Indlela Yokwakha Umshado Ojabulisayo

“Indoda . . . [kumelwe] inamathele kumkayo babe nyamanye.”—GENESISE 2:24.

UMDALI wethu, uJehova uNkulunkulu, wasungula umshado njengesibopho saphakade phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. UGenesise 2:18, 22-24 uthi: “UJehova uNkulunkulu waqhubeka wathi: ‘Akukuhle ukuba umuntu ahlale yedwa. Ngizomenzela umsizi, abe umphelelisi wakhe.’ UJehova uNkulunkulu wabe eselwakha ubambo ayeluthathe kumuntu lwaba ngowesifazane, wayesemletha kumuntu. Khona-ke umuntu wathi: ‘Ekugcineni usekhona oyithambo lamathambo ami nenyama yenyama yami. Lo uzobizwa ngokuthi yiNdodakazi, ngoba uthathwe endodeni.’ Yingakho indoda iyoshiya uyise nonina inamathele kumkayo babe nyamanye.”

Kuyiqiniso, ukwakha umshado ojabulisayo akulula, kodwa kungenzeka ngokuqinisekile. Imibhangqwana eminingi esineminyaka engu-50, 60, noma ngaphezulu ishadile ibilokhu inemishado ejabulisayo. Isizwa yini? Yenza imizamo eqhubekayo nengenabugovu ukuze ‘yamukelwe’ yilabo eshade nabo. (1 Korinte 7:33, 34) Lokho kudinga umzamo. Uma uzimisele ukudela isikhathi sakho wenze nomzamo, nawe ungazakhela umshado ojabulisayo, oyohlala isikhathi eside.

Landela Iziqondiso Ngokucophelela

Inkampani yokwakha enokwethenjelwa ngeke iqale ukwakha ngaphandle kokubheka ipulani. Ngokufanayo, ngeke siphumelele ekwakheni umshado ojabulisayo ngaphandle kokubheka iziqondiso zikaNkulunkulu zokwakha umshado ojabulisayo. Zitholakala eZwini likaNkulunkulu. Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Yonke imiBhalo iphefumulelwe uNkulunkulu futhi inenzuzo . . . yokuqondisa izinto.”—2 Thimothewu 3:16.

Amadoda nabafazi bangafunda okuningi ngomshado ngokucabanga ngendlela uJesu asebenzelana ngayo nabafundi bakhe. Kungani kushiwo njalo? EBhayibhelini, ubuhlobo phakathi kukaJesu nabayobusa naye ezulwini bufaniswa nobuhlobo bendoda nomkayo. (2 Korinte 11:2) UJesu waqhubeka ethembekile kubangane bakhe, ngisho nangezikhathi ezinzima. “Wabathanda kwaze kwaba sekupheleni.” (Johane 13:1) Njengomholi onesihawu, uJesu wayekuqaphela njalo ukulinganiselwa nobuthakathaka babalandeli bakhe. Akazange afune okungaphezu kwalokho ababekwazi ukukwenza.—Johane 16:12.

Ngisho nalapho edunyazwe abangane bakhe abaseduze, uJesu waqhubeka emnene. Akazange abathethise, kodwa kunalokho, ngokuzithoba okuhambisana nokwesaba uNkulunkulu nangomusa, wazama ukubalungisa. (Mathewu 11:28-30; Marku 14:34-38; Johane 13:5-17) Ngakho-ke, uma uhlolisisa indlela uJesu abaphatha ngomusa ngayo abalandeli bakhe nendlela nabo abambonisa ngayo uthando, uyofunda izifundo ezisebenzayo zokwakha umshado ojabulisayo.—1 Petru 2:21.

