Ikigabane c’8
Uruhara Rwega Mwebwe Abavyeyi
1-3. (a) Ivuka ry’uruyoya rishobora kugira iki ku bavyeyi? (b) Ni kuki ari nkenerwa ko se na nyina w’abana batahura uruhara rwega umuvyeyi umwe wese muri bo?
MU BUZIMA bwacu hariho ibintu vyinshi ata co bigira rwose kuri twebwe. Hariho ibindi bifise rwose ico bitugira kandi mu gihe kirekire. Biragaragara ko ivuka ry’umwana ari kimwe muri ivyo bifise ico bitugira. Tuvuze ivy’umunega n’umukenyezi wiwe, ntibazokwigera basubira kubaho nk’uko bari babayeho. Naho uyo muntu mushasha aje mu rugo ari mutoyi rwose, arasohora ijwi abavyeyi bakumva ko ari ho ari, ku buryo ata woshobora kumwirengagiza.
2 Ubuzima bw’abo bavyeyi bworushirije kuba uburimwo akarusho n’agahimbare. Mugabo ni ukurwana intambara, kandi ntibotsinda badafashanije bompi uko ari babiri. Kugira ngo uyo mwana abeho murinda kuba babiri, kandi kuva akivuka, umwe wese muri mwebwe ivy’ukumukuza arabifisemwo uruhara runini. Gufashanya vy’ukuri mushize hamwe—kandi mwicisha bugufi—ntivyari bwigere bikenerwa rwose nko muri ico gihe.
3 Mutahuye uruhara rwega umwe wese muri mwebwe mugatahura n’ukuntu rushobora kujana n’urw’uwundi, vyobafasha rwose uwo mwana wanyu avutse mukamuronsa ivyo akeneye, bikazovamwo ivyiza. Ukugira ivyiyumviro biri ku rugero birakenewe. Naho mugerageza kugira ivyiyumviro biroranye, akanyengetera karakunda gutuma ivy’ukwiyumvīra biri ku rugero bizimangana. Turashobora kwama dushaka kurenza urugero mu kugira ikintu tubobotereza, canke tugakavya, hanyuma tugasubira kubobotereza. Birakenewe ko serugo ategeka, mugabo arengeje urugero, aba abaye intwazamukazo. Birabereye ko nyina w’ibibondo na we nyene arera kandi agahana abana, mugabo iryo banga arirangūye se w’abana atarimwo, vyokwonona ukuntu ivy’ukubana mu rugo bitunganijwe. Iciza ni iciza, mugabo iciza kirashobora kuba kibi iyo kirenze urugero.—Ab’i Filipi 4:5.
URUHARA RUHAMBAYE RWEGA NYINA W’IBIBONDO
4. Bimwe bimwe mu vyo umwana akivuka akeneye ko nyina amugirira ni ibihe?
4 Ivyo uruyoya rukenera harya rukivuka, vyose rubihabwa na nyina. Iyo aruronkeje ivyo bintu rukeneye n’urukundo, rurumva ko rutekanye. (Zaburi 22:9, 10) Rutegerezwa kugaburirwa neza, rukuhagirwa kandi bakarurinda imbeho; mugabo ruronse ivyo bintu vy’umubiri rukeneye ntibiba bihagije. N’ivy’akanyengetera rukeneye kwiyumvamwo si ivy’ugufata minenegwe na gato. Iyo uruyoya rudakundwa, ntirushobora gutekana. Nyina w’ibibondo arashobora kumenya adatevye ukuntu ico kintu ca nkenerwa gihambaye ku mwana wiwe, igihe uyo mwana ariko arondera ko hagira uwuza kumurāba. Iyo aguma arira mugabo ntihagire ūvyitaho, arashobora kurwara. Iyo batamweretse urukundo hagahera igihe kitari gito, arashobora kwononekara mu mutima ubuzima bwiwe bwose.
5-7. Turāvye ibiheruka gutohozwa, urukundo rw’umuvyeyi nyina w’ibibondo hamwe n’ukwitwararika umwana akivuka bigira iki kuri uyo mwana?
5 Abābitohoje mu mihingo myinshi kandi idasa bemeje ibi bikurikira: Abana bakivuka iyo bataberetse urukundo mu kubavugisha, mu kubakuyakuya, mu kubashishitira no mu kubasimbagiza, bararwara ndetse n’ugupfa bagapfa. (Gereranya no muri Yesaya 66:12; mw ikete rya 1 ku b’i Tesalonike 2:7.) Naho ivyo n’abandi bantu boshobora kubigira, ivy’uko umuvyeyi yamutwaye inda akamwibaruka agatako akamwonsa mu mezi ya mbere y’ukubaho kwiwe ari we mu bisanzwe abereye kubigira, ntibihāririrwa. Ukuntu Imana yabiremye, hariho ivyo umuvyeyi n’umwana bagiriranira. Agatima umuvyeyi yaremanywe k’uguca yiyegereza ikibondo ahejeje kwibaruka, gahuje n’agatima umwana yaremanywe k’ukurondera ibere.
