumiwe ku bw’abo Bahetikazi, nopfuma mpfa! Hamwe Yakobo yorongora Umuhetikazi nka ba bandi, noba nkibereyeho iki?’. Nta na hamwe herekana ko Isaka yoba yararyagaguye Rebeka. Ahubwo riho, yararungitse umuhungu wabo Yakobo kuja kurondera umukenyezi atinya Imana, uwo biboneka ko atoteye intuntu Rebeka. Dufate ko hagati y’umunega n’umukenyezi wiwe habaye ukutumvikana. Guca umuntu ahindura gatoyi uburyo avuga, aho kuvuga ngo “wewe” akavuga “jewe”, birashobora gutuma ukutumvikana kudahambaye kutavamwo uguhazuka gukomeye. Nk’akarorero, aho kuvuga ngo “Wewe ntiwigera umarana umwanya nanje!”, ubona gute uvuze ngo “Jewe noshima ko twoza turamana umwanya munini gusumba”? Niwibande ku ngorane mufise, aho kuguma wibanda kuri uwo muntu gusa. Nurwanye agatima ko kurondera kumenya uwuri mw’ikosa n’uwutari mw’ikosa. Mu Baroma 14:19 hagira hati: “Dukurikire ivy’amahoro n’ivyo gukomezanya”.

Niwikuremwo ‘umururazi, ukujingitwa n’uburake’

12. Kugira ngo ducungere ururimi, ni igiki dukwiye gusenga dusaba, kandi kubera iki?

¹² Gucungera ururimi ntibisobanura gusa kwiyubara mu vyo tuvuga. Ku bwa ngingo, amajambo tuvuga ava mu mutima, ntava mu kanwa. Yezu yavuze ati: “Umunyangeso nziza akūra ivyiza mw itunga ryiza ryo mu mutima wiwe, n’umunyangeso mbi akūra ibibi mw itunga ribi: ibibōgabōga mu mutima ni vyo akanwa kiwe kavuga” (Luka 6:45). Ku bw’ivyo, kugira ngo ucungere ururimi rwawe, hari aho vyokenerwa ko usenga nka Dawidi uti: “Mana, undememw’umutima utunganye: unsubizemw’umutima uhamye”.​—Zaburi 51:10.

13. Umururazi, ukujingitwa n’uburake bishobora gute gushikana umuntu ku gutukana?

¹³ Paulo ntiyahimirije Abanyefeso kwirinda gusa kuvuga amajambo ababaza, ariko kandi yabahimirije no kwirinda inyiyumvo zituma umuntu avuga mwene ayo majambo. Yanditse ati: “Umururazi wose no kujingitwa n’uburake no gutongana no gutukana bibavemwo, hamwe n’inzigo yose” (Abanyefeso 4:31). Urabona yuko Paulo yabanje kuvuga “umururazi . . . no kujingitwa n’uburake”, imbere y’uko avuga ivyo “gutongana no gutukana”. Uburake bubiragira mu muntu ni bwo usanga bushobora gutuntumukamwo imvugo ibabaza. Rero, niwibaze uti: ‘Noba mbika mu mutima umururazi n’uburake? Noba ndi umuntu “akunda kuraka?”’ (Imigani 29:22, NW). Niba vy’ukuri ari ukwo vyifashe, nusenge Imana uyisaba ngo igufashe gutsinda izo mpengamiro no kwigumya kugira ngo ushobore gutsinda iryo shavu. Muri Zaburi 4:4 havuga hati: “[“Mushuhe umutwe, ariko”, NW] ntimukore icaha: mucuragize mu mitima yanyu muri ku mariri, mucereje”. Mu gihe ubonye ko imitsi ishobora kuranda, maze ukaba wohava ubura ukwigumya, nukurikize iyi nkeburo dusanga mu Migani 17:14 igira iti: “Reka ibirake utarasinda”. Numere nk’uwubizibukira gatoyi gushika ubonye ko ata ngeramizi ikihari.