Yakha Esisekelweni Esiqinile

Izilingo ezinzima ziyosihlasela nakanjani isisekelo somshado wenu. Lokhu kuyovivinya isisekelo sobuhlobo bakho noshade naye. Nokho, isisekelo esiqine kunazo zonke okungakhelwa kuso umshado ophumelelayo ukuzibophezela okusekelwe othandweni. UJesu waveza ukubaluleka kokuzibophezela lapho ethi: “Akekho okufanele ahlukanise umbhangqwana ohlanganiswe uNkulunkulu.” (Matthew 19:6, Contemporary English Version) Inkulumo ethi “akekho” yayihlanganisa ngisho nayo indoda nomkayo, abenze isifungo sokuhlala bethembekile komunye nomunye.

Abanye bangase bakubheke njengento ewumthwalo ukuzibophezela, ngoba kudinga ukuzidela okukhulu. Namuhla, abantu bakhetha ukwenza lokho okuvumelana nabo kunokuba bazidele ngokuzibophezela kumuntu othile.

Yini engaqinisa isibopho somshado? Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Amadoda kufanele athande omkawo njengemizimba yawo siqu.” (Efesu 5:28, 29) Ngokwengxenye, “ukuhlanganiswa” kusho ukuthi ukhathazeka ngenhlalakahle yalowo oshade naye ngendlela okhathazeka ngayo ngenhlalakahle yakho. Abantu abashadile kufanele bayeke indlela yokucabanga yokuthi “okwami” kodwa bathi “okwethu,” bangathi “mina” kodwa bathi “thina.”

Ukunqoba izikhathi ezinzima emshadweni kuyokwenza uhlakaniphe. Ukuhlakanipha okunjalo kungaletha injabulo. “Uyajabula umuntu othole ukuhlakanipha,” kusho izAga 3:13.

Sebenzisa Izinto Ezingashi

Ukuze indlu ihlale isikhathi eside futhi ibe ephephile, kufanele yakhiwe kahle. Ngakho-ke, zimisele ukwakha umshado wenu unombono wesikhathi eside. Yakha ngezinto eziqinile, ezingamelana nezinselele ezinjengomlilo ezivivinya ubuqotho bakho. Zazise njengegolide izimfanelo eziyigugu njengokuhlakanipha kokwesaba uNkulunkulu, ukupha, ukuqonda, ukwesaba uNkulunkulu, imfudumalo, ukwazisa nokuthanda imithetho kaNkulunkulu kanye nokholo lwangempela.

Injabulo nokwaneliseka emshadweni akwakhelwa ezintweni ezibonakalayo noma entuthukweni kwezokuziphilisa. Kwakhelwa enhliziyweni nasengqondweni, futhi lezi zici ziqiniswa amaqiniso avela eZwini likaNkulunkulu. Isikhuthazo esithi ‘Yilowo nalowo makaqhubeke eqaphela indlela akha ngayo’ singasebenza nasemshadweni.—1 Korinte 3:10.

Lapho Kuba Nezinkinga

Ukuze isakhiwo sikwazi ukuma siqinile isikhathi eside, kubalulekile ukuba kube nohlelo oluhle lokusinakekela. Lapho indoda nomfazi besekelana njalo emigomweni yabo nalapho bazisana futhi behloniphana, umshado wabo uhlala uqinile. Ubugovu abubi nayo indawo, futhi ulaka luyalawuleka.

Izingxabango ezingaxazululiwe nokucindezeleka kungalubulala uthando nokusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni. Umphostoli uPawulu weluleka amadoda: “Nina madoda, qhubekani nithanda omkenu futhi ningabathukutheleli kakhulu.” (Kolose 3:19) Isimiso esifanayo siyasebenza nakubafazi. Lapho abangane bomshado bephishekela ukucabangela, umusa nokuqonda, bathuthukisa injabulo nokwaneliseka. Ukugwema ulaka nokuthethisana kuvimbela ingxabano lapho kuba nezikhathi ezinzima. Umphostoli uPawulu wanxusa: “Yibani nomusa komunye nomunye, ninobubele besisa, nithethelelane ngokukhululekile.”—Efesu 4:32.