6 Abābitohoje bavuga ko ubwonko bw’uruyoya bukora rwose, kandi ko ubwenge bwiwe bwongerekana iyo bwa bubasha bw’ukwumva ikimukozeko, kwumva n’amatwi, kubona no kumoterwa, buriko burakomera. Igihe umwana ariko aronka, arumva ivyuya vya nyina n’ubwaku bw’umubiri wiwe. Asa n’uwuguma arāba nyina mu maso iyo ariko aramwonsa. Ntiyumva ijwi rya nyina vyonyene iyo ariko aramuvugisha canke iyo atereye mw ijwi amuhoza, arumva n’ukuntu umutima utera, akaba yahora awumva igihe yari akiri mu nda. Mu gitabu kimwe co mu gihugu ca Norovēje, hariho umuhanga atohoza ivyerekeye kamere y’abana, Anne-Marit Duve, yanditse ibi bikurikira:
“Kubera ko ivyo abana b’ishure bakora bigaragaza neza ukuntu ubwonko bukora, bituma twemera yuko ugukazwa kw’urukoba rw’umubiri bimwe bikomeye, ugukoranako kw’imibiri bimwe vy’ukuri—tutibagiye kwa gukoranako kw’imibiri mu gihe c’ukwonka—bishobora gukaza ukuntu ubwonko bukora, bigatuma umwana azogira ubwenge bwinshi amaze gukura.”
7 Nuko rero iyo uruyoya ruguma rwumva nyina arukorakora igihe aruterura, igihe arusimbagiza canke igihe arwoza n’igihe arukamutsa, ugukaburwa kw’umubiri kuba ico gihe kuri n’ico kuvuze rwose ku vyerekeye ugukura kwarwo hamwe n’ukuntu ubuzima bwarwo buzomera mu nyuma. Naho kuvyuka mw Ijoro ugahoza umwana ariko ararira bidatera umunezero, kumenya ko bizogira akamaro mu nyuma bituma wumva ko naho ucikije itiro ata co bitwaye na gato.
KWIGA GUKUNDANA KUBERA UGUKUNDWA
8-10. (a) Ni igiki umwana akivuka yigira ku rukundo rwa nyina wiwe? (b) Ni kuki ivyo ari nkenerwa?
8 Ugukundwa kw’uruyoya ni nkenerwa rwose kugira ngo rukure mu vy’akanyengetera. Rwiga gukundana kubera ugukundwa, kubera ukubona uburorero bw’ivy’urukundo. Muri 1 Yohani 4:19 haravuga ivy’urukundo dukunda Imana hati: “Tugira urukundo kuko ari yo yabanje kudukunda.” Ubwa mbere na mbere uwigisha umwana ivy’ugukundana, cane cane ni nyina wiwe. Arunama kugira ashikīre aho uruyoya ruryamye, agashira ukuboko mu gikiriza carwo akarunyiganyiza buhoro buhoro mu maso harwo n’ahiwe vyegeranye rwose, ati ‘ndakubona! ndakubona!’ Birumvikana ko urwo ruyoya ayo majambo rutayategēra (agasangwa nta n’ico asobanura vy’ukuri). Mugabo rurihotagura kandi rukanihagira kubera umunezero, kuko rutāhūra ko ukwo kuboko kurukinisha n’iryo jwi, mu vy’ukuri biriko birubwira biti ‘ndagukunda! ndagukunda!’ Rurahumurizwa rukumva ruratekanye.
9 Abana bakivuka n’abamaze imisi bavutse iyo baberetse urukundo birabashimisha, hanyuma bakigana ivy’ukwo gukundwa na bo nyene bakarwerekana, mu gushira utuboko twabo ku gikanu ca nyina, bakamusoma bashwashwanutse. Barahimbarwa n’uko uyo nyina wabo aca yiyumvamwo akanyengetera k’ikibabarwe. Baba batanguye icigwa ca nkenerwa c’uko haba agahimbare iyo umuntu yerekanye urukundo canke iyo akundwa; ic’uko iyo bakunze, na bo barakundwa. (Ivyakozwe n’intumwa 20:35; Luka 6:38) Ibihora biba vyerekana yuko igihe hatabaye ugushikirana kw’umwana na nyina kuva uyo mwana akiri muto rwose, mu nyuma amaze kwigira haruguru hari aho bitamworohera gushikirana rwose n’abandi canke kugira amasezerano afashe.
