Ngingasixosha Kanjani Isizungu?

INGABE uyakhathazeka lapho uhlaselwa umkhuhlane? Ngokunokwenzeka awukhathazeki. Uyazi ukuthi uzoba ngcono. Kodwa kuthiwani uma izimpawu zomkhuhlane wakho ziphikelela? Khona-ke ungase ube nokuthile okubi kakhulu kunomkhuhlane odlulayo, futhi wenza kahle ngokukhathazeka.

Kungokufanayo lapho uzizwa unesizungu. Ukuhlasela okuningi kwesizungu kungokwesikhashana.a Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ubuhlungu obuququdayo besizungu buyaphikelela. Kubonakala ingekho indlela yokuphunyuka.

URonny, umfundi wasesikoleni esiphakeme, uyalandisa: “Sekuyiminyaka eyisishiyagalombili ngifunda esikoleni esikulesifunda, kodwa kuso sonke lesosikhathi angikwazanga ukuphemba ubungane ngisho nanoyedwa! . . . Akekho owaziyo ngalokho engikuzwayo futhi akekho onendaba. Ngezinye izikhathi ngicabanga ukuthi angisenakukumela lokhu!”—Preparing for Adolescence.

NjengoRonny, intsha eningi iba nalokho ngokuvamile okubizwa ngokuthi umzwa-ngedwa. Mhlawumbe nawe unawo lomuzwa wobuhlungu bokusala dengwane. Uma kunjalo, musa ukulahla ithemba. Yiqiniso, umzwa-ngedwa awuyona inkinga encane. Ungongathi sína kunesizungu sesikhashana. Eqinisweni, abacwaningi bathi lokhu kokubili “kuhlukene njengomkhuhlane ovamile nesifo sokushisa kwamaphaphu.” Kodwa njengoba isifo sokushisa kwamaphaphu singelashwa, nomzwa-ngedwa nawo unganqotshwa. Kodwa kanjani?

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuba nesizungu kuyinto yesikhashana noma kuyindlela ebuhlungu yokuphila kuwe, isinyathelo sokuqala ekutholeni ikhambi siwukuqonda imbangela yaso. INkosi yasendulo uSolomoni yaphawula: “Umuntu oqondayo yilowo othola isiqondiso esinekhono.”—IzAga 1:5, NW.

URhonda oneminyaka eyishumi nesithupha ubudala ubalula imbangela evame kakhulu yomzwa-ngedwa ethi: “Ngicabanga ukuthi isizathu esenza ngizizwe nginesizungu kakhulu siwukuthi—empeleni ngeke ube nabangane uma unomuzwa ongemuhle ngawe ngokwakho. Futhi ngicabanga ukuthi angizithandi kangako.”—Lonely in America.

Isizungu sikaRhonda sivela kuye. Ukuzibhekela phansi kwakhe kwakha umngcele omenza angakhululeki ekuxoxeni futhi angakwazi ukuphemba ubungane. Ingabe unemizwa efana neyakhe? Omunye umcwaningi uthi: “Imicabango enjengokuthi ‘angikhangi,’ ‘angithakazelisi,’ ‘angiyinto yalutho,’ iyizinkulumo ezivame ukushiwo abanomzwa-ngedwa.”

Ukuzibhekela phansi, nakho, kungase kuphumele ekwesabeni ukwenqatshwa. USteven uyakhumbula: “Ngangifuna ukukhuluma ngemizwa yami yokuba nesizungu, kodwa ngangingazi ukuthi ngingakubeka ngamagama athini. Ngangesaba ukuthi abantu bazongihleka noma banganginaki. Kwakungelula neze ukuxoxa ngokukhululeka.” Ngenxa yalokho, enye intsha ayikhulumi, futhi ifele ngaphakathi. Lokhu kungaqedwa kanjani?

Yakha Ukuzihlonipha Kwakho

Isihluthulelo ekunqobeni isizungu sisekwakheni ukuzihlonipha. Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Ngokuba ngomusa engiwuphiweyo ngisho kulowo nalowo phakathi kwenu ukuthi angacabangi athi mkhulu kunalokho afanele ukukucabanga.” (Roma 12:3; qhathanisa noMathewu 19:19.) Lokhu kubonisa ukuthi isilinganiso esithile sokuzihlonipha siyadingeka. Ngakho-ke, iBhayibheli alixwayisi ngokuzicabangela kakhulu kuphela kodwa futhi nangokuzicabangela kancane kakhulu.

Futhi, uJehova wanikeza umuntu izimfanelo ezifana nezakhe. (Genesise 1:26) Ngakho ngezinga elithile unazo lezozimfanelo ezikhangayo kuwe. Ingabe uthobekile, unesizotha, uyafundiseka? Noma uyaphana, unozwela, unomusa? Ungazivali amehlo ukuba ungaziboni lezozinto eziwusizo. Mhlawumbe ungase futhi uthuthukise amakhono nezinto eziwusizo. Yiqiniso, kungase kube khona izinto ongazithandi ngawe, ngokwesibonelo ukubukeka kwakho. Kodwa kungani uzidangalisa ngento ongeke uyishintshe? Esikhundleni salokho, sebenzela ukuthuthukisa izimfanelo ezingezinhle ongase ukwazi ukuzishintsha, njengokungabekezeli, inhliziyo encane, noma ubugovu. Sebenzisa isikhathi uthuthukisa lokho iBhayibheli elikubiza ngokuthi “umuntu . . . omusha,” obonakala ngomusa, ukuthobeka kwengqondo, nesizotha. (Kolose 3:9-12) Ukuzihlonipha kwakho kuyokhula!

