Intsha Iyabuza
Ngingabhekana Kanjani Nokufelwa Umzali?
“Lapho kushona umama, ngazizwa ngisele dengwane. Nguyena owayegcina umkhaya wakithi ubumbene.”—UKaryn.a
ZIMBALWA izinto ekuphileni eziyoke zikuthinte kakhulu ukwedlula ukushona komzali. Akukhona nje ukuthi kufanele ubekezelele ubuhlungu obukhulu bokulahlekelwa kuphela kodwa kufanele ubhekane nanekusasa elizohluka ngokuphelele kulokho obukulindele.
Mhlawumbe ubunethemba lokuthi umama noma ubaba wakho othandekayo uyobe ekhona lapho uthola izincwadi zakho zokushayela, uqeda isikole noma bajabule kanye nawe ngosuku lwakho lomshado. Manje lawo mathemba aseshabalele, akushiya udabukile, ukhungathekile noma ucasukile. Ungabhekana kanjani nemizwelo yokucindezeleka ebangelwa ukushonelwa umzali?
‘Ingabe Ngiphile Kahle?’
Lapho uqala ukubhekana neqiniso lokushonelwa umama noma ubaba, ungase uphoqeleke ukuba ubhekane nemizwelo ongakaze ube nayo ngaphambili. UBrian, owashonelwa uyise lapho eneminyaka engu-13, ngenxa yesifo senhliziyo, uthi: “Ngobusuku esakuzwa ngabo lokhu, savele sabambana sasidinda isililo.” UNatalie, owayeneminyaka eyishumi lapho uyise ebulawa umdlavuza, uyakhumbula: “Ngavele ngandikindiki. Angizange ngizwe lutho. Angibanga namizwelo.”
Ukufa kusithinta ngezindlela ezingafani. Empeleni, iBhayibheli lithi ‘yilowo nalowo unenhlupho yakhe nobuhlungu bakhe.’ (2 IziKronike 6:29) Unalokho engqondweni, ake ucabange ngendlela okukuthinte ngayo ukushonelwa umzali. Ngezansi, chaza (1) indlela owazizwa ngayo lapho utshelwa ngokushona komzali wakho (2) nokuthi usuzizwa kanjani manje.b
(1) ․․․․․
(2) ․․․․․
Mhlawumbe izimpendulo zakho zembula ukuthi imizwelo yakho isingcono ngezinga elithile. Kuyinto evamile lokho. Akusho ukuthi usumkhohliwe umzali wakho. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungase uthole ukuthi imizwelo yakho ayikashintshi noma usulusizi kakhulu. Mhlawumbe usizi lwakho luba njengamagagasi aphakamayo aphinde ehle abese “eshayeka ogwini” ngokungalindelekile. Nalokhu kuvamile—ngisho noma kwenzeka ngemva kweminyaka kwashona umzali. Umbuzo uwukuthi, Ungabhekana kanjani nalobu buhlungu—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bubanjani?
Izindlela Zokubhekana Nakho
Ungazibambi izinyembezi! Ukukhala kuyasiza ekudambiseni izinhlungu zosizi. Kodwa, ungase uzizwe njengo-Alicia, owayeneminyaka engu-19 lapho kushona unina. Uyalandisa, “Ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi uma ngibonisa ukudabuka kakhulu, kwabanye kuzoba sengathi anginalo ukholo.” Kodwa cabanga: UJesu Kristu wayeyindoda ephelele enokholo oluqinile kuNkulunkulu. Kodwa, “wakhala” ngokufa komngane wakhe othandekayo uLazaru. (Johane 11:35) Ngakho ungesabi ukukhala. Akusho ukuthi awunalo ukholo! U-Alicia uthi: “Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngakhala. Kakhulu. Nsuku zonke.”c
Khuluma uma unomuzwa wecala. “Ngangihlale ngiya kumama ekamelweni eliphezulu ngimqabule ngaphambi kokuyolala,” kusho uKaryn, owayeneminyaka engu-13 lapho unina eshona. “Ngobunye ubusuku angikwenzanga lokhu. Ngakusasa ekuseni, umama washona. Nakuba kuzwakala kungakholeki, ngazizwa nginecala ngokungamboni ngobusuku bakhe bokugcina—nangenxa yezenzakalo ezenzeka ngakusasa ekuseni. Ubaba wayehambe ngomsebenzi washiya mina nodadewethu ukuba sinakekele umama. Kodwa salala sekwephuzile. Lapho ngiya ekamelweni lakhe umama wayengasaphefumuli. Ngazizwa kabi ngoba ubaba wayemshiye ephila!”
