Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ukuhleba—Iyini Ingozi Yakho?

“Ichitha [intsha] . . . isikhathi sayo izula ihleba komunye nomunye.”—uSocrates, c. 400 B.C.E.

‘INGABE uzizwile ezamuva?’ ‘Uyaz’ ukuthini?’ ‘Lalela ngikuxoxele lokhu! ‘Uyakwazi yini ukugcina imfihlo?’ Zonke lezi izendlalelo ezivamile zokudlulisa imfihlo, izindaba ezithakazelisayo noma ngisho izindaba ezidonsa ukunaka kwabanye ngabanye—umkhuba ngokuvamile owaziwa ngokuthi ukuhleba.

Njengasosukwini lukaSocrates, intsha isawuthanda lomkhuba, futhi abacwaningi babiza ukuhleba ngokuthi isici esikhona kuyo yonke indawo esinqamula imingcele yohlanga, ubudala, namasiko. Ingani, ngokweJournal of Communication, ngisho nezingane ezincane ziyahleba, “ngokoqobo kusukela esikhathini lapho sezingakwazi ukukhuluma futhi ziqale ukuqaphela abanye.”

Ingabe kuyiqiniso ukuthi ukuhleba kuwumkhuba wabesifazane kuphela? Amanga! Abacwaningi uLevin noArluke bahlaziya izingxoxo zeqembu labafundi besilisa nabesifazane basekoleji. Waba yini umphumela? Abesilisa bazibonakalisa bethambekele kakhulu ekuhlebeni njengabesifazane!

Nokho, kungani sithola ukuhleba kukhanga kangaka? Ingabe sikhona isizathu esihle sokukuxwaya?

Ukuhleba—Kuhle, Akulungile, Futhi Kubi

Ukuhleba inkulumo engenalusizo. Nokho, ngaso sonke isikhathi ayigxili ezintweni, kodwa ezicini, ukwehluleka, ukunqoba, kanye nokungaphumeleli kwabantu. Inkulumo enjalo akudingekile ngempela ukuba ibe elimazayo noma enenzondo. Kakade, kungokwemvelo ngomuntu ukuba abe nesithakazelo kwabanye abantu. IBhayibheli lize ngisho liseluleke ukuba ‘singabheki okwethu, kepha sibheke nokwabanye.’—Filipi 2:4.

Khona-ke, uma kulawulwa ngokucophelela, ukuhleba kungase kube ukuhlanganyelwa kokwaziswa okuwusizo. Ngokwesibonelo, wazi kanjani ukuthi uNkz. Jones uyagula futhi udinga usizo lokuyelwa esitolo, ukuthi umngane wakho uJohn ucindezelekile ngokulahlekelwa itoho lakhe langemva kwesikole, noma ukuthi umakhelwane wakho uSally uyathutha? Ngesimemezelo esikhishwe ngokuqondile? Cha, ngokuvamile kakhulu, lezinto zaziwa ngengevu engasuki kulowomuntu ngokuqondile—uma uthanda ungakubiza ngokuthi ukuhleba.

Igama lakuqala lesiGreki elisetshenziswe eBhayibhelini elisho “izinhlebi” lavela esenzweni esasisho “ukuchichima ngamazwi.” (1 Thimothewu 5:13; A Greek English Lexicon, ngoLiddell noScott) Sikhunjuzwa ngamazwi akuzAga 10:19: “Lapho amazwi emaningi khona, akuphuthi ukuphambeka; obamba umlomo wakhe uhlakaniphile.” Umthetho wokwenza njengoba ungase ufise ukuba kwenziwe kuwe, engxoxweni usho ukucabanga ngaphambi kokuba ukhulume!

