Banja—Lili Pangozi!
“NDIPO anakhala mosangalala moyo wawo wonse pambuyo pake.” Mawu omaliza amenewo a nthano ina amakhudza maukwati ochepa kwambiri masiku ano. Lumbiro laukwati la kukondana wina ndi mnzake ‘zivute zitani malinga ngati aŵiriwo ali ndi moyo,’ nthaŵi zambiri limangokhala lapakamwa chabe. Zikuoneka kuti palibe chiyembekezo chenicheni cha kukhala ndi banja lachimwemwe.
M’zaka zapakati pa 1960 ndi 1990, chisudzulo chinaŵirikiza kuposa kaŵiri m’maiko ambiri olemera a Kumadzulo. M’maiko ena chinaŵirikiza kanayi. Mwachitsanzo, chaka chilichonse pafupifupi maukwati 35,000 amachitika ku Sweden, ndipo pafupifupi theka la iwo amasweka, ndipo zimenezi zimakhudza ana oposa 45,000. Amuna ndi akazi ongokhalira pamodzi popanda ukwati amalekana mofulumira kwambiri, zimene zimakhudza ana ena zikwi makumi ambiri. Mkhalidwe wofananawo ukuyambikanso m’maiko ena padziko lonse lapansi, monga momwe tingaonere m’bokosi la patsamba 5.
Zoonadi, kusweka kwa mabanja ndi kupasuka kwa maukwati si nkhani yachilendo m’mbiri. Malamulo a Hammurabi a m’zaka za zana la 18 B.C.E. anaphatikizapo malamulo amene anavomereza chisudzulo ku Babulo. Ngakhale Chilamulo cha Mose, choyambika m’zaka za zana la 16 B.C.E., chinavomereza chisudzulo ku Israyeli. (Deuteronomo 24:1) Komabe, zomangira zaukwati sizinakhalepo zofooka kwambiri monga momwe zachitira m’zaka za zana lino la 20. Zaka zoposa khumi zapitazo, wolemba nyuzipepala wina analemba kuti: “Zaka makumi asanu mtsogolomu, sitingadzakhalenso ndi mabanja amwambo. Iwo angakhale ataloŵedwa m’malo ndi mabanja amitundu yosiyanasiyana.” Ndipotu zinthu zikuonetsa ngati zikugwirizana ndi malingaliro akewo. Banja lanyonyotsoka kotheratu kotero kuti funso lakuti, “Kodi lipulumuka?” likuoneka kuti nloyenerera kwambiri.
Kodi nchifukwa ninji kuli kovuta kwambiri kwa anthu ambiri okwatirana kugwirizana ndi kusunga banja logwirizana? Kodi nchinsinsi chotani chimene chili ndi anthu amene agwirizana kwa nthaŵi yaitali, akumakondwerera kuti atha zaka 25 kapena 50 muukwati? Mwamwayi, mu 1983 zinamveka kuti munthu wina ndi mkazi wake m’dziko la Azerbaijan la ku Soviet wakale anakondwerera chaka chawo cha 100 ali muukwati—mwamunayo anali ndi zaka 126 ndipo mkaziyo anali ndi zaka 116 zakubadwa.
Kodi Ngozi Yake Njotani?
M’maiko ambiri nkhani zina zimene zimapangitsa chisudzulo kukhala chovomerezeka mwalamulo ndizo chigololo, kunyozana kapena kumenyana, kunyalanyazana, uchidakwa, kusabereka, misala, mitala, ndi kumwerekera ndi mankhwala osokoneza ubongo. Komabe, chochititsa chachikulu nchakuti kaonedwe koyambirira ka ukwati ndi moyo wa banja wamwambo kasintha kwambiri, makamaka kuyambira zaka makumi angapo zapitazo. Ukwati sukuonedwanso monga chinthu chopatulika monga momwe zinalili kale. Oimba nyimbo adyera, opanga akanema, maseŵero opitiriza a pa TV, ndi olemba mabuku otchuka asonkhezera mkhalidwe wotchedwa ufulu wa kugonana, chisembwere, makhalidwe onyansa, ndi moyo wa dziŵa zako. Asonkhezera khalidwe limene lasokoneza malingaliro ndi mitima ya achinyamata ndi achikulire omwe.
