“Bangitshela Ukuthi Ngeke Ngiphinde Ngihambe!”
LAPHO eneminyaka engu-20, uEd wahileleka engozini embi yemoto. Lapho ephaphama wayengakwazi ukuvuka embhedeni. Wabona ukuthi wayekhubazekile kodwa wacabanga ukuthi kwakuzoba okwesikhashana nje kuphela. UEd wakhumbula okwenzeka kamuva esibhedlela: “Bangitshela ukuthi ngeke ngiphinde ngikwazi ukuhamba!” Wayekhubazeke kusuka esifubeni kuya ezansi.
Ubaba kaEd wakhumbula: “Ngaphela amandla lapho indodana yami ilimala. Wayeyinsizwa ephilile, kodwa manje wayengeke esahamba. Kwavele kwathiya ukuphila kwakhe ngokuphazima kweso.” UEd wayenza inkonzo yesikhathi esigcwele ebizwa oFakazi BakaJehova ngokuthi ukuphayona.
Enye insizwa eseminyakeni yama-20 uBill, ngokudlala yaziphonsa emadlambini ogwini lolwandle yazishayisa ngekhanda enqwabeni yesihlabathi eyayilapho. Ngokushesha, yayingasakwazi ukunyakaza noma ukuphefumula. Ngosizo lwabangane ababeseduze, uBill akaminzanga. Nokho, wakhubazeka kusukela entanyeni kuya ezansi. Odokotela batshela uBill ukuthi naye wayengenakuphinde akwazi ukuhamba.
Ukusabela Kokuqala
UBill uyavuma: “Ngangifuna ukuzibulala, kodwa ngangingenakukwenza embhedeni wasesibhedlela.” UBill wayekhonze eMpini yaseVietnam futhi wayehlela ukuba umshayeli wendiza. Lapho elimala ngo-1969, amaphupho akhe onke ashabalala, futhi wabona kungekho sizathu sokuphila.
Ukusabela kokuqala kukaEd kwakwehlukile lapho etshelwa ukuthi wayekhubazeke unomphela. “Angizange ngidumazeke, futhi isizathu kwakuwukholo lwami ezithembisweni zikaNkulunkulu eziseBhayibhelini. Ngabona ukuthi isimo sami singaba esihlala njalo manje kodwa ngeke sibe esihlala njalo phakade.” Ngenxa yethemba analo, uEd uye wakwazi ukubhekana nokugogeka kwakhe ngokuphumelelayo iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-25 manje.
Isidingo Sokubhekana Nenselele
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uBill, wayengenalo ulwazi ngezithembiso zikaNkulunkulu. Kodwa ngolunye usuku kwenzeka okuthile okwamshukumisela ukuba enze okuthile ngobuyena.
Ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisishiyagalombili ehleli nje esibhedlela, uBill waqhutshwa wayiswa endlini yokugezela ukuze ayoshefwa umhlengi wesilisa. Wathi: “Lapho ngibuka esibukweni, ngabona umuntu owayengeyimi!”
UBill wayekade eyindoda enamandla enesisindo esingamakhilogremu angu-90, engamamitha angu-1,85 ubude, kodwa manje wayesengamathambo angamakhilogremu angu-40 kuphela. Wenqaba ukukholelwa ukuthi umfanekiso owawusesibukweni wawungowakhe. Lokhu akubona kwabangela umoya wokulwa ukuze amukele inselele yokugogeka kwakhe. UBill uthi: “Unyaka wokuqala wokukhubazeka kwakho uyisikhathi esibucayi, ngoba yilapho onquma khona ukuthi iyiphi indlela ozohamba ngayo.”
Ukubhekana Nobunzima
UEd akayena umuntu onovalo, kodwa uyavuma ukuthi imizwelo yakhe iyashintshashintsha. UEd uyachaza: “Ngezinye izikhathi angikwazi ukwenza izinto ezilula njengokufinyelela kokuthile, futhi ngiyacindezeleka.”
UBill ukuthole kunzima kakhulu ukuphila nomzimba olinganiselwe, kanye nengqondo engalinganiselwe. Wathi: “Kufana nokuba nengqondo enenjini yendiza emzimbeni oyisihlibhi.”
Kukhona nezinkinga zomzimba ezihlangene nokulimala komgogodla, ezinjengokungakwazi ukuzilawula ukuya ngasese, izilonda ezibangelwa ukuhlala ngendlela eyodwa kanye nezinkinga zokuphefumula. UEd uye waba nenkinga yezinso kusukela ekulimaleni kwakhe, futhi unezikhathi ezisukela ezinsukwini eziyisithupha kuya kweziyisikhombisa lapho eba nezinga lokushisa elingamadegree angu-40 celsius. Ukungakwazi ukuzilawula ukuya ngasese kukhungathekisa kakhulu kuBill. Njengoba ekubeka: “Awukwazi ukuzivumelanisa nokuba nomzimba womntwana.”
