Umuryango—Urakwiye Kwihutirwa!

“KANDI igihe cose inyuma yaho babayeho mu buhirwe.” Imibano imererwa neza gutyo itera igabanuka muri ino misi. Za ndagano abantu bagira zo gukundana ‘mu mahirwe no mu magorwa’ igihe cose bazomara ari bazima, kenshi zikunda kuba izo mu majambo gusa. Gushobora kugira umuryango muhire bisa n’ibishoboka kw itombora uravye intambamyi zihari.

Hagati yo mu 1960 no mu 1990, ibitigiri vy’abahukana vyarongerekanye kurenza incuro zibiri mu bihugu vyinshi vy’i Buraya biteye imbere. Mu bihugu bimwebimwe vyongerekanye incuro zine. Nk’akarorero, buri mwaka imibano nk’35 000 y’abubatse irashingwa mu Busuwedi, hanyuma nk’ica kabiri cayo ikazosambuka, bikagira ico bikoze ku bana barenga 45 000. Ababana batabiranye baratandukana ku rugero runini kuruta, bikagirira nabi abandi bana ibihumbi mirongo. Impengamiro nk’iyo iriko iribonekeza mu bihugu vyo kw isi yose, nk’uko ushobora kubibona mu ruzitiro rwo ku rupapuro 5.

Ni vyo, ivy’imiryango isambuka canke imibano ihagarara si bishasha mu nkuru z’ivyabaye. Icegeranyo c’Amategeko ca Hammurabi co mu kinjana ca 18 B.G.C. carimwo n’amategeko yemera ivy’ukwahukana i Babiloni. Ivyagezwe vya Musa na vyone, ivyashinzwe mu kinjana ca 16 B.G.C., vyaratanga uruhusha rw’ukwahukana muri Isirayeli. (Gusubira mu Vyagezwe 24:1) Ariko rero, ubucuti bwunze imiryango ntaho bwari bwigere bugoyagoya kuruta uko biri muri iki kinjana ca 20. Ubu haraciye imyaka irenga cumi umunyamakuru umwe yanditse ati: “Mu myaka 50 iri imbere, hari aho tutoshobora kuronka n’imiryango na mikeyi imeze nk’uko vyamye kera. Ishobora kuzoba yasubiriwe n’iyigizwe n’imigwi y’abantu yo mu buryo butandukanye.” Kandi kuva ico gihe impengamiro ihari isa n’iyemeza ico ciyumviro ciwe. Urwego rw’umuryango rwarononekaye vyihuta ku buryo iki kibazo ngo “[Umuryango] woba uzorokoka?” kiriko kirushirizaho kuba igikeneye inyishu.

Ni kuki abubakanye benshi batoroherwa no kugumana akaramata be no kuguma bagize umuryango wunze ubumwe? Mbega abashoboye kuguma babana akaramata igihe kirekire c’ubuzima bwabo, bagahimbaza mu gahimbare imyaka 25 na 50 bamaranye bubakanye, bo vyabashobokeye gute? Vyarigeze gushika mu 1983 umugabo n’umugore bo muri repubulika yahoze iri mu Basovyeti y’i Azerbaijan, barahimbaza umwaka wabo ugira 100 bamaze babiranye—umugabo akaba yari amaze imyaka 126 umugore na we 116.

Umuryango Uhanamiwe n’Iki?

Mu bihugu vyinshi impamvu zimwezimwe zituma haba ukwahukana biciye mu mategeko ni ukurenga ibigo, ugukorerwa amabi ku mutima no ku mubiri, ukwomoka kw’umwe, akaborerwe, ukutabasha, ubusazi, uguharika hamwe n’ukwizizirwa n’ibiyayuramutwe. Ariko rero, impamvu ikunda kubituma ni uko agatima nyamukuru abantu bagira ku vyerekeye umubano w’abubatse hamwe n’umuryango wo mu buryo bwa kera kahindutse buhere, na canecane mu myaka mirongo iheruka. Icubahiro cahabwa urwego rwabonwa ko ari rweranda kuva na kera ubu carabunzwe. Abahingurana umwina imiziki, amasenema, ibikino vy’inkurikirane vyo kuri televiziyo hamwe n’ibitabu bikundwa na benshi bashize hejuru ivyiswe umwidegemvyo mu vy’ukwimara inambu y’umubiri, ubushegabo, ingeso ziteye isoni, hamwe n’uburyo bwo kubaho burangwa n’ukwikunda. Baratsimbataje imico yahavuye yonona imizirikanyi n’imitima vy’abato hamwe n’abakuze nyene.