Pa kufufuza kumene kunachitika mu 1996, anapeza kuti 22 peresenti ya Aamereka amanena kuti kugonana kochitika kunja kwa ukwati nthaŵi zina kungakhale kwabwino muukwati. Kope lapadera la nyuzipepala imene ndi imodzi mwa nyuzipepala zotchuka ku Sweden, yotchedwa Aftonbladet, inalimbikitsa akazi kuti asudzule amuna awo chifukwa chakuti “zimenezo zingakhale zabwinoko.” Openda za malingaliro ndi openda chikhalidwe cha anthu oulutsa nkhani zawo alingaliranso kuti munthu “analinganizidwa” mwa chisinthiko kuti azisintha mnzake wa muukwati patangopita zaka zochepa. Tinganenenso kuti iwo akulingalira kuti kugonana kochitika kunja kwa ukwati ndi chisudzulo nzachibadwa. Ena amanenanso kuti kusudzulana kwa makolo kungakhale kothandiza kwa ana, popeza kuti kungawakonzekeretse kudzapirira chisudzulo chawochawo tsiku lina!
Achinyamata ambiri safunanso zokhala ndi banja lamwambo, lokhala ndi tate, mayi, ndi ana. Pali lingaliro lotchuka lakuti, “Sindingathe kukhala ndi mnzanga wamuukwati mmodzimodziyo kwa moyo wanga wonse.” “Ukwati uli ngati Krisimasi, uli nthanthi chabe. Sindiukhulupirira mpang’ono pomwe,” anatero mnyamata wina wazaka 18 wa ku Denmark. “Pali lingaliro lakuti, nkuvutikiranji kukhala ndi [amuna] ndi kumawachitira ntchito zapakhomo,” anatero Noreen Byrne wa m’bungwe la ku Ireland lotchedwa National Women’s Council. “Pamangofunika kukaseŵera nawo basi . . . Akazi ambiri akulingalira kuti safunikira chithandizo cha amuna.”
Kuwonjezeka kwa Mabanja a Kholo Limodzi
Khalidwe limeneli lapangitsa kuwonjezeka kwa amayi opanda amuna ku Ulaya konse. Ena mwa makolo opanda amuna ngachitsikana osafika zaka 20 amene amalingalira kuti kukhala ndi mimba zapathengo sikulakwa. Angapo ndi amayi amene amafuna kulera ana awo paokha. Ambiri ndi amayi amene amakhala ndi mwamuna kwa nthaŵi yochepa, popanda makonzedwe alionse okwatirana naye. Magazini ina ya Newsweek chaka chathachi inali ndi nkhani yapachikuto yonena za funso lakuti “Kufa kwa Ukwati?” Inafotokoza kuti chiŵerengero cha ana apathengo obadwa amoyo chikukwera mofulumira ku Ulaya ndipo zikuonetsa kuti palibe amene akuda nazo nkhaŵa. Dziko la Sweden lingakhale lotsogola pankhani imeneyi, kumene theka la ana onse kumeneko ngapathengo. Ku Denmark ndi ku Norway alipo pafupifupi theka, ndipo ku France ndi ku England, mwa ana atatu alionse mmodzi ngwapathengo.