Ngaphezu kwalokho, njengoba ufunda ukuzithanda, abanye bayodonswa izimfanelo zakho ezikhangayo. Kodwa njengoba ungase ukwazi ukubona imibala ephelele yembali kuphela ngemva kokuba ivulekile, khona-ke abanye bangakwazi ukuzazisa ngokugcwele izimfanelo zakho kuphela uma uvuleka kubo. Ungase ubuze, ‘Kodwa ngingakwenza kanjani lokho?’

‘Yanuleka’ Kwabanye

‘Iseluleko esingcono kakhulu kumuntu onesizungu,’ kusho incwadi yamuva ekhishwe Inhlangano Yesizwe Yempilo Yengqondo yaseU.S., ‘siwukuhlangana nabanye abantu.’ Lesiseluleko sivumelana neseluleko seBhayibheli ‘sokwanuleka’ nokubonisa ‘isihawu,’ noma uzwela. (2 Korinte 6:11-13; 1 Petru 3:8) Kuyasebenza. Okunye ukuhlola, okwakhishwa ephephabhukwini iAdolescence, kwembula ukuthi ‘intsha ebonisa ukukhathalela inhlala-kahle yabanye ayinaso isizungu njengentsha engakwenzi lokhu.’ Ngani? Ukukhathalela abanye akuyisusi nje kuphela ingqondo yakho esizungwini sakho kodwa kushukumisela abanye ukuba babe nesithakazelo kuwe. Abantu ngokuvamile bayosabela ngokukunikeza umusa nawe. (IzAga 11:25) Khona-ke, ungaqala kanjani?

Ukubulala Amagabade

UNatalie oneminyaka eyishumi nesishiyagalolunye ubudala wanquma ukuthi wayezokwenza okwengeziwe kunokuba ahlale alinde ukuba abantu bambingelele. Uthi, ‘Nami kumelwe ngibe nobungane. Kungenjalo abantu bazocabanga ukuthi ngiwunyube.’ Ngakho qala ngokumoyizela. Omunye umuntu angase akumoyizelele nawe.

Isinyathelo esilandelayo, ukuqalisa ingxoxo, sinzinyana. ULillian, oneminyaka eyi-15, uyavuma: “Ukuya kubantu ongabazi okokuqala ngqá kwakwesabisa ngempela. Ngangesaba ukuthi ngeke bangemukele.” ULillian uziqalisa kanjani izingxoxo? Uthi, “Ngibuza imibuzo elula, enjengokuthi, ‘Uvelaphi?’ ‘Uyamazi usibanibani?’ Kungase kwenzeke ukuthi sobabili siyamazi lomuntu, futhi kungekudala sesiyaxoxa.” Okuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo nakho kungase kube yinto yokubulala amagabade. UAnne oneminyaka eyishumi nesishiyagalombili ubudala uyavuma: “Angiqalisi ngokukhuluma ngezinto eziyisifuba ngoba omunye umuntu angase abe namahloni noma esabe futhi angigweme.” Yebo, akukhona ukuhlakanipha ukungena engxoxweni ejulile zisuka nje.

Nokho, kuthiwani uma ngezinye izikhathi umane nje ungazi ukuthi uzothini? Nokho, zihlala zikhona izinto ongazenza. IBhayibheli likhuluma ngokwesifazane ogama lakhe linguDorka owenzela ‘abafelokazi abaswele izinto ezinhle eziningi nezipho zomusa.’ Lapho efa, abafelokazi bakhala ngenxa yokudabuka. (IzEnzo 9:36-39) Izenzo zikaDorka zomusa zazimenze wathandeka kubo. Izenzo zomusa nomoya wokupha ngokufanayo kuyokusiza ukuba uphembe ubungane obuyigugu.

Kodwa bhekana namaqiniso. Funda ukwamukela ukuthi abanye abantu ngeke basabele ekumoyizeleni kwakho nasekubingeleleni kwakho kobungane. Kulokho, yibona abanenkinga—hhayi wena.

Ukunqoba Ubunzima

Nakuba kunjalo, intsha eningi ngezikhathi ezithile iba nesizungu. Khumbula ukuthi kungase kube okwesikhashana futhi kubangelwe yizimo ongenakuzilawula. Ukudlula kwesikhathi ngokuvamile kuyokusiza ukuba unqobe lobunzima. Isizungu siyonyamalala.

Nokho, umzwa-ngedwa, uvela ngaphakathi futhi ungabangelwa ukuzibhekela phansi. Kulokho, thatha isinyathelo! ‘Shintsha ingqondo yakho’ futhi ‘wembathe umuntu omusha,’ kusho iZwi likaNkulunkulu. (Roma 12:2; Efesu 4:23, 24) Yebo, yakha ukuzihlonipha ngokuthuthukisa izimfanelo ezikhangayo onazo ngaphakathi kuwe. Yenzela abanye izinto, futhi ngokuvamile bayosabela kuwe.

Nokho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu basabela kanjani, ungaba nomngane ongasoze akwenzela phansi. Ungubani lowo? UJesu Kristu watshela abafundi bakhe: “[Niyakungishiya] ngedwa; nokho angingedwa, lokhu uBaba unami.” (Johane 16:32) Lobuhlobo obuseduze noJehova bamqinisa uJesu ngezikhathi eyedwa. UJehova angaba umngane oseduze kakhulu nakuwe. Yazi ubuntu bakhe ngokufunda iBhayibheli nangokubheka indalo yakhe. Qinisa ubungane bakho naye ngomthandazo. Ngokushesha uyothola ukuthi ubungane noJehova uNkulunkulu buyikhambi elihle kakhulu ekubeni kwakho nesizungu.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Izithombe ekhasini 23]

Ukubukeka kwakho kungayithinta indlela abanye abazizwa ngayo ngawe