10 Kubera ko abana batangura kwiga harya bakivuka, imyaka ya mbere ni kirumara rwose. Ico gihe, urukundo rwa nyina w’umwana ni nkenerwa rwose. Ashoboye ivy’ukumwereka urukundo no kurumwigisha—ntamufyinishe—arashobora kugira iciza kizomara igihe kirekire; bimunaniye na ho, arashobora kuba agize ikibi kitazohera. Kuba nyina w’abana ameze neza, ni kimwe mu bintu bitoroheye umukenyezi kubishitsa, ariko birimwo impēra. Naho bigoye kandi bisaba gukora cane, ni “umwuga” uwuhe wo muri iyi si uri n’ico umaze kandi utera umunezero wamaho gutyo?
URUHARA RUHAMBAYE RWA SE W’IBIBONDO
11. (a) Se w’ibibondo yokwinjiza ate ivyerekeye uruhara rumwega mu bwenge bw’umwana? (b) Ni kuki ivyo ari nkenerwa rwose?
11 Birumvikana ko nyina w’abana ari we afise uruhara runini rwose mu buzima bw’umwana, harya akiri muto rwose. Mugabo uhēreye igihe avutse, se na we nyene akwiye kujamwo mu bagize isi abamwo. Ndetse n’igihe umwana akiri muto rwose, se na we nyene arashobora kandi aranategerejwe kugumana n’umwana rimwe rimwe, akamukinisha, akamuhoza iyo ariko ararira. Abigenjeje gutyo, umwana aca aja aramwiyumvīra. Uruhara rwega se w’umwana rukwiye kuja rurarushiriza kuba runini, uko igihe gihera. Arindiriye igihe kirekire rwose imbere y’uko atangura, hari aho vyoba intango y’ingorane zizokwibonekeza cane cane uyo mwana amaze kuba umuyabaga, ivy’ukumutoza indero bigaca bigorana. Cane cane umwana w’umuhungu akiri umuyabaga hari aho usanga akeneye se. Ariko iyo ata mwumvikano bāgiraniye kuva mu ntango, umukokwe umaze imyaka ntawoshobora kuwufurira mu mishamvu mikeyi.
12, 13. (a) Uruhara rwega se w’abana mu rugo ni uruhe? (b) Se w’abana arangūye amabanga ajejwe mu buryo butunganye, bishobora kugira iki kuri abo bana ku vyerekeye ukuntu bazobona ivy’ubukuru?
12 Niba umwana ari umuhungu canke umukobwa, kamere nziza z’umuntu w’umugabo na zo nyene zirashobora rwose kugira ico zigira mu vy’ukumugira umuntu akuze koko, afise ivyiyumviro biri ku rugero. Ijambo ry’Imana ryerekana ko se w’abana ari we kizigenza mu rugo. Ni we ajejwe ibanga ry’ukurondera ibitunga abo mu rugo. (1 Ab’i Korinto 11:3; 1 Timoteyo 5:8) Naho ari uko, ‘umuntu ntatungwa n’ivyokurya gusa, ariko atungwa n’amajambo yose ava mu kanwa ka Yehova.’ Se w’ibibondo, ku vyerekeye abana biwe, yategetswe ‘kubarera, abahana, abacisha ubwenge mu vya Yehova.’ (Gusubira mu vyagezwe 8:3, NW; Abanyefeso 6:4, NW) Naho ivyo yobitumwa na kamere yaremanywe y’ukugirira igishika uruvyaro rwiwe, cane cane kumenya yuko afise ico azobazwa n’Umuremyi ni vyo vyotuma akora uko ashoboye kugira arangūre iryo banga Imana yamushinze.
13 Turetse ugushwashwanuka, ikibabarwe n’imbabazi nyina w’ibibondo yerekana, se w’abana arashobora gutuma urugo ruguma, mu kururongōra bimwe bifashe kandi biranga ubukerebutsi. Uburyo arangūra igikorwa Imana yamushinze birashobora kugira ico bigira ku vyerekeye ukuntu abana biwe mu nyuma bazobona ivy’ubukuru, ubw’abantu canke ubw’Imana, ko boba bazobwubahiriza, canke ko bazoshobora gukora barongōwe n’uwundi muntu ntibashavure canke ngo bagararize.