Umngcele phakathi kokuhleba okungenangozi nokunengozi ungase ube mncane ngendlela ekhohlisayo. Inkulumo yokuthi ‘uJohn akasasebenzi esitolo’ kalula nje ingaholela ekwenezeleni ukuthi ‘uJohn umane nje akabambeleli emsebenzini’—ukudlala ngokunyundela! Ngisho nemizamo yokusho okuthile okuhle ngomunye ngokuvamile iyasonteka. Amazwi athi, ‘uJudy ungumfundi okhaliphe ukubadlula bonke ekilasini’ angase kalula alandelwe ngathi, ‘Kodwa ingabe uye wayiqaphela indlela agqoka ngayo?’ Futhi kaningi ngokuvamile, ukuhleba kungaba kubi ngempela, imoto ethutha amanga namahlebezi anyundelayo ngomuntu othile.

Ukuhleba Okubi—Isizathu Sokuba Kwenzeke

Khona-ke, kungani ngokuvame kangaka ukuhleba kuthambekele kokubi? Phakathi kokunye, ‘inhliziyo yimbi’ futhi ngokuvamile inkulumo embi yanelisa izidingo ezithile zobugovu ezingokomzwelo.—Jeremiya 17:9.

“Kukwenza uzizwe ubalulekile ukwazi okuthile abanye abangakwazi,” kuvuma uConnie osemusha. Futhi ngokuvamile kakhulu lokho “okuthile” kuba ukwaziswa okungathandeki ngomunye. Abanye babonakala benomuzwa wokuthi ukugqamisa izici namaphutha abanye kufiphaza ukushiyeka kwabo. Nokho, kwabanye ukuhleba kuyithuluzi lokuthuthukisa ukuthandwa kwabo. Balwela ukwazi ukuze babe abokuqala ukutshela abanye. Ukuze bajabulele lesikhathi esifushane sokugqama, bayokwembula isifuba somngane wabo oseduze kakhulu. Khumbula, umuntu okhuluma ngabanye kuwe ngokuvamile uyokhuluma ngawe kwabanye.

Ukuhleba kungasetshenziswa njengendlela engcono yokubonakalisa intukuthelo, ukuzwiswa ubuhlungu, nomona. Abanye bayoze ngisho baphendukele ekuqambeni amanga ukuze bazwise umuntu othile ubuhlungu lowo abanomuzwa wokungamthandi. (Qhathanisa nezAga 26:28.) Khona-ke, enye intombazane yasakaza amahlebezi okuthi efunda naye esikoleni wayekhulelwe—ngokusobala ngenxa yokuthi eyayifunda naye esikoleni wayephola nomfana nayo eyayimthanda.

Ngokuvamile, ukuhleba okubi akubangelwa kakhulu inzondo kodwa ukuphahluka. Omunye osemusha wavuma: “Ngezinye izikhathi ngiqaphela ukuthi lokho esengizokusho akulona iqiniso eliphelele, kodwa kucishe kufane nomlutha. Ngisho izinto ngaphambi kokuba ngizikhuze—futhi izikhathi eziningi kamuva isikhuni sibuya nomkhwezeli.”

Ukuhleba Okubi—Inkemba Esika Nhlangothi Zombili

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyini isisusa sakho, ukuhleba okubi kuyinkemba esika nhlangothi zombili. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ingabangela umonakalo ongalungiseki egameni nasedumeleni lomunye umuntu. Njengoba umagazini i’Teen waphawula: “Uma uhleba ngabanye abantu, ugxeka, wembula izimfihlo, weqisa noma ngisho uqambe amanga ngokuqondile, cishe ufaka engozini noma uqeda ubuhlobo—futhi ngokunokwenzeka uvimbela ukuba kuqalise ubuhlobo obusha.” Noma njengoba iBhayibheli likubeka: “Osibekela isiphambeko ufuna uthando, kepha onokondisa indaba wahlukanisa abahlobo.”—IzAga 17:9; qhathanisa nezAga 16:28.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuhleba kungase futhi kube ukuzidonsela amanzi ngomsele futhi kulimaze inhlebi. Esikhundleni sokuba kuzuze izindlebe ezilalelayo, ukuhleba kungaveza ukungathenjwa. “Akukhomuntu ohlebayo ongathenjwa ngemfihlo,” kusho izAga 11:13. (Today’s English Version) Futhi umuntu okukhulunywa ngaye ngokuqinisekile akanakujabula uma nalapho ezwa ukuthi imfihlo iye yadalulwa noma iphutha liye lasakazwa. “Ukuhleba kuletha ulaka nanjengokuba ngokuqinisekile umoya wasenyakatho uletha imvula,” kusho izAga 25:23—TEV.

