Ubuhlungu Bokuhlukana Nezingane
“Umyeni wami wayengixwayisile lapho kuzalwa izibulo lethu—‘S’thandwa, ukukhulisa abantwana kuyinqubo ende yokuhlukana.’”—Ourselves and Our Children—A Book by and for Parents.
ABAZALI abaningi bayajabula—baze bavukwe amadlingozi ngempela—lapho kuzalwa izibulo labo. Naphezu kwazo zonke izinkinga, izihibe, ubuhlungu, ukukhungatheka nezinkathazo ezilethwa ukuba umzali, abantwana bangaba umthombo wenjabulo enkulu. Eminyakeni engaba yizinkulungwane ezintathu edlule, iBhayibheli lathi: “Abantwana bayisipho esivela eNKOSINI; bayisibusiso sangempela.”—IHubo 127:3, Today’s English Version.
Noma kunjalo, iBhayibheli libuye likhiphe lesi sibikezelo esisangulukisayo: “Indoda iyakushiya uyise nonina.” (Genesise 2:24) Ngenxa yezizathu ezihlukahlukene, izingane esezikhulile ngokuvamile ziyalishiya ikhaya—ziyofuna imfundo noma umsebenzi, ziyokwandisa inkonzo yazo yobuKristu, noma ziyoshada. Kodwa kwabanye abazali, leli qiniso libuhlungu kakhulu. Bavumela ukushikashikeka okungokwemvelo kwezingane zabo zizama ukuzimela kubabangele ukuba—njengoba omunye umlobi akubeka—“bazizwe bephoxiwe, bethukuthele, behlazekile, besongelwa noma belahliwe.” Ngokuvamile lokhu kubangela izingxabano zomkhaya ezingapheli. Njengoba bengafuni ukuficwa usuku lapho beyoshiywa khona yizingane zabo, abanye abazali bayehluleka ukuzilungiselela ukuphila kokuba abantu abadala. Umphumela walokhu kudebesela ungaba osabekayo: ungaveza abantu abadala abangakulungele nhlobo ukuphatha ikhaya, ukunakekela umkhaya, noma ukuhlala emsebenzini.
Ubuhlungu bokuhlukana bungaba bukhulu nakakhulu emikhayeni enomzali oyedwa. Umzali ongayedwa okuthiwa uKaren uthi: “Mina nendodakazi yami singamathe nolimi; sakha isibopho sobungane bangempela. Ngangihamba nayo nomaphi lapho ngiya khona.” Ubuhlobo obuseduze phakathi kwabantwana nabazali buvamile emikhayeni enomzali oyedwa. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi umcabango wokuphela kokusondelana okunjalo ungabangela ukukhungatheka.
Nokho, incwadi ethi Traits of a Healthy Family ikhumbuza abazali: “Kunjalo-ke ukuphila komkhaya: ukukhulisa usana oluthembele kinina lube umuntu omdala ozimele.” Ibe isixwayisa: “Izinkinga eziningi emikhayeni zibangelwa ukungafuni kwabazali ukuhlukana nezingane zabo.”
Kuthiwani ngawe? Ingabe ungumzali? Uma kunjalo, ingabe ululungele usuku lapho kuyodingeka uzidedele khona izingane zakho zihambe? Futhi kuthiwani ngezingane zakho? Ingabe uyazilungiselela ukuba zikwazi ukuzimela?