Hari itohoza ryagizwe mu 1996 ryerekanye yuko Abanyamerika 22 kw ijana bavuga ko ukwiryamanira n’uwo mutubakanye hari igihe bishobora kubera vyiza umubano w’abubatse. Hariho inomero imwe idasanzwe y’ikinyamakuru co mu bikomakomeye vyo mu Busuwedi citwa Aftonbladet yahimirije abagore kwahukana kubera ko “ari vyo vyoba vyiza kuruta.” Abihweza ivy’imico kama hamwe n’abihweza ivy’abantu, bariyumviriye mbere yuko umugabo yoba “yarashizwemwo” n’umuhindaguriko ivy’ukuja arahindura umugore uko imyaka mikeyi itashe. Mu yandi majambo, bashaka kuvuga yuko ngo ukurenga ibigo hamwe n’ukwahukana ari indemanwa. Hari n’abavuga yuko ukwahukana kw’abavyeyi bishobora kubera abana vyiza, bikabategurira kuzomenya uko bavyifatamwo umusi na bo bahukanye!

Abakiri bato benshi ntibacipfuza kuba mu muryango umeze nk’uko wamye kuva na kera, uwugizwe na senaka, nyina, n’abana. Iciyumviro abantu bakunda ni iki ngo: “Simbona ko noshobora kumara ubuzima bwanje bwose mbana na wawundi nyene.” Umuhungu w’umuyabaga w’imyaka 18 y’amavuka wo muri Danemarike, yavuze ati: “Umubano w’abubatse umeze nka Noweli, ni akagani kanezereye gusa. Emwe, sindawemera.” Noreen Byrne wo mu Nama y’Abagore y’Igihugu yo muri Irlande yavuze ati: “Uko bavyiyumvamwo, ngo ntibabona ingene bokwirigwa baribabaza babana n’[abagabo] bongera babamesurira amashesheti. Nusohokane na bo mwikinire gusa . . . Abagore benshi babona yuko badakeneye abagabo kugirango babeho.”

Ingo Zifiswe n’Umuvyeyi Umwe Zitera Zongerekana

Mu Buraya hose iyo nyifato yatumye abagore bavyara batari ku bagabo bongerekana ningoga. Bamwe muri abo bavyeyi barera abana batari ku bagabo usanga ari imiyabaga bibaza yuko ugutwara inda umuntu adashaka atari ikosa. Bake muri bo ni abagore bashaka kwirerana abana babo. Benshi ni abavyeyi babana igihe gitoyi n’abagabo, ata migambi namba bafise yo kwubakana na bo. Ku mwaka uheze, ikinyamakuru Newsweek carashikirije ikiganiro kuri iki kibazo ngo “Mbega Umubano w’Abubatse Uriko Urapfa?” Cavuze yuko abana b’ibitwarire bariko bongerekana ningoga i Buraya, kandi ngo bisa n’uko ata wubinezwe. Ubusuwedi bushobora kuba ari co gihugu ca mbere, aho usanga ica kabiri c’abana ari ab’ibitwarire. Muri Danemarike na Noroveji baregereza ica kabiri, mu Bufaransa no mu Bwongereza na ho bakaba ari nka 1 kuri 3.

Muri Reta Zunze Ubumwe, imiryango ifiswe n’abavyeyi babiribabiri yaragabanutse biteye ubwoba mu myaka mirongo iheruka. Hari raporo imwe ivuga iti: “Mu 1960, . . . 9 kw ijana mu bana bose bari ababa mu ngo zifiswe n’umuvyeyi umwe. Mu 1990, ico gitigiri cari caduze gushika kuri 25 kw ijana. Muri iki gihe, 27,1 kw ijana mu bana bose b’Abanyamerika bavukira mu ngo zifiswe n’umuvyeyi umwe, ico gitigiri kikaba kiguma congerekana. . . . Guhera mu 1970, igitigiri c’imiryango ifise umuvyeyi umwe carongerekanye kurenza incuro zibiri. Uko abashakashatsi bamwebamwe babivuga, umuryango umeze nk’uko wamye kuva na kera urahanamiwe cane muri iki gihe ku buryo woba ugeze ku munwa w’icobo.”

