Indlela Yokuvikela Izingane Zakho

“Abazali banendima ebaluleke kakhulu ekuvikeleni izingane ekusebenziseni kabi izidakamizwa notshwala. Kumelwe babe yizibonelo nomthombo wokwaziswa ezinganeni zabo.”—UDONNA SHALALA, UNOBHALA WE-DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES E-UNITED STATES.

NGAKHO-KE, njengomzali, unendima esemqoka kule mpi yokuvikela izingane ekusebenziseni kabi izidakamizwa. Ngeshwa, akubona bonke abazali abangase baqonde ukuthi leyo ndima ibaluleke kangakanani. “Ubaba wayehlala ematasa,” kukhumbula u-Ireneu, ibhungu laseBrazil. “Wayengavamile ukuxoxa kakhulu nathi. Asikaze selulekwe ngezidakamizwa.”

Ngokuphambene, cabangela lokho u-Alecxandros, elinye ibhungu laseBrazil, elikukhumbulayo: “Lapho kunezinhlelo ze-TV ezimayelana nemilutha yezidakamizwa, ubaba wayesibiza mina nabafowethu ukuba sizozibuka. Wayesibonisa isimo esinyantisayo imilutha eyayikuso ngenxa yokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa. Ngezinye izikhathi wayebamba lelo thuba asibuze ukuthi ikhona yini enye intsha esikoleni esasiyibone isebenzisa izidakamizwa. Ngaleyo ndlela wayesixwayisa ngezingozi zokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa.”

Usuke waxoxa yini ngezingozi zezidakamizwa nezingane zakho? Ukuze wenze kanjalo, kungase kudingeke uthole ulwazi ngale ndaba. Abazali abangamaKristu bangasiza izingane zabo ukuba ziqonde ukuthi ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa ngokungemthetho kuyazilimaza ngokomoya. IBhayibheli lisikhuthaza ukuba sigcine imizimba yethu ihlanzekile kukho konke ukungcola, okungokomzimba nokungokomoya. (2 Korinte 7:1) Ukufunda iBhayibheli njalo nezingane zakho kungaba yithuluzi elinamandla lokuzivikela.a

‘Umngane Oyisifuba’

Kubalulekile futhi ukuba wakhe ubuhlobo bokwethembana nezingane zakho. UJehova ‘ungumngane oyisifuba’ wabantwana bakhe basemhlabeni. (Jeremiya 3:4) Ingabe wena ungumngane oyisifuba wengane yakho? Uyayilalela yini ingane yakho? Ingabe ikuthola kulula ukukutshela izinkinga zayo? Ingabe uyashesha ukuyithethisa kunokuba uyituse? Zinike isikhathi sokuyazi ingane yakho. Ingabe inabangane? Bangobani? Kakade, iBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Ukuzihlanganisa nababi konakalisa imikhuba emihle.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Ungesabi ukubeka imingcele eqinile noma ukunikeza isiyalo sothando. IBhayibheli lithi: “Yishaye indodana yakho khona-ke iyokulethela ukuphumula inike umphefumulo wakho injabulo enkulu.”—IzAga 29:17.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungazithalalisi izingozi ingane yakho ebhekene nazo. Ngokunganaki, abanye abazali bangase bacabange ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi izingane zabo zivela emkhayeni ohloniphekile, azilona neze uhlobo olungasebenzisa izidakamizwa. Kodwa uDkt. José Henrique Silveira uchaza ukuthi: “Umdayisi wezidakamizwa uthanda ukwakha ubungane nezingane zabantu abavelele ngoba wenza imali eningi ngazo.” Yebo, uma umuntu osemusha ohlonishwayo engase anxenxelwe ekusebenziseni izidakamizwa, ngokuvamile enye intsha ingamlandela.

Ngakho bhekana namaqiniso. Zazi izimpawu zokuqala ezibonisa ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe ingane yakho isiqale ukuba unkom’ idla yodwa, ukucindezeleka, ukungabi nabungane, noma ukungalaleli? Ingabe iye yamonyuka kubangane bayo abadala noma emalungwini omkhaya ngendlela engachazeki? Uma kunjalo, kumelwe ukhathazeke.

Nokho, kuyadabukisa ukusho ukuthi naphezu kwemizamo etusekayo yabazali, enye intsha isavuma ukucindezelwa bese ilinga izidakamizwa. Kumelwe wenzeni uma ingane yakho yenza kanjalo?

Lapho Osemusha Esebenzisa Izidakamizwa

“Lapho abazali bami bethola ukuthi umfowethu usebenzisa izidakamizwa,” kusho u-Ireneu, “kwase kuyizinyanga eziningana ezisebenzisa. Ngenxa yokuthi babengakucabangi nakukucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka enye yezingane zabo ibe umlutha wezidakamizwa, lwabaqeda uvalo. Ekuqaleni, okuwukuphela kwento ubaba ayeyicabanga kwakuwukumjezisa ngokhahlo umfowethu.”