NjengoKaryn, mhlawumbe unomuzwa wecala ngezinga elithile ngenxa yezinto ongazenzanga. Ungase ubeleselwe nawumuzwa wokuthi “ukube nje.” ‘Ukube nje ngamncenga ubaba ukuba aye kudokotela.’ ‘Ukube nje ngamhlola umama.’ Uma uhlushwa imicabango enjalo, khumbula lokhu: Kuyinto evamile ukuzisola ngezinto ofisa sengathi ngabe uzenze ngendlela ehlukile. Iqiniso liwukuthi, wawuyokwenza ngendlela ehlukile ukube wawazi ukuthi kuzokwenzekani. Kodwa wawungazi. Ngakho-ke, lowo muzwa wecala awufaneleki. Akufanele uzizwe unecala ngokushona komzali wakho!d
Khuluma ngemizwa yakho. IzAga 12:25 zithi: “Amazwi amnandi ayokwenza ujabule.” (Today’s English Version) Ukuvalela imizwa yakho ngaphakathi kungakwenza kube nzima ukubhekana nosizi lwakho. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuxoxa ngemizwa yakho nomuntu omethembayo kuyokuvulela indlela yokuthola “amazwi amnandi” esikhuthazo lapho uwadinga kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, kungani ungazami ukwenza okukodwa noma okwengeziwe kokusikiselwe ngezansi?
Khuluma nomzali wakho osaphila. Nakuba lesi kuyisikhathi esinzima ngomzali osele, ngokuqinisekila usafuna ukukunikeza usizo oludingayo. Khona-ke, mtshele ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Akungabazeki ukuthi izingxoxo ezinjalo ziyoludambisa usizi lwakho futhi zinenze nisondelane.
Ukuze ukwazi ukuqala ingxoxo, zama lokhu: Bhala okubili noma okuthathu kwalokho ofisa sengathi ngabe ubukwazi ngomzali oshonile, bese ucela ukukhuluma ngakho nomzali osaphila.e
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Khuluma nabangane abaseduze. IBhayibheli lithi abangane beqiniso ‘bazalelwa isikhathi sosizi.’ (IzAga 17:17) U-Alicia uthi: “Umuntu osuke ungacabangi ukuthi angakusiza kungaba nguyena okusizayo. Khona-ke ungesabi ukuxoxa ngakho.” Kuyavunywa, kungase kube nzima ukuba nezingxoxo ezinjalo, njengoba wena nomngane wakho ningase ningazi ukuthi nizothini. Nokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuyokusiza ukukhuluma nabanye ngosizi lwakho. UDavid, owayeneminyaka engu-9 nje kuphela lapho uyise ebulawa isifo senhliziyo, uyakhumbula: “Ngayicindezela imizwa yami. Kwakuyongisiza ngokwempilo ukube ngakhuluma kakhudlwana ngakho. Ngangiyobhekana nakho kangcono.”
Khuluma noNkulunkulu. Ngokunokwenzeka, uyozizwa ungcono kakhulu ngemva ‘kokuthulula inhliziyo yakho’ kuJehova uNkulunkulu ngomthandazo. (IHubo 62:8) Lokhu ‘akuyona nje indlela yokukwenza uzizwe ungcono.’ Ngomthandazo, unxusa ‘uNkulunkulu wenduduzo yonke, osiduduza osizini lwethu lonke.’—2 Korinte 1:3, 4.
Enye indlela uNkulunkulu asiduduza ngayo umoya wakhe ongcwele. Ungakunikeza “amandla angaphezu kwavamile,” ukuze ukwazi ukubekezelela ubuhlungu bokudabuka. (2 Korinte 4:7) UNkulunkulu ulungiselela ‘nenduduzo evela emiBhalweni.’ (Roma 15:4) Ngakho-ke, cela umoya kaNkulunkulu, futhi zinike isikhathi sokufunda ngenduduzo etholakala eZwini lakhe, iBhayibheli. (2 Thesalonika 2:16, 17) Kungani ungazenzeli uhlu lwemiBhalo ekududuza ngokukhethekile?f
Ingabe Lobu Buhlungu Buyoke Buphele?
Ukudabuka akuyona into yesikhashana. UBrianne owashonela ngunina eneminyaka engu-16, uthi: “Akuyona nje into evele idlule. Kunezinsuku engikhala ngazo ngize ngizumeke. Ngezinye izikhathi, ngiyazama ukungagxili ekulahlekelweni, kodwa ezithembisweni uJehova angibekele zona engiyozijabulela nomama ePharadesi.”
IBhayibheli liyasiqinisekisa ukuthi ePharadesi uBrianne akhuluma ngalo, “ukufa ngeke kusaba khona, noma ukulila noma ukukhala, noma ubuhlungu ngeke kusaba khona.” (IsAmbulo 21:3, 4) Nawe ungathola ukuthi ukuzindla ngezithembiso ezinjalo kuyokusiza ubhekane nokulahlekelwa umzali.