Ku United States, mabanja a makolo aŵiri achepa kwambiri kuyambira m’zaka makumi ochepa zapitazo. Lipoti lina linati: “Mu 1960, . . . 9 peresenti ya ana onse anali kukhala m’mabanja a kholo limodzi. Pomadzafika mu 1990, chiŵerengero chimenecho chinakwera kufika 25 peresenti. Lerolino, 27.1 peresenti ya ana onse a ku America ngobadwira m’nyumba ya kholo limodzi, chiŵerengero chimene chikukwerabe. . . . Chiyambire mu 1970, chiŵerengero cha mabanja a kholo limodzi chakwera kuŵirikiza kuposa kaŵiri. Banja lamwambo lili pangozi yaikulu lerolino kotero kuti lingazimiririke, amatero ofufuza ena.”
Kumaiko amene Tchalitchi cha Roma Katolika chataya mwambo wa makhalidwe abwino, mabanja a kholo limodzi akuwonjezeka. Ndi mabanja ochepa chabe a ku Italy amene ali ndi mayi, tate, ndi ana, ndipo banja lamwambo likuloŵedwa m’malo ndi anthu okwatirana opanda ana ndi mabanja a kholo limodzi.
Maprogramu a chithandizo m’maiko ena ndiwo amene akulimbikitsa anthu kuti asamakwatirane. Amayi opanda amuna amene amalandira chithandizo chaboma angasiye kulandira ngati akwatiwa. Amayi opanda amuna ku Denmark amalandira ndalama zowonjezereka zosamalirira ana awo, ndipo m’madera ena, amayi osafika zaka 18 zakubadwa amalandira ndalama zowonjezereka ndipo amawalipilira lendi. Choncho, nkhani ya ndalama ikuloŵetsedwamo. Alf B. Svensson anafotokoza kuti ku Sweden, chisudzulo chimatha ndalama zamsonkho pakati pa madola 250,000 ndi 375,000 zopatsa anthu osudzulidwa, kulipira nyumba, ndiponso kusamalira anthu onse.
Matchalitchi a m’Dziko Lachikristu akuoneka kuti akuchita zinthu zochepa ngati akutero nkomwe pofuna kuyesa kuthetsa vuto limeneli m’mabanja. Mapasitala ndi atsogoleri achipembedzo ambiri akulimbana ndi mavuto a m’mabanja awo omwe, choncho amaona kuti sangathe kuthandiza ena. Ena akuonetsa kuti akulimbikitsa chisudzulo. Nyuzipepala ya Aftonbladet ya April 15, 1996, inalengeza kuti pasitala Steven Allen wa ku Bradford, England, anapangitsa mwambo wapadera wa chisudzulo, umene akuulingalira kuti uyenera kukhala monga mwambo walamulo wa chisudzulo m’matchalitchi onse a ku Britain. “Ndi mwambo wamachiritso wothandiza anthu kuti apirire zimene zinawachitikira. Umawathandiza kuzindikira kuti Mulungu amawakondabe ndipo amawathetsera mavutowo.”
Choncho, kodi nchiyani chimene chidzachitikira moyo wa banja? Kodi pali chiyembekezo chakuti banja lingapulumuke? Kodi banja lililonse lingathe kusungabe mgwirizano wake pamene lili pangozi yaikulu chotere? Taŵerengani nkhani yotsatira.
[Tchati patsamba 5]
MAUKWATI APACHAKA AYEREKEZEREDWA NDI ZISUDZULO M’MAIKO ENA
DZIKO CHAKA MAUKWATI ZISUDZULO
Australia 1993 113,255 48,324
Canada 1992 164,573 77,031
Cuba 1992 191,837 63,432
Czech Republic 1993 66,033 30,227
Denmark 1993 31,507 12,991
Estonia 1993 7,745 5,757
France 1991 280,175 108,086
Germany 1993 442,605 156,425
Japan 1993 792,658 188,297
Maldives 1991 4,065 2,659
Norway 1993 19,464 10,943
Puerto Rico 1992 34,222 14,227
Russian Federation 1993 1,106,723 663,282
Sweden 1993 34,005 21,673
United Kingdom 1992 356,013 174,717
United States 1993 2,334,000 1,187,000
(Zochokera mu 1994 Demographic Yearbook, United Nations, New York 1996)