Lapho bethola ukuthi ingane isebenzisa izidakamizwa, ukusabela kokuqala kwabazali kungase kube intukuthelo, ukukhungatheka, nomuzwa wokuba yizehluleki. Nokho iphepha elinyatheliswa uMnyango Wezemfundo wase-United States liluleka kanje: “Ungethuki! Futhi ungazibeki cala. Okubalulekile manje ukuba ubeke umoya phansi [bese] uthola kahle ukuthi kuqhubekani. . . . Umkhuba wokusebenzisa izidakamizwa uyanqandeka. Ukuluthwa yizidakamizwa kuyisifo eselaphekayo.”

Yebo, yiba nomusa kodwa uqine ukuze isimo singashubi. Ukuthukuthela ngokweqile noma ukukhungatheka kungase kuthiye ukululama kwengane yakho. Kanti-ke ufuna ukusiza ingane yakho ukuba ikhule ibe umuntu othenjwayo owusebenzisayo umqondo wakhe. Ngakho, zinike isikhathi esidingekile sokubonisana ngobuqotho nale ngane ukuze uyisize ibone izinzuzo zokuhlukana nezidakamizwa. Zama ukuthola okusenhliziyweni yale ngane ephambukayo, futhi uzimisele ukulalela.—IzAga 20:5.

Nakhu okunye u-Ireneu akukhumbulayo: “Kamuva, abazali bami bashintsha indlela yabo yokubhekana nalesi simo baqala ukumluleka umfowethu, bambekela imingcele yezindawo angaya kuzo, bashintsha amakilasi ezifundo zakhe ukuze agweme ukuhlangana nabantu afunda nabo abafanayo nsuku zonke. Baqala ukulawula ukuthi ujwayelana nawobani nokumnaka ngokwengeziwe yena nawo wonke amanye amalungu omkhaya.”

Cabangela izindlela abanye abazali abaye bangenela ngazo ngokuphumelelayo lapho bethola ukuthi izingane zabo zazisebenzisa izidakamizwa.

Ukungenela Okuphumelelayo

“Sehlelwé into embi kakhulu,” kuchaza uMarcelo, umlisa ohlala eSão Paulo, eBrazil. “Mina nomkami sasingakaze siphawule lutho oluhlukile ekuziphatheni kwamadodana ethu amabili asemancane. Ayevamisile ukuphuma ayodla nenye intsha esasicabanga ukuthi siyazi kahle. Koma amathe mhla umngane wethu esitshela ukuthi abafana bethu ababili babebhema insangu. Nokho, lapho bebuzwa ngalokhu, bavuma ngaphandle kokudaza inkani.”

UMarcelo wabhekana kanjani nezenzo zamadodana akhe? Uyavuma: “Mina nomkami asikufihlanga ukuthi kwakusizwisé ubuhlungu. Kodwa nakuba sakulahla ukusebenzisa kwabo izidakamizwa, asizange sibenze bangabaze ukuthi ngamunye kubo wayesabalulekile. Savumelana ngokuthi umgomo wethu kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kuqhubeke kuyoba ukusiza amadodana ethu alulame kulo mkhuba wokusebenzisa izidakamizwa. Sawatshela ngesasihlose ukukwenza, futhi womabili ayamukela imibandela esawabekela yona. Ayezoqhubeka nesikole futhi aqhubeke esebenza. Ayengeke esahamba wodwa. Sawabonisa uthando nsuku zonke, hhayi nje ngezikhathi ezikhethekile. Njengoba ngangisebenza njengomakhi, ngangihamba nawo kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka. Saqala ukuthola injabulo eyengeziwe, sichitha isikhathi esiningi sikhuluma ngekusasa nesidingo sokuba nemigomo ezuzisayo ekuphileni.” Ngaleyo ndlela uMarcelo nomkakhe bakwazi ukusiza amadodana abo ukuba agqashule emkhubeni wokusebenzisa izidakamizwa.

Cabangela isibonelo somunye futhi ubaba waseBrazil. Indodana yakhe uRoberto ikhumbula lokhu: “Lapho ubaba ethola ukuthi umfowethu wayesebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, esikhundleni sokumgxeka noma sokumjezisa ngokhahlo, ubaba wazibonakalisa engumngane futhi umfowethu wamethemba. Wabazi abangane bomfowethu nezindawo ayevame ukuya kuzo, futhi waqala ukubonisana nomfowethu ukuthi wayengazidingi izidakamizwa noma abangane abanjalo. Ubaba wamtshela ukuthi wayengakuthandi ukungalali ebusuku efunana naye.” Elwela ukusiza lo mfana owayesenkingeni, usinganina wamsekela ngokugcwele umyeni wakhe. Bobabili baqaphela ukuthi kwakungamelwe bapholise maseko futhi banquma ukumsiza ekhaya.—Bheka ibhokisi elithi “Ukuthola Usizo.”

Ungaliphonsi Ithawula!