14. Kubika inzika bishobora gute kugira ico bikoze ku mubano w’abubatse?

¹⁴ Ntivyoroshe gutsinda uburake n’ishavu, na canecane igihe biba bitewe n’ivyo Paulo yise “umururazi”. Ijambo ry’ikigiriki Paulo yakoresheje ng’aho ryasiguwe yuko ryerekana “agatima k’inzika kanka gusubiza hamwe” be n’‘umutima mubi uguma wibuka amakosa’. Rimwe na rimwe, hagati y’umunega n’umukenyezi wiwe haraba icuka kibi, kandi ivyo vyoshobora kumara igihe kirekire. Igihe akagorane kataratorerwa umuti, vyoshobora kuvamwo akagaye n’umutima mubi. Yamara, kubika inzika kubera amakosa yakozwe kera nta co bimaze. Akaba, kaba karabaye. Igihe umuntu yahariye uwundi ikosa, akwiye guca avyibagira. Urukundo “ntiruguma rurimbura ikibi rwakorewe”.​—1 Ab’i Korinto 13:4, 5, NW.

15. Ni igiki cofasha abafise akamenyero ko kuvuga amajambo yo kuryagagura abandi guhindura iyo mvugo yabo?

¹⁵ Bite ho mu gihe kuryagagura abandi vyari akamenyero mu muryango wakuriyemwo, kandi nawe bikaba bisigaye ari vyo ukunda kugira? Urashobora kugira ivyo uhinduye. Uramaze kwishingira uturimbi mu mice y’ubuzima itari mike ku buryo udashobora na gato gukora ikintu kinaka. None mu vyo uvuga ni hehe uzohitamwo gushinga akarimbi k’aho utorenga? Woba uzoca wigarura utaratangura kuvuga amajambo yo gutukana? Vyoba vyiza ukurikije akarimbi kavugwa mu Banyefeso 4:29, ahagira hati: “Ntihaze hagire ibiyāgo bibi biva mu kanwa kanyu”. Ivyo bisaba ko ‘wiyambura umuntu wa kera n’ibikorwa vyiwe, ukambara umuntu musha, ahindurwa musha ngo agire ubwenge, amere nk’ishusho y’Iyamuremye’.​—Ab’i Kolosayi 3:9, 10.

“Ikiyago c’akabanga” ni ngombwa

16. Ni kubera iki igihe umunega canke umukenyezi ahisemwo kuguma yinumiye bishobora kwonona umubano wabo?

¹⁶ Igihe umunega canke umukenyezi ahisemwo kuguma yinumiye usanga ata kintu kinini bivamwo, ahubwo riho birashobora kugira ingaruka mbi. Igihe bibaye gutyo, ntivyama na ntaryo bisobanura yuko aba ariko arahana mugenziwe, kubera ko ukwo kunuma gushobora kuba kwatewe n’ukuvunika umutima canke ugucika intege. Yamara, kureka kuvugisha uwundi bituma imitsi irushiriza kuranda, kandi usanga ata kintu kinini bifasha mu gutorera umuti ingorane muba mufise. Umukenyezi umwe yavuze ati: “Igihe dusubiye kuyaga, aho kuyaga ivya nya ngorane ngo tuyitorere umuti, ica iba nk’akamizwe n’ingoma”.

17. Abakirisu bari n’ingorane itesha umutwe mu mubano wabo bakwiye gukora iki?

¹⁷ Igihe hagati y’umugore n’umugabo hagumye hari ukutumvikana, inzira rudende yo kubitorera umuti ni iyikurikira. Mu Migani 15:22 havuga hati: “Ahatagira [“ikiyago c’akabanga”, NW] imigabo irapfa, ariko mu bajanama benshi irakomera”. Urakwiye kwicarana n’uwo mwubakanye maze mukayaga ivy’iyo ngorane. Uko bishoboka kwose, nutege yompi uwo mwubakanye ubigiranye umutima ukunze. Niba ubona ivyo bisa n’ibidashoboka, ubona gute mubibwiye abakurambere bo mw’ishengero? Abakurambere usanga bafise ubumenyi bwo mu Vyanditswe kandi bazi utuntu n’utundi mu vyo gushira mu ngiro ingingo ngenderwako zo muri Bibiliya. Abo bagabo bameze nk’“aho kwikinga umuyaga, n’ubgugamwo bg’ikirura”.​—Yesaya 32:2.