14. Akarorero keza se w’abana atanga gashobora kugira iki ku mwana wiwe w’umuhungu canke w’umukobwa?
14 Serugo ni yaba afise umwana w’umuhungu, akarorero amuha n’uburyo agira ibintu, birashobora kwerekana ko uwo mwana azokura akagira inguvu canke ntazigire, ko azoshinga ingingo ikaguma canke ntigume, ko azoba umugabo canke ntamube, ko azoba canke atazoba umuguruguru, ko azotinya canke atazotinya mu vyo abona ko bibereye, ko azorangūra canke atazorangūra amabanga ajejwe n’umutima ukunze. Hari ico vyogira ku vyerekeye uburyo uwo muhungu azomera ni yubaka urwiwe kumbure akavyara n’abana—ko azoba mutagondwa, umuntu ataroranye mu vyiyumviro, akara; canke ko azogira ivyiyumviro biri ku rugero, ko azomenya gutahura neza ukuntu ibintu biri akaba n’umunyabuntu. Urwo rugo ni rwaba rurimwo umwana w’umukobwa, imigenderanire afitaniye na se, irashobora kugira ico igira ku vy’ukuntu azobona abantu b’abagabo, kandi irashobora no kuzotuma atunganirwa canke ntatunganirwe mu mubano wo mu rugo. Kuva umwana akiri muto rwose ni ho biboneka ko hari ico se ahindura ku vyiyumviro vyiwe.
15, 16. (a) Ni ibanga nyabaki ryerekeye ivy’ukwigisha Bibiliya ishinga se w’abana? (b) Rishobora kurangūrwa gute?
15 Aho ibanga se w’abana afise mu vy’ukubigisha rigera, harerekanwa mu vyo Imana yategetse ko abantu biwe bagira, muri Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:6, 7, ngo “ayo [majambo ndiko ndababwiriza, NW] uyu musi, aze ahore ku mitima yanyu; muze mugire umwete wo kuyigisha abana banyu; muze muyahoze mu kanwa iyo mwicaye mu nzu, n’iyo muriko muragenda mu nzira, n’iyo muryamye, n’iyo muvyutse.”
16 Icokwinjizwa mu bwenge bw’umwana imisi yose akanyurwa, si amajambo masa ari mw ijambo ry’Imana, ariko n’ico rishaka kwigisha gikwiye kumwinjira. Akaryo kaja karaboneka imisi yose. Amashurwe mw ishamba, ubukōko buguruka mu kirere, inyoni canke udukōko twurira ibiti, inzu z’ibifyera, ivyama ku biti vyo ku misozi, inyenyeri zibengagira kw ijuru mw ijoro—ivyo bitangaza vyose biyāga ivyerekeye Umuremyi, kandi ukwiye gusobanurira abana ico biyāga. Umwanditsi wa Zaburi avuga ibi bikurikira: “Ijuru ritāngāza [ubuninahazwa bw’Imana, NW] itāzānure ryaryo rimenyekanisha igikorwa c’intoke zayo. Umurango uvugana n’uwundi murango urudaca, ijoro rimenyesha irindi joro ubwenge.” (Zaburi 19:1, 2) Iyo se w’abana yama agabirije gufatira kuri ivyo tuvuze, cane cane agakoresha ivyama bishika mu buzima kugira agereranye ivyerekeye ingingo zitunganye, abishimikeko ateko yerekane ko impanuro Imana itanga ziranga ubukerebutsi kandi zirimwo akarusho, arashobora gutsimbataza mu bwenge bw’umwana no mu mutima iri shimikiro rya nkenerwa rwose mu vyerekeye kazoza: kutajijuka vyonyene ko Imana ibaho, ariko kandi ko ‘iha impēra abayirondera vy’ukuri.’—Abaheburayo 11:6.
17, 18. (a) Se w’abana akwiye kubatoza indero gute? (b) Ni igiki ari ingirakamaro gusumba ivy’ugushinga amategeko injojo?
17 Gutoza abana indero na vyo nyene ni uruhara rwega se w’ibibondo. “Ni umwana ki adakāngīrwa na se?” Ico ni ikibazo cabajijwe mu Baheburayo 12:7. Naho ari uko, ategerezwa kutarenza urugero mu kumukāngīra amuhana rwose, gushika aho araka canke yumva ko aturubitswe. Ijambo ry’Imana ribwira baserugo bafise abana ibi bikurikira: “Ntimukaratse abana banyu, ngo ntibaranduke imitima.” (Ab’i Kolosayi 3:21) Birakenewe kubabuza ibintu bimwe bimwe, mugabo hari aho dushobora gushinga amategeko menshi gushika aho ahinduka umutwaro akavuna umutima.
18 Ba Bafarisayo bo mu gihe ca kera bārakunda gushinga amategeko; barayagwijije aba injojo, bica bituma haba indyarya. Kwiyumvīra ko ingorane zoshirwa mu buryo kubera gusa ko hashinzwe amategeko menshi biranga ubwenge buke bw’abantu; ariko ibihora biba mu buzima vyerekana yuko ugushikīra umutima ari vyo koko bishira mu buryo ivyagoranye. Nimushinge rero amategeko make, ahubwo mugerageze kubinjizamwo ingingo zashinzwe, mubigenze nk’uku Imana ibigenza: “Nzoshira ivyagezwe vyanje mu bwenge bwabo, no ku mitima yabo kandi ni ho nzovyandika.”—Abaheburayo 8:10.