Mu bihugu Ekeleziya Gatolika ya Roma yatakaje igice kinini c’ububasha yari ifise bwo gushinga amategeko y’ivy’ukwigenza runtu, imiryango ifiswe n’umuvyeyi umwe iriko irongerekana. Ingo z’Abataliyano ziri munsi y’ica kabiri ni zo zigizwe na nyina, se, hamwe n’abana, kandi umuryango umeze nk’uko wamye kuva na kera uriko urasubirirwa n’ababanye batagira abana hamwe n’ingo zifiswe n’umuvyeyi umwe.

Mu bihugu bimwebimwe ivyo kurondera ukumererwa neza mu vy’ukuri biremesha abantu kutubaka. Abagore barera abana ari bonyene bahabwa imfashanyo na Reta boshobora kuyibura mu gihe boba barongowe. Abagore barera abana ari bonyene muri Danemarike barongerwa ibirezo, mu ducimbiri tumwetumwe na ho abavyeyi b’abagore bamaze imyaka iri munsi ya 18 bakongerwa amahera, bakanarihirwa inzu. Uca wumva ko harimwo n’ivy’amahera. Alf B. Svensson avuga yuko ukwahukana mu Busuwedi gutwara abariha amakori amadolari ari hagati y’ibihumbi 250 n’ibihumbi 375 atangirwa ibisumwa, amafaranga yo kuriha inzu, hamwe n’imfashanyo ihabwa abanyagihugu.

Amakeleziya y’Abitwa Abakirisu asa n’ayakora gito canke ntakore na kimwe ngo agerageze guhindura iyo mpengamiro y’ibintu isangwa mu miryango. Abapasitori benshi hamwe n’abakuru b’idini banigana n’ingorane imiryango yabo irimwo, bigatuma bumva badashoboye gufasha abandi. Hari mbere n’abasa n’abashigikira ivy’ukwahukana. Ikinyamakuru Aftonbladet co ku wa 15 Ndamukiza 1996 cavuze yuko pasitori Steven Allen w’i Bradford mu Bwongereza yatunganije ibirori bidasanzwe vy’ukwahukana, avuga yuko bikwiye kuba ibirori vy’ukwahukana vyokoreshwa mu masengero yose yo mu Bwongereza. Ngo “Ni ibirori vyo gukiza bifasha umuntu kuruhuka ivyabashikiye. Birabafasha gutahura yuko Imana ikibakunda, kandi bikabakiza akababaro.”

None urwego rw’umuryango rwerekeje hehe? Hoba hariho icizigiro c’uko umuryango uzorokoka? Imiryango, umwumwe wose ukwawo, yoba ishobora kuzigama ubumwe bwayo kandi ihanamiwe cane gutyo? Turakwinginze ngo urimbure ikiganiro gikurikira.

[Igicapo ku rup. 5]

IMIBANO ISHINGWA KU MWAKA IGERERANIJWE N’UKWAHUKANA MU BIHUGU BIMWEBIMWE

IGIHUGU UMWAKA IMIBANO UKWAHUKANA

Allemagne 1993 442 605 156 425

Australie 1993 113 255 48 324

Canada 1992 164 573 77 031

Cuba 1992 191 837 63 432

Danemark 1993 31 507 12 991

Estonie 1993 7 745 5 757

États-Unis 1993 2 334 000 1 187 000

Fédération Russe 1993 1 106 723 663 282

France 1991 280 175 108 086

Japon 1993 792 658 188 297

Moldavie 1991 4 065 2 659

Norvège 1993 19 464 10 943

Porto Rico 1992 34 222 14 227

République Tchèque 1993 66 033 30 227

Royaume Uni 1992 356 013 174 717

Suède 1993 34 005 21 673

(Bifatiye ku gitabu Demographic Yearbook co mu 1994, c’Ishirahamwe Mpuzamakungu, New York 1996)