Kuthiwani lapho umuzwa wokungabi namandla, ukucikeka, noma ukunganakwa ukubangela ukuba ucasuke? Ngomoya ozolile, yisho ngokucacile isizathu sokukhathazeka kwakho kulowo oshade naye. Nokho, kungcono kakhulu ukuvumela uthando lusibekele izinto eziwubala.—1 Petru 4:8.

Enye indoda, esike yabhekana nezinselele emshadweni wayo osuneminyaka engu-35, ithi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukucasule kangakanani umngane wakho womshado, akufanele “niyeke ukukhulumisana.” Ngokuhlakanipha iyanezela, “Ningalinge niyeke ukuthandana.”

Ungawakha Umshado Ojabulisayo!

Kuyiqiniso, ukwakha umshado ojabulisayo akulula. Nokho, lapho abangane bomshado bezimisele ukusebenza kanzima ukuba bafake uNkulunkulu emshadweni wabo, kuyoba khona injabulo nokulondeka. Ngakho-ke, bhekisisa ingokomoya lomkhaya wakho; yibani nesisekelo esiqinile sokuzibopha emshadweni wenu. Futhi khumbula ukuthi ngokwamazwi kaJesu, udumo lomshado ojabulisayo aluyi nje endodeni noma kumfazi kuphela. Kunalokho, luya ngokuyinhloko kuMsunguli womshado, uJehova uNkulunkulu. “Lokho uNkulunkulu akubophele ndawonye makungahlukaniswa muntu.”—Mathewu 19:6.

OKWENGEZIWE ONGAKUFUNDA

Incwadi ethi Imfihlo Yenjabulo Yomkhaya, enyatheliswa oFakazi BakaJehova, inikeza ukusikisela okuwusizo kokwakha umshado ojabulisayo futhi ophumelelayo. Amakhulu ezinkulungwane emibhangqwana eshadile emhlabeni wonke aye athola ukuthi izeluleko zayo ezisebenzayo ezisekelwe eBhayibhelini ziye zawasiza ukuba athuthukise imishado yawo.—Bheka ikhasi 32 lalo magazini.

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Yini Engakusiza Ekwakheni Umshado Ojabulisayo?

◼ Tadishani iZwi likaNkulunkulu njalo ndawonye, bese nithandaza kuNkulunkulu ukuba anisize futhi aniqondise ekuxazululeni izinkinga.—IzAga 3:5, 6; Filipi 4:6, 7; 2 Thimothewu 3:16, 17.

◼ Yiba nesithakazelo sobulili kumngane wakho womshado kuphela.—IzAga 5:15-21; Hebheru 13:4.

◼ Khulumisanani ngokukhululekile, ngokwethembeka nangothando ngezinkinga nokushayisana kwemibono.—IzAga 15:22; 20:5; 25:11.

◼ Khuluma nomngane wakho womshado ngomusa nangokucabangela; gwema ukuvutha ngolaka, ukubelesela nezinkulumo ezinokhahlo ezigxekayo.—IzAga 15:1; 20:3; 21:9; 31:26, 28; Efesu 4:31, 32.

◼ Sebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli ngokuthobeka ngisho noma unomuzwa wokuthi umngane wakho womshado akakwenzi konke okufanele ngabe uyakwenza.—Roma 14:12; 1 Petru 3:1, 2.

◼ Kulwele kanzima ukuhlakulela izimfanelo ezingokomoya ezichazwe eBhayibhelini.—Galathiya 5:22, 23; Kolose 3:12-14; 1 Petru 3:3-6.

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Landela iziqondiso zikaNkulunkulu zokwakha umshado ezitholakala eBhayibhelini

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Yenza uthando olungenabugovu nokwethembeka kube yisisekelo sakho esiqinile

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Hlakulela izimfanelo ezingokomoya ezingamelana nezinselele ezinzima

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Kudingeka umzamo ukuze ulondoloze umshado ojabulisayo