Ukukhulisa izingane kulezi “zikhathi ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo” kungaba yinto ekhandlayo neyinselele. (2 Thimothewu 3:1) Noma kunjalo, akufanele nakanye udebeselele izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo nezingokomoya. (Mathewu 5:3) Yeka ukuthi ayiqiniso kangakanani amazwi ezAga 24:10: “Ingabe uzibonise udangele ngosuku losizi? Amandla akho ayoba mancane.” Ungathola amandla engeziwe ngokuzihlanganisa namaKristu eqiniso. Emihlanganweni eHholo LoMbuso LoFakazi BakaJehova, ungathola ukusekelwa nesikhuthazo.—Hebheru 10:24, 25.

Ngempela, ukufundisa umkhaya wakho ukuba ube nokholo kuNkulunkulu kungaba isivikelo sakho esinamandla kunazo zonke ekulweni nokusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa. Yebo, uNkulunkulu akayiphoqi intsha ukuba ilandele inkambo ethile yokuphila. Kodwa unikeza iseluleko esihluzekile. Njengoba kulotshwe kumaHubo 32:8, uNkulunkulu uthi: “Ngizokwenza ube nokuqondisisa ngikufundise indlela okufanele uhambe ngayo. Ngiyonika iseluleko iso lami likubhekile.” NjengoBaba wasezulwini onothando, uNkulunkulu ufuna ukuvikela intsha ekonakaleni ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, nangokomoya. (IzAga 2:10-12) Qiniseka ukuthi uNkulunkulu uyobasiza futhi abasekele nabazali abazimisele ukukhulisa izingane zabo “ngesiyalo nangokuqondisa umqondo kukaJehova.”—Efesu 6:4.

Yize kunjalo, ukucindezela kokukhulisa izingane esimweni sanamuhla kungasenza sikhungatheke ngezinye izikhathi. Lizotholakala yini ikhambi maduzane?

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 8]

“Umkhuba wokusebenzisa izidakamizwa uyanqandeka. Ukuluthwa yizidakamizwa kuyisifo eselaphekayo.”—UMNYANGO WEZEMFUNDO E-UNITED STATES

[Ibhokisi ekhasini 6]

Ukuthola Usizo

Abanye abazali bangase banqume ukuthi kuyoba ngcono ukuba izingane zabo zithole ukunakekela kwabezokwelapha lapho ziyeka ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa. Ukuthi abazali bayofuna nhloboni yokwelapha kuyisinqumo esishiyelwa kubo. Kodwa njengoba izinga lokunakekela elitholakala emitholampilo yokuvuselelwa kwesimilo lihluka kakhulu, abazali bayobe benza kahle ngokuqala ngokuhlolisisa izinto ngaphambi kokuvuma ukwelapha okuthile. Ngokwesazi sezifo zengqondo u-Arthur Guerra de Andrade, uprofesa waseSão Paulo University eBrazil, amaphesenti angu-30 kuphela alabo abelashwa emitholampilo alulamayo enkingeni yokuluthwa yizidakamizwa. Ngakho, abazali kumelwe babe nendima eqavile ekululameni kwezingane zabo, ngisho noma kuhileleke ochwepheshe bezokwelapha.

[Ibhokisi/Izithombe ekhasini 7]

Usizo Kwabase-benzisa Kabi Izidakamizwa Abalulamayo

Ingabe ungosemusha ozama ukugqashula ekusebenziseni kabi izidakamizwa? Uma kunjalo uyothola ukuthi ukufunda iBhayibheli nokusebenzisa lokho okufundayo kuyokusiza emizamweni yakho yokululama. Ungase ukuthole kuwusizo ikakhulukazi ukufunda incwadi yamaHubo njengoba kaningi iveza imizwa ebuhlungu okungenzeka ukuthi iyakuhlupha manje. Ukuthandaza ngobuqotho kuNkulunkulu, umthululele ngempela imicabango yakho ejulile, nakho kuyokusiza. (Filipi 4:6, 7) Uyoqala ukuzwa ukuthi uyakukhathalela ngempela futhi ufuna ukuba uphumelele. Kodwa njengoba uNkulunkulu engaphoqi muntu ukuba enze ngokuphambene nalokho akufunayo, kubalulekile ukuba ube nesifiso esiqotho sokuhlukana nezidakamizwa. Umhubi uDavide, owasekelwa nguNkulunkulu izikhathi eziningi, wathi: “Ngathemba uJehova ngobuqotho, ngakho wathambekisela indlebe yakhe kimi wakuzwa ukukhalela kwami usizo. Futhi wangenyusa emgodini odumayo, odakeni lwenzika. Khona-ke waphakamisela izinyawo zami edwaleni; wazimisa zaqina izinyathelo zami.” (IHubo 40:1, 2) Namuhla labo abafuna ukuzihlanza futhi bakhonze uNkulunkulu basekelwa ngendlela efanayo.

[Isithombe ekhasini 5]

“Ubaba wasixwayisa ngezingozi”—U-Alecxandros

[Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Zinike isikhathi sokuxwayisa izingane zakho ngezingozi ezingokomzimba nezingokomoya zokusebenzisa izidakamizwa

[Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Qaphela abangane bezingane zakho

[Isithombe ekhasini 8, 9]

Ukusingatha izindaba ngomoya ophansi kunganqanda isimo singashubi