UEd ukhuthaza bonke abantu abagogekile ukuba bakwazi ukuzimela ngangokunokwenzeka. Uthi: “Zama konke okusemandleni ukuba uzenzele ngokwakho, futhi uyokwenza okuningi ngokwengeziwe.” Kungalesosizathu, lapho ephuma esibhedlela, into yokuqala ayenza kwakuwukufaka iziqondiso zesandla emotweni yakhe ukuze akwazi ukushayela. Manje uEd usebenzisa ngisho neloli elilungiswe ngokukhethekile emsebenzini wakhe wokuhlanza izindlu.
UBill uyeluleka: “Zama ukukhohlwa ukugogeka kwakho, futhi uphume, uziphilele ngakho konke okusemandleni akho. Uma ungaziphathi njengomuntu ogogekile, abantu ngeke bakuphathe njengomuntu ogogekile.” UBill wenza lokho akushumayelayo. Uye waba nebhizinisi futhi waliqhuba ngokuphumelelayo, ehamba ngenqola yakhe yohlobo lwasegalofini, isihlalo sakhe sabakhubazekile, nangezinduku.
Yini Engenziwa?
Kungashiwo ukuthi esinye isithiyo somuntu ogogekile sisezingqondweni zalabo abangagogekile. Indlela engcono yokususa lesithiyo iwukuqonda. Abantu abakhubazekile bafuna ukucatshangelwa nokuqonda okufanayo okungaboniswa umuntu ongagogekile emzimbeni.
Abantu abathile babonakala bezizwa besongelwa futhi bengazinzile uma bebhekana nothile ogogekile. UBill uthi: “Eqinisweni sonke sikhubazekile ngandlela-thile. Abanye bamane nje bakhubazeke kakhulu kunabanye.” Labo abakhubazekile bangabantu nje okwenzeka, ngokwesibonelo, ukuba bangakwazi ukuhamba, ukubona noma ukuzwa njengoba kwenza abanye abantu. Kubalulekile ukuba sibheke noma yikuphi ukukhubazeka njengokuyisimo esingenakugwenywa futhi sibone umuntu ophelele.
UEd wathi: “Ngikwazisa kakhulu lapho abantu bengibheka njenganoma yimuphi umuntu. Buka mina. Ungabuki isihlalo.” Khona-ke wayeselandisa okuhlangenwe nakho yena nomkakhe ababa nakho esitolo sokudlela: “Uweta wesifazane wathatha i-oda lomkami kuqala wayesebuza kuye, esikhundleni sami, ukuthi ngifunani. Angisona isithulu! Kuphela angikwazi ukuhamba.”
“Abantu abaningi bafuna ukubonisa ukucabangela kubantu abagogekile,” kuchaza uEd, “kodwa abakwazi abangakwenza.” Iseluleko sakhe yilesi: “Into engcono ukulinda bese uthola ukuthi yini ongayenza ngaphambi kokuba ungenele bese wenza okuthile.”
Ngakho qiniseka ukuthi uyabuza kuqala, “Ingabe ngingasiza?” Noma, “Ingabe kukhona engingasiza ngakho?” Ungacabangi ukuthi umuntu ogogekile uyalufuna usizo lwakho; angase angaludingi.
UBill uyaluleka: “Okujabulisa kakhulu kumuntu okhubazekile, ukumphatha njengomuntu ovamile, ukusebenzelana naye ngendlela obungenza ngayo kunoma ubani omunye.” Yiqiniso, abanye bangakuthola kunzima ukukwenza lokhu. Kungase kube khona isithiyo esingokwengqondo noma esingokomzwelo phakathi kwabo nabantu abakhubazekile. Nokho, lapho sibazi kangcono njengabantu ngabanye, yilapho sicabanga kancane ngokukhubazeka kwabo.
UEd, oseye waba sebandleni loFakazi BakaJehova elifanayo iminyaka eminingi uyachaza: “Abaningi babangane bami abangicabangeli njengomuntu ogogekile. Eqinisweni, ngezinye izikhathi, emsebenzini wethu wasobala wokushumayela, bangithumela empindelweni endlini enezitebhisi eziyishumi! Ngakho ngibuyela emuva ngibatshele ukuba bathumele omunye.”
Ingabe uEd uyacasuka lapho abangane bakhe bekhohlwa ngokulinganiselwa kwakhe okungokomzimba? Kungokuphambene. Njengoba elandisa: “Kuhle ukuthi bacabanga ukuthi angidingi lusizo. Ngiyakwazisa lokho, ngoba ngiba nomuzwa wokuthi kubo angikhubazekile, kunalokho ngingomunye nje umuntu ovamile.”
Usizo Luyatholakala
Eminyakeni yamuva kuye kwenziwa intuthuko enkulu ekunikezeni usizo kulabo abakhubazekile ngokomzimba. Kunezinhlangano eziningi, imikhiqizo, nezinkonzo ezitholakalayo ukuze basizwe bajabulele ukuphila kokuzimela. Ezindaweni eziningi, umuntu adinga ukukwenza nje ukubheka encwadini yocingo yasendaweni ukuze athole ukwaziswa ngalezinhlangano nezinkonzo.