SE W’ABANA NA NYINA W’ABANA NI ABAGENZI
19. Hogirwa iki kugira habe ivy’ukumenyeshanya amakuru mu rugo?
19 Mu bisanzwe serugo ni we arondera ibibatunga, igihe atahutse hari aho aba arushe, kandi hari aho aba afise ibindi bikorwa akora. Mugabo akwiye kurondera umwanya w’ukugumana n’umukenyezi wiwe hamwe n’abana. We n’abiwe bakwiye kumenyeshanya amakuru, agategekanya umwanya w’ibiyago no gushinga imigambi y’ivyo mu rugo, uw’ugukina n’uw’ukuja gutembera. Babigenjeje gutyo, ubumwe n’ugufashanya vyotsimbatara mu rugo. Uyo munega n’umukenyezi wiwe kumbure bāhora bamara igihe kirekire batari i muhira, imbere y’uko bavyara abana. Mugabo bagumye babigenza gutyo, bava aha baja harya, kumbure bakama batahuka batevye rwose, ntivyoba bihuye n’ibanga ryabo ry’ubuvyeyi. Vyomerera nabi rwose uruvyaro rwabo. Abo bavyeyi, haciye igihe gito canke kirekire, boshikirwa n’ingaruka y’ukwo kudakurikiza ibintu nk’uko bitunganijwe, hamwe n’ukutarangūra amabanga bashinzwe. Abana ni co kimwe n’abakuze, bamererwa neza iyo ubuzima bwabo bufise ishimikiro rikomeye, rihuje n’ivy’ugukurikiza uburyo ibintu vyatunganijwe; ivyo bituma bagira amagara meza ku vyerekeye ubwenge, umubiri hamwe n’akanyengetera ko mu mutima. Ibigirwa mu rugo imisi yose usanga bihagije rwose kuzana umunezero canke umubabaro, abavyeyi rero ntibakwiye kwongereza uwo mubabaro.—Gereranya no muri Matayo 6:34; mu b’i Kolosayi 4:5.
20. Igihe ivy’ugutoza abana indero bikenewe, abavyeyi bogira iki ngo ntihabe amacakubiri mu vyerekeye ukuntu bīgōra ngo babishitse?
20 Se na nyina w’abana bakwiye gukora bafadikanije mu vyo bagirira abo bana, mu kubigisha, mu kubabuza ibintu bimwe bimwe, mu kubatoza indero, no mu kubakunda. ‘Inzu yirwanya yo nyene ubwayo ntishobora kurama.’ (Mariko 3:25, NW) Abavyeyi bakwiye kuja inama y’uburyo bw’ugutoza abana babo indero; barashobora rero kwirinda ivy’uko abana babona ko badashize hamwe mu vyerekeye ukubatoza indero. Batabigize gutyo vyotuma abana bagerageza ‘kubateranya bakaba ari bo babategeka.’ Ego ni ko birashoboka ko hari aho umwe mu bavyeyi agira ibintu atitonze, canke n’ishavu n’akantu agahana umwana birenze urugero, canke iyo bamaze kuvyihweza bagasanga kumbure ntiyari akwiye guhanwa. Hari aho vyoshoboka ko abo bavyeyi babiyāga bari ukwa bonyene, hanyuma uwagize ibitaranga ubukerebutsi akarondera we nyene ubwiwe kubishira mu buryo ari kumwe na nya mwana. Canke iyo bidashoboka ko babivugana bari ukwa bonyene, umuvyeyi abona yuko aramutse ashigikiye mugenziwe yoba ashigikiye akarenganyo, ashobora kuvuga ati ‘ndatahura icatumye ushavura, na jewe nyene vyonshavuza. Mugabo kumbure hari ico utamenye, na co ni iki . . . ’ ace asigura ico cose abona ko yoba atazirikanye. Ivyo vyoshobora guhwamika ibintu hatabaye amacakubiri canke ukutumvikana, imbere y’uyo mwana ahawe igihano. Ni nk’uko umugani wahumetswe n’Imana uvuga, uti “ubwibone butera imitongano gusa, ariko [ubukerebutsi, NW] bubana n’abemera inama nziza.”—Imigani 13:10; rāba no mu Musiguzi 7:8.
