When Two of Yor Get Different Way of Looking at Things

In the marriage, when yor get different interests, habits, and behavior, it can be hard to deal with each other. But some problems like the one them that down here, can be even more serious. For example:

• How much time yor need to spend with your family members

• How to manage yor money

• Whether yor want born children

Wetin you can do if you and your husband or wife not able to agree on one thing?

• What you need to know

• What you can do

What you need to know

Being good for each other not mean that yor the same. Husband and wife who really good for each other will not always think or look at things the same way, even when it come to serious matter.

“I grew up in the family where we were really close to each other. On weekends, we use to go spend time with our grandparents, uncles, aunties, and cousins. But my husband family was not looking like that. So we get different way of seeing things when it come to how much time to spend with family or calling relatives who living far from us.”​—Tamara.

“Me and my wife grew up with different idea on how to spend money. During the first few months in our marriage, we use to make palaver about money business. We were not able to fix the problem even after we talk about it two different time.”​—Tyler.

You can’t fix some problems by just agreeing to it. For example, suppose one of your in-laws get sick and need somebody to take care of them? Or suppose one of yor want born children, but the other person not agree?a

“Me and my wife been talking for some time now about borning children. She can be thinking about it all the time, and two of us get different thinking on the matter. I can’t see myself agreeing with her.”​—Alex.

Seeing things different way not mean that your marriage can’t be successful. Some big-big book people say that if you and your husband or wife can’t agree on certain serious matter, then you must do anything you feel like doing to get what you want, even if it mean spoiling the marriage. But that kind na idea can just make you to focus on your own feeling. It can make you to forget the vow you make before God to stick to your husband or wife no matter what happen.

What you can do

Fight hard to stick to your vow. When yor fight hard to stick to your vow, then it will be easy for yor to solve your problems together instead of fighting each other over small-small things.

Bible advice: “What God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”​—Matthew 19:6.

Think on what all involve. For example, suppose one of yor want born children, but the other person not agree. Here some things you can think on:

• How strong your relationship looking?

  Yor able to bear the problems that can come from bringing up one child?

• You know what all involve in becoming parent?

  That not only to provide food, clothes, and place to live.

• Think about how much money your get.

  You able to do your work and at the same time take care of your family and do other things?

Bible advice: “Who of you wanting to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate the expense?”​—Luke 14:28.

Think about all this thing them. Maybe you will be able to solve some problems. For example, if the problem that to born children, the person who not want child must ask their self:

• ‘When I say that I not want born children, it mean that I not want get children or I not just ready yet?’

• ‘I not want born because I feel that I will not be good parent?’

• ‘I scare because I feel that my wife or husband will not give me all the attention I use to get?’

Then the person who want children must ask their self questions like:

• ‘We ready to be parent?’

• ‘We get money to bring our child up?’

Bible advice: “The wisdom from above is. . . reasonable.”​—James 3:17.

Try to see the good in your husband or wife idea. It normal for two persons to look at the same thing and get different views on it. That the same way, marry people can look at their problem and get different view on it. For example, they can get different view on how to use their money. Instead of talking about something that yor can’t easily agree on, it will be good to start talking about the one yor can agree on.

• Wetin two of yor can agree on?

• What good thing you see in the idea two of yor get?

• It possible for one person or two of yor to change the way yor look at things, and accept one person idea just for the sake of yor marriage?

Bible advice: “Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person.”​—1 Corinthians 10:24.