Iyashesha Ukuba Omama

“Isoka lami lalilihle. Lalinemali, futhi sasizingcebelekela ngokuthanda ezindaweni eziningi sizijabulise. Kwathi lapho ngeqiwa inyanga, ngasola ukuthi kukhona okushaya amanzi. Ngangizomtshela kanjani umama? Kwakungenzeka kanjani kimi lokhu? Ngangineminyaka engu-16 nje kuphela, futhi angazanga ukuthi ngenzeni.”—UNicole.

NAMUHLA uNicole,a osevile eminyakeni engu-35, ungumama ozethembayo, okhuthele wezingane ezintathu. Izibulo lakhe lineminyaka engu-20 ubudala. Yebo, eminyakeni eminingi edlule waba omunye wezigidi zentsha ekhulelwa ingashadile. Njengenye intsha engomama, wazithola ebhekene nenzukazikeyi yotalatiya, ukwenza izinqumo ezinqala, ebe engazi ukuthi ikusasa lalimphatheleni.

Akuvamile ukuba uNicole akhulume ngokushaqeka, ukungakholelwa, ukwesaba, ukuthukuthela nokukhungatheka okwakuwumchilo wesidwaba phakathi neminyaka yobusha bakhe—isikhathi lapho ontanga yakhe babekhathazeka khona ngezingubo nangamamaki asesikoleni. Noma kunjalo, izinto zazingcubangcono kuNicole. Wayevela emkhayeni onothando owawuzamile ukugxilisa kuye izimiso zokuziphatha eziphakeme. Yize akhetha ukuzishaya indiva lezo zimiso okwesikhashana—futhi akhokha kabuhlungu—kamuva zona lezo zimiso zamenza waphila ukuphila okugculisayo nokunenjongo. Isaga ayezikhuthaza ngaso sasithi, “Akulahlwa mbeleko ngokufelwa.”

Ngeshwa, akuyona yonke intsha engomama enemikhaya eyisekelayo—noma enethemba elinjalo ngekusasa. Eningi izithola ibhajwe ebuphofini okubonakala kungenandlela yokuphuma kubo. Enye kumelwe ilwisane nemizwelo ebuhlungu eba khona ngemva kokudlwengulwa noma kokuhlukunyezwa ngobudlova.

Lezi zimo aziwona neze amabika amahle ezinganeni zentsha engomama. Incwadi ethi Teen Moms—The Pain and the Promise, ithi izingane ezinomama abasebancane “zivame ukuzalwa zinesisindo esiphansi, ukuphathwa izifo eziningi zezingane, ukuba sengozini enkulu yokufa ziseyizinsana, ukungatholi ukwelashwa okuhle, ukulamba nokungondleki kahle; zichayeka kakhulu ebudloveni, futhi azisheshi ukukhula njengezingane ezizalwa omama asebebadadlana.” Empeleni, amadodakazi omama abasebancane asethubeni lokuba nawo abe ngomama esemancane kunalawo azalwa omama asebekhule kahle.

Kwande kangakanani ukukhulelwa kwentsha esencane? Intsha engomama ingakwazi kanjani ukubhekana ngokuphumelelayo nezinselele zokukhulisa izinsana zayo? Ikhona yini indlela yokusiza intsha ukuba igweme kwakona ukungena kulolu talatiya? Izihloko ezilandelayo zidingida le mibuzo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]