21. Ugutoza abana indero vyoba bikwiye guheberwa umuvyeyi umwe? Ni kuki yobiheberwa canke atobiheberwa?
21 Ivyanditswe vy’igiheburayo vyerekana yuko ugutoza abana indero mubifisemwo uruhara uko muri babiri: “Mwana wanje, umva inyigisho ya so, kandi ntute ibwirizwa rya nyoko.” N’ivyanditswe vy’ikigiriki vy’abakirisu bivuga gutyo nyene: “Bana, mwumvire abavyeyi banyu mu [Mukama, NW] kuko ivyo ari vyo [bitunganye, NW].” Hari aho se w’abana abona ko ivy’ukubatoza indero ari igikorwa c’umukenyezi. Canke, umukenyezi arashobora kubona ko bitamwerekeye, iyo umwana agize nabi akaja aramukangīra vyonyene, ngo ‘rindīra gusa so wawe atahuke!’ Ariko ni mwaba mushaka ko mu rugo haba agahimbare, umuvyeyi wese abana bakamukunda kandi bakamwubaha, mukwiye gufashanya ico gikorwa mwashinzwe.—Imigani 1:8; Abanyefeso 6:1.
22. Mukwiye kwirinda iki igihe hagize ico umwana abasavye, kubera iki?
22 Abana bakwiye kubona ko abavyeyi bakora bashize hamwe muri ivyo, ko umwe wese arangūra amabanga amwega n’umutima ukunze. Niba umwana asavye ikintu se akama amubwira ngo ‘genda ubaze nyoko wawe,’ canke nyina w’abana akama aja arareka ngo se wabo abe ari we afata ingingo, umuvyeyi asanga ategerezwa kwama yishura ngo “oyaye,” aba ahawe igikorwa gituma abonwa nabi. Birumvikana ko hashobora kuba igihe se w’abana yovuga ati ‘egome urashobora kuva mu rugo ukaja gukina gatoyi—mugabo banza urābe ko nyoko wawe yoba ari hafi guhīsha.’ Canke na nyina w’abana hari aho yobona ko naho atanse guha umwana ico amusavye, se wabo ari we yogira ico abivuzeko. Mugabo bompi bakwiye kwama bagavye ngo uyo mwana ntibamuhe uburyo canke ntibamureke ngo abateranye kugira yironkere ico agomba. Umunarugo akerebutse yokwirinda no gukoresha uruhara afise rw’ivy’ubukuru mu guhiganwa, ni ukuvuga gufyinisha abana agomba arābe ko bomukunda cane kurusha umunega wiwe.
23. Mu rugo vyoba ari ngombwa ngo ivy’ugufata ingingo bigirwe na se w’abana gusa?
23 Ni vyo koko, mu vy’ugufata ingingo mu rugo birashoboka ko haba ivyo umwe umwe wese yofatamwo ingingo akumvirwa. Se w’abana ni we ashinzwe ibanga ry’ugufata ingingo ku bibazo vyerekeye ukumererwa neza kw’abo mu rugo muri vyose, kenshi na kenshi akazifata amaze kugīsha abandi inama akumviriza ivyo bipfuza n’ibibashimisha. Nyina w’abana arashobora gufata ingingo zirāba ivyo mu gikoni, hamwe n’izirāba ibindi bintu vyo mu nzu bitari bike. (Imigani 31:11, 27) Abana uko bakura ni ko kumbure bobareka ubwabo bakifatira ingingo zimwe zimwe ku vyerekeye gukina, kwihitiramwo imyambaro imwe imwe, canke ibindi bintu birāba umuntu ubwiwe. Mugabo abavyeyi bakwiye kuba maso bihagije kugira babone ko ingingo nziza zashinzwe zikurikijwe, ko ata kigeramiye umutekano w’abana, kandi ko agateka k’abandi bantu kubahirijwe. Ivyo bishobora gutuma abana batangura buhoro buhoro kuja barifatira ingingo.
UGUTERA ITEKA ABAVYEYI UBWO BIROROSHE?
24. Ko abana babwirizwa gutera iteka se wabo na nyina wabo, ni ibanga irihe abo bavyeyi basanga ari ngombwa ngo barangūre?
24 Abana babwirwa ngo “[tera iteka, NW] so na nyoko.” (Abanyefeso 6:2; Kuvayo 20:12) Babigenjeje gutyo baba kandi bubashe ibwirizwa ry’Imana. Ubwo ivyo murabiborohereza? Wewe munarugo bakubwira gutera iteka umunega wawe no kumwubaha. Ivyo none ntibikugora rwose kubishitsa iyo yihāta buhoro canke atihāta na gato kugira akurikize mu buzima ivyo Ijambo ry’Imana rimutegeka? Wewe munega ubwirijwe gukunda rwose umukenyezi wawe kandi ukamutera iteka kuko ari umugenzi. Ivyo none ntibikugora kubishitsa iyo ata co agufasha? Nuko nimworohereze abana banyu kugira bakurikize ibwirizwa ry’Imana ry’ugutera iteka mwebwe bavyeyi babo. Nimwiheshe icubahiro mu kwubaka urugo rusagwa amahoro, mu gushinga ingingo nziza nziza, mu kubaha akarorero keza mu buryo mwigenza mwebwe ubwanyu, mu kubigisha no mu kubarera neza, hamwe no mu kubatoza indero n’urukundo igihe bikenewe.