Izakhiwo nezinto eziningi zikawonk’ uwonke manje ziklanyelwe ukuba zisetshenziswe nangabantu abakhubazekile. Ezinye izinkampane zezindiza neminyango yezohambo ilungiselela ukuvakasha okukhethekile kwabakhubazekile. Futhi namuhla abakhubazeke izandla nezinyawo bangajabulela ukuhamba ngokukhululeka ezimotweni nasezinqoleni ezilungiswe ngokukhethekile.
Ubuchwepheshe banamuhla, lobo ngezinye izikhathi obuye benza kwenzeka ukugwema ukungasebenzi kwemizwa elimele, buye benza abanye abantu abakhubazekile bakwazi ukuhamba. Nokho uDkt. J. Petrofsky umcwaningi wokuqala kulomkhakha, uyavuma ukuthi abantu bangase babe namathemba akhohlisayo ngokuphathelene nobuchwepheshe obunjalo. Bangase bakholwe ukuthi bangasiza noma ubani okhubazekile ukuba aphinde ahambe. UDkt. Petrofsky uthi: “Ongakwenza nje kuphela ukuba uthembeke, futhi uzame ukubatshela isimo salokho kucwaninga njengoba sinjalo. Uyazi, aselaphi noma yini.”
Ikhambi Langempela
Nokho, ikhambi langempela nelihlala njalo lakho konke ukukhubazeka ngokomzimba ekugcineni lizoba khona. Lelithemba eliqinisekile lokukwazi ukuhamba futhi liye lamqinisa uEd futhi lamsiza ukuba abhekane nokugogeka kwakhe yonke leminyaka. Isithembiso seBhayibheli sithi: “Khona amehlo ezimpumputhe ayakuvulwa, zivuleke nezindlebe zezithulu. Khona unyonga luyakutshekula njengendluzele, nolimi lwesimungulu luyakuhuba.”—Isaya 35:5, 6.
Ukwelashwa kwazo zonke izifo kuyobonakala khona kanye lapha emhlabeni lapho uMbuso kaNkulunkulu uthatha isikhundla sokubusa kwabo bonke ohulumeni babantu. (Daniyeli 2:44) Ngempela, uMbuso kaNkulunkulu, lowo uKristu afundisa abalandeli bakhe ukuba bawuthandazele, uyoletha izwe elisha lapho isithembiso seBhayibheli siyogcwaliseka khona: “Abakhé khona abayikusho ukuthi: Ngiyagula.”—Isaya 33:24; Mathewu 6:9, 10.
Ngesikhathi sengozi yakhe, uBill wayengayazi incazelo yalezithembiso zeBhayibheli, nakuba ayenenhlonipho ejulile ngeBhayibheli. Phakathi neminyaka yokuqala eyisihlanu yokugogeka kwakhe, waqala ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa kakhulu. Uthi: “Ngangiye ngasebenzisa izidakamizwa eVietnam ukuze ngibalekele izinto zakhona ezisabekayo, futhi kamuva ngazisebenzisa ukuze ngibekezelele impilo yasesihlalweni sabakhubazekile.”
Nokho, ngo-1974 ngosizo loFakazi BakaJehova, uBill waqala ukukholelwa ukuthi iBhayibheli liyiqiniso ngempela nokuthi izithembiso zalo zinokwethenjelwa ngokuphelele. Wathi: “Kusukela lapho kuqhubeke, okunjengokungathi ‘inkungu’ kwasuka emehlweni ami!” Ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisikhombisa uBill wanikezela ukuphila kwakhe kuJehova uNkulunkulu, ngokushesha yena nomkakhe ndawonye baqala ukuphila enkonzweni yesikhathi esigcwele njengamaphayona.
Ecabanga ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kwesikhathi esidlule, uBill uyavuma ukuthi ingozi yakhe nokugogeka okwalandela kwakubuhlungu. Uyagcizelela: “Kodwa ngiye ngazuza okuningi kakhulu ekulimaleni.” Wayengakusho kanjani lokho?
Uyachaza: “Ngiyangabaza ukuthi bengizoba umKristu weqiniso namuhla ukuba kwakungeve kungenxa yokugogeka. Ngaphambili, ngangiziqhenya kakhulu, nginezifiso ezinkulu futhi mhlawumbe ngangingeke ngihlale endaweni eyodwa ngokwanele ukuze ngamukele isigijimi sobuKristu.”
Ngakho manje, njengoEd, uBill unokholo oluqinile lokuthi ngokushesha ezweni elisha likaNkulunkulu uyophinde awusebenzise ngokugcwele umzimba wakhe. Ngaphezu kwesimo esibonakala singaniki-themba, noma ubani okhubazekile angathembela ngokufanayo emandleni kaNkulunkulu aphilisayo. Inhliziyo yomuntu onjalo ingaqiniswa usuku nosuku ukuqiniseka kokuthi: “Ngiyazi ukuthi ngiyophinde ngihambe!”—Inikelwe.
[Isithombe ekhasini 23]
Naphezu kokukhubazeka kwakhe, uEd uhlanganyela ngokugcwele enkonzweni yobuKristu