Urashobora gutsinda urugamba

18. Ni urugamba uruhe ruvugwa mu Baroma 7:18-23?

¹⁸ Gufata ururimi rwacu ni urugamba. Ni ko biri no ku bijanye n’ugucungera ivyo dukora. Intumwa Paulo yarasiguye urugamba yarwanye, mu kwandika ati: “Ndazi yuko muri jewe, mu kameremere kanje, ata ciza kimbamwo: kuko kugomba gukora iciza kubana nanje, ariko kugikora nta kwo. Kukw iciza ngomba atari co nkora, arikw ikibi ntagomba akaba ari co nkora. Ariko ko nkora ico ntagomba, si jewe ngikora, ariko n’icaha kimbamwo”. Kubera ‘ikitugera c’icaha kiri mu mibiri yacu’, duhengamiye ku gukoresha nabi ururimi rwacu be n’ibindi bihimba vy’umubiri (Abaroma 7:18-23). Yamara rero, dutegerezwa kurwana iyo ntambara, kandi turashobora kuyitsinda tubifashijwemwo n’Imana.

19, 20. Akarorero ka Yezu gashobora gute gufasha abanega n’abakenyezi gufata ururimi rwabo?

¹⁹ Ahari ubucuti burangwa urukundo n’icubahiro, nta majambo asunitswe n’impwemu kandi yo kuryagagura abandi ahabarizwa. Zirikana ku karorero Yezu Kirisitu yatanze ku bijanye n’ivyo. Yezu ntiyigeze akoresha imvugo yo gutuka abigishwa biwe. No muri rya joro rya nyuma uwo Mwana w’Imana yamaze ngaha kw’isi, igihe intumwa ziwe zariko ziharira ku woba ari we mukuru muri zo, ntiyabaryagaguye (Luka 22:24-27). Bibiliya ihanura abanega iti: “Bagabo, mukunde abagore banyu, nk’uko Kristo na we yakunze ishengero, akaryigura”.​—Abanyefeso 5:25.

²⁰ Bite ho ku mukenyezi? Arakwiye ‘kwubaha umugabo wiwe’ (Abanyefeso 5:33). Umukenyezi yubaha umunega wiwe yoba yomutonganya, akamutuka? Paulo yanditse ati: “Ndagomba ko mumenya k’umutwe w’umugabo wese ari Kristo, kandi k’umutwe w’umugore ar’umugabo, kandi k’umutwe wa Kristo ar’Imana” (1 Ab’i Korinto 11:3). Umukenyezi ategerezwa kugamburukira umutwe wiwe nka kurya nyene Kirisitu agamburukira Umutwe wiwe (Ab’i Kolosayi 3:18). Naho ata muntu w’umunyagasembwa ashobora kwigana Yezu ata gahaze, abanega n’abakenyezi bihatiye “[kugera] ikirenge mu ciwe” bizobafasha gutsinda urwo rugamba barimwo rwo kwirinda gukoresha nabi ururimi.​—1 Petero 2:21.

Wize iki?

• Ururimi rudacungerewe neza rushobora gute kwonona umubano w’abubatse?

• Ni kubera iki ururimi rugoye gucungera?

• Ni igiki kidufasha gucungera ivyo tuvuga?

• Ni ibintu ibihe ukwiye gukora igihe mu mubano wanyu habaye ingorane itesha umutwe?

[Ifoto ku rup. 24]

Abakurambere baratanga imfashanyo ishingiye kuri Bibiliya