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[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a Amagama akulesi sihloko ashintshiwe.
b Uma kunzima ukuphendula le mibuzo njengamanje, ungase uzame ukuyiphendula ngesinye isikhathi.
c Ungabi nomuzwa wokuthi kufanele ukhale ukuze ubonise ukudabuka. Abantu badabuka ngezindlela ezingafani. Nansi into ebalulekile: Uma uzizwa izinyembezi zifika, yazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi “sokukhala.”—UmShumayeli 3:4.
d Uma uqhubeka uhlushwa imicabango enjalo, xoxa nomzali wakho osaphila noma omunye umuntu omdala. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uyoba nombono ofanele ngezinto.
e Uma wakhuliswa umzali oyedwa noma uma ngenxa yezimo ezithile umzali ophilayo engahlali nawe, ungase uxoxe nomuntu omdala ovuthiwe.
f Abanye baye baduduzwa yile miBhalo elandelayo: IHubo 34:18; 102:17; 147:3; Isaya 25:8; Johane 5:28, 29.
OKUDINGA UKUCATSHANGELWA:
◼ Ikuphi ukusikisela okukulesi sihloko ozokusebenzisa? ․․․․․
◼ Ngezansi, bhala uhlu lwemiBhalo embalwa oluyokududuza lapho ugutshuzelwa ukudabuka. ․․․․․
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 11]
KULUNGILE UKUKHALA . . . NABO BAKHALA!
U-Abrahama—Genesise 23:2.
UJosefa—Genesise 50:1.
UDavide—2 Samuweli 1:11, 12; 18:33.
UMariya, udadewabo kaLazaru. —Johane 11:32, 33.
UJesu—Johane 11:35.
UMariya Magdalena—Johane 20:11.
[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 12]
BHALA PHANSI
Ukukubhala phansi lokho okucabangayo ngomzali ongasekho kungaba usizo olukhulu ekubhekaneni nokudabuka. Ziningi izinto ongazibhala ngakho. Nakhu ukusikisela okumbalwa ngezansi.
◼ Bhala ezinye zezinkumbulo ezinhle onazo ngomzali.
◼ Bhala lokho ofisa sengathi ngabe wakusho kumzali lapho esaphila.
◼ Cabanga ngokuthi unabantwana bakini abakwelamayo abalwa nemizwa yecala ngokushona komzali. Bhala lokho ongakusho ukuze ubaduduze. Lokhu kungasiza ukuba ulwe nemizwa yakho yecala.
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 13]
INCWADI EYA KUMZALI OSAPHILA
Usizi lokushonelwa obushade naye lungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu. Kanti lungafika lapho umntanakho osemusha edinga usizo lwakho. Ungamsiza kanjani ukuba abhekane nosizi lwakhe, kuyilapho nawe ungalushayi indiva olwakho?g
Yilwa nomuzwa wokucindezela imizwa yakho. Umntanakho uye wafunda izinto eziningi ezibalulekile ekuphileni kuwena. Kuyoba njalo nangokufunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nosizi. Ngakho-ke, ungazizwa uphoqeleka ukumfihlela imizwa yakho yokudabuka. Lokhu kungamfundisa ukuba enze okufanayo. Ngokuphambene nalokho, uma uyiveza imizwa yakho ebuhlungu, ufunda ukuthi kungcono ukuyiveza imizwa kunokuyicindezela nokuthi kuyinto evamile ukuzizwa udabukile, ukhungathekile noma ucasukile.
Khuthaza umntanakho osemusha ukuba akhulume. Ngaphandle kokumenza azizwe ecindezelekile, mkhuthaze ukuba axoxe ngokusenhliziyweni yakhe. Uma enqikaza, kungani ningaxoxi ngalesi sihloko nobabili? Okunye, xoxani ngezinkumbulo ezinhle eninazo ngomzali ongasekho. Kwamukele ukuthi kuyoba nzima ngawe ukuqhubeka. Ukulalela njengoba uveza imizwa yakho kuyomsiza ukuba naye enze okufanayo.
Kuqaphele ukulinganiselwa kwakho. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi ufuna ukumsekela umntanakho phakathi nalesi sikhathi esinzima. Kodwa khumbula, nawe kukuphathe kabi kakhulu ukulahlekelwa othandekayo wakho. Khona-ke amandla akho angokomzwelo, angokwengqondo nangokomzimba angase anciphe okwesikhashana. (IzAga 24:10) Ngakho, kungase kudingeke ucele usizo lokusekelwa amanye amalungu omndeni amadala nabangane abavuthiwe. Ukucela usizo kuwuphawu lokuvuthwa. IzAga 11:2 zithi: “Ukuhlakanipha kukwabanesizotha.”
Usizo olungcono kunalo lonke ongase uluthole luvela kuJehova uNkulunkulu ngokwakhe, othembisa abakhulekeli bakhe ukuthi: “Mina, Jehova uNkulunkulu wakho, ngibambé isandla sakho sokunene, Mina engithi kuwe, ‘Ungesabi. Ngizokusiza mina mathupha.’”—Isaya 41:13.
[Umbhalo waphansi]
g Ukuze kube lula, sizobhekisela kumntwana womfana. Kodwa izimiso okuxoxwa ngazo ziyasebenza nasemantombazaneni.
[Isithombe ekhasini 11]
Ukudabuka kungafana namagagasi ashaya osebeni ngokungalindelekile