25. Ni ingorane izihe zishobora guterwa n’uko abavyeyi badashize hamwe mu vyerekeye uburyo bakwiye kurera abana?
25 “Babiri baruta umwe,” ni ko umwami Salomo yavuze, “kuko baronka impēra kubw’ubutame bwabo.” (Umusiguzi 4:9) Iyo abantu babiri bagendanye umwe akagwa, uwundi aba abona agaca amuvyura. No mu rugo rero ni co kimwe, umugabo n’umugore barashobora kuremeshanya, umwe wese agashigikira uwundi mu vy’ukurangūra uruhara rumwega. Mu bintu vyinshi cane birāba abavyeyi, usanga uruhara rwega umwe umwe rusa rwose n’urwega uwundi, bigaca biba vyiza ku vyerekeye ubumwe mu rugo. Abana bakwiye gutuma abavyeyi bashikirana, bagatuma bashira hamwe mu vy’ukubarera. Mugabo hari aho ibintu bizana amacakubiri bishobora kuvyuka ku vyerekeye uburyo bw’ukurera abana n’ubw’ukubahana. Hari aho umukenyezi yitwararika umwana birenze urugero ku buryo umunega wiwe abona ko atamwitaho, mbere akumva agize ishari. Ivyo hari ico bishobora kugira ku vyerekeye uburyo abona uwo mwana. Hari aho atomushwashwanukira, canke hari aho yomugirira igishika, ariko ntiyiteho rwose umukenyezi wiwe. Igihe umunega canke umukenyezi arengeje urugero mu vyo agira, ingaruka yavyo ni agahomerabunwa.
26. Hogirwa iki kugira ngo umwana akurikiwe ntagire ishari mu gihe nyina amara umwanya munini ari kumwe n’uyo mwana akivuka?
26 Harashobora kuba n’iyindi ngorane igihe umwana avutse agasangaho uwundi. Nyina w’abana ategerezwa kumara igihe kirekire ari kumwe n’uyo mushasha. Kugira ngo uwo mwana akurikiwe ntabone ko bamuhevye ngo agire ishari, se w’abana akwiye kumwitwararika cane.
27. Igihe umwe mu bubakanye atizeye, abana bashobora gufashwa gute mu vy’umutima?
27 Ego ni ko babiri basumba umwe, mugabo umwe arasumba kubura n’umwe. Rimwe rimwe hari igihe biba ngombwa ko nyina w’abana abarera adafashijwe na se wabo. Canke hari aho se wabo ari we arwana intambara nk’iyo. Birakunda gushika ko abavyeyi usanga badasangiye idini. Ico gihe umuvyeyi umwe kubera ko ari umusavyi w’Imana Yehova aba yemera rwose impanuro zo muri Bibiliya, mugabo uwundi we si uko. Ahantu umunega ari we mukirisu yitanze, ni we ategeka cane mu vyerekeye uburyo bw’ukurera n’ubw’uguhana abana, kuko ari we kizigenza mu rugo. Naho ari uko, hari aho yosanga akwiye kubengenga rwose, kwigumya no kurinda amagume, ugasanga akwiye gushikama igihe hadutse ingorane itoroshe, mugabo akagira ivyiyumviro biroranye hamwe n’ubuntu naho hoba hari ikimushavuje, kandi akoroha igihe cose bimuhaye uburyo. Iyo umukenyezi ari we yizeye, akaba rero yorohera umunega, ukuntu yovyifatamwo vyova cane cane ku buryo uwo munega abona ibintu. Yoba gusa adashimishwa na Bibiliya, canke yoba yanka ko umukenyezi wiwe akurikiza ivyo yizera, akanka n’uko avyigisha abana? Uwo munega ni yaba amurwanya, akwiye kwigenza nk’uko intumwa Paulo yerekanye mu ncamake, ngo umukenyezi ni yarangūra amabanga amwega nk’uko bitegerejwe agatako akubaha umunega wiwe, ‘yoreshwa ata jambo uyo mukenyezi avuze.’ Akwiye kutagisha akaryo na kamwe aronka k’ukwigisha abana ivyerekeye ingingo zo muri Bibiliya.—1 Petero 3:1-4.