Umuntu okhuluma ngendlela ejivazayo ngabanye futhi uzifaka engozini yokulimaza ubuhlobo bakhe noNkulunkulu. Ngokuvamile ukuphahluka kuholela ekunyundeleni. Futhi uJehova uhlobana kuphela nomuntu “ongahlebi ngolimi lwakhe, ongamoni umngane wakhe.” (IHubo 15:1, 3) Nokho, uma sisakaza amahlebezi angenasisekelo, eqinisweni singaba abahlanganyeli bokuqamba amanga—okuthile uJehova uNkulunkulu akuzondayo.—IzAga 6:16, 17.

Ukugwema Ukubanjwa Ugibe Lokuhleba

Inkomo ingazala umuntu uma singayeka ukukhuluma ngabanye abantu—okungenani ngokuphelele. Kodwa izinkinga eziningi zingagwenywa uma usebenzisa umthetho wokucabangela: “Ngakho-ke konke nokungakanani enifuna ukuba abantu bakwenze kini, kwenzeni nani kanjalo kubo.”—Mathewu 7:12.

Lokhu kusho ukwenqaba ukulalela ukuhleba okuyingozi! “Ungahlangani naye ovula kakhulu umlomo wakhe,” kweluleka iBhayibheli. (IzAga 20:19) Uma ulalela inkulumo enenzondo noma elimazayo, uvumelana nayo. Njengoba osemusha okuthiwa uRosalyn ekubeka: ‘Abantu abalalela ukuhleba bamane nje bakhuthaza izinhlebi.’ Ngaphandle kwalokho, ngaso sonke isikhathi kunethuba lokuthola ‘imithonseyana ethakazelisayo’ ekhanga ngaphezu kokuba ungayigcina bese uba ingxenye yomgudu wokunyundela.

Ngakho zama ukuzenqaba izinkulumo ezimbi. Lokhu akusho ngempela ukunikeza intshumayelo ngobubi bokuhleba okuyingozi. Kodwa ungazama ukushintsha isihloko, ingxoxo uyiphendulele kolunye uhlangothi, noma usho okuthile okutusa lowo okuxoxwa ngaye. Uma inkulumo elimazayo iqhubeka, thatha lokho njengethuba lakho lokuxolisa engxoxweni.

Yebo, okuthile kungase kube iqiniso ngempela—kungasaphathwa okwezindaba ezikitazayo nezijabulisayo, kodwa ingabe ngempela sikhona isidingo sokukusho? Ingabe kuyomthukuthelisa, kumnyundele, kumcunule, noma kumdumaze? Ingabe ubungakusho phambi kwalowomuntu? Ubuyozizwa kanjani uma umuntu othile ebekukhulume ngawe? “Ulimi lwabahlakaniphileyo luveza kahle ukwazi,” kusho izAga 15:2; “kepha umlomo weziwula uphafuza ubuwula.”

Ngakho qaphela lapho ukhuluma. Kuthiwa izinjulabuchopho zikhuluma ngemibono, izihlakaniphi ezisesilinganisweni zikhuluma ngezinto, futhi iziwula zikhuluma ngabantu! Khuluma ngezinto ezihlukene eziningi engxoxweni yakho. Kunezinto eziningi—kuhlanganise nezindaba ezingokomoya—ezingagcina ingxoxo iqhubeka kangcono kakhulu kunokuhleba okuyize okulimazayo.7a

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 21]

Inhlebi ngokuvamile iyakujabulela ukuba umbukwane

[Isithombe ekhasini 22]

Uma ulalela inkulumo enenzondo noma elimazayo, uvumelana nayo