UKUNTU I MUHIRA HOMERA
28, 29. I muhira hohimbara umuntu hakwiye kuba hameze gute, kubera iki?
28 Umwe wese mu bavyeyi uruhara rumwega ni ugusasagaza urukundo mu rugo. Iyo abana babona ko ari uko biri, amakosa bagira n’ivyo bakekeranya ntibabibīka mu nda kubera ugutinya kubimenyesha abavyeyi. Barazi ko bashobora guserura akari ku mutima bakumvirwa, kandi ko ivyabo baja kuvyihweza n’urukundo. (Gereranya no muri 1 Yohani 4:17-19; mu Baheburayo 4:15, 16.) I muhira ntihoba gusa ahantu ho kuryama, hoba kandi ubuhungiro. Igishika abavyeyi biyumvamwo cotuma agatima abana bafise gashinga imizi kagatsimbatara.
29 Ntiwojobeka ikinyuko mu mavuta ngo usange kinyoye amazi. Conywa ivyo bacinjijemwo. Ico kinyuko conywa amazi igihe bakidibitse mu mazi. N’abana ni co kimwe, ibibinjiramwo ni ibibakikije. Baratahura neza inyifato bakitegereza n’ibigirwa hambavu yabo, hanyuma bakabinywa nka kurya kw’ibinyuko. Abana baratahura neza ukuntu mumerewe, niba mushavuye canke mutekanye. Ndetse n’abana bakivuka bariyinjizamwo kamere y’i muhira, ni co gituma ukwizera, urukundo, kamere y’ivy’umutima hamwe n’ukwishimira Imana Yehova, biri n’ico bimaze koko.
30. Ni ibibazo ibihe abavyeyi bokwibaza kugira bamenye ko boba bayobora abana babo nk’uko bibereye?
30 Nimwibaze: Ni ingingo izihe mugomba ko umwana wanyu azokurikiza? Ubwo mwempi abavyeyi murazikurikiza? Urwo rugo rwanyu rushigikiye iki? Ni akarorero nyabaki muha umwana? Mwoba mwidoga, mutora abandi amakosa, mubanegura, ivyiyumviro bitameze neza bikaba ari vyo mwamiza ku muzirikanyi? Uko ni ko mwipfuza ko abana banyu bomera? Canke, mwoba mwarashinze ingingo nziza rwose mu rugo, mukazikurikiza, mukarondera ko n’abana banyu bozikurikiza? Ubwo barategera yuko kugira ngo babe muri urwo rugo hariho ibisabwa barinda gushitsa, ko hariho ingeso zemewe, kandi ko hariho ibintu bimwe bimwe hamwe n’inyifato bitemewe? Abana bipfuza kwiyumvamwo ko baba mu rugo rutarimwo inkomanzi, nuko rero mubereke ko mubashima kandi ko mutabīhakanye, igihe bakurikiza ingingo zashinzwe mu rugo. Abantu bamera nk’uko abandi bantu bashaka ko bamera. Ni wabona ko umwana wawe ari umuntu mubi, hari aho yoca aba mubi. Ni wabona ko ari umwana mwiza, uba umwoheje gukora ivyiza.
31. Ni igiki nantaryo gikwiye kujana n’ubuyobozi bw’abavyeyi?
31 Abantu umenya ukuntu bari urāvye cane cane ivyo bakora, si ivyo bavuga. N’abana nyene hari aho amajambo batoyitaho cane nk’ibikozwe, kandi bakunda gutahura ningoga uburyarya ubwo ari bwo bwose. Amajambo menshi birenze urugero arashobora kuvuruga umwana ubwenge. Urama ugavye kugira ngo ivyo uvuga bijane n’ivyo ukora.—1 Yohani 3:18.
32. Ni impanuro ya nde ikwiye nantaryo gukurikizwa?
32 Niba uri se w’abana canke nyina w’abana, kurangūra uruhara rukwega ni intambara. Mugabo woshobora gutsinda hakavamwo ivyiza, ukurikije impanuro ya wa wundi Mutangabuzima. Rangūra uruhara rukwega ubishizemwo umutima nk’uko ari we ukorera. (Ab’i Kolosayi 3:17) Niwirinde kugira ibintu ubobotereza canke ngo ukavye, wame ubigirira ku rugero, kandi “[ugusohora ivyiyumviro bimeze neza kwanyu nikumenywe, NW] n’abantu bose,” harimwo n’abana banyu.—Ab’i Filipi 4:5.
[Ifoto ku rup. 100]
Indabo nyina w’ibibondo arāba uruyoya, ukurukuyakuya, ijwi ryiwe, birubwira ngo “ndagukunda”
[Ifoto ku rup. 104]
Woba utunganya ivy’ukwinezereza hamwe n’abana bawe?