NKHANI YOPFUNZIRA 22
NYIMBO NA. 127 Mtundu wa Munthu Amene Ndiyenera Kukhala
Vomwe mungachite kuti chibwenzi chanu chikuthandizeni kusalula vinthu mwanzeru
‘Umunthu wobisika wamuntima . . . ni wapadzulu maninge.’—1 PET. 3:4.
CHOLINGA
Kuona vomwe wanthu ali pa chibwenzi angachite kuti asalule vinthu mwanzeru na momwe wanthu anango mumpingu angawathandizire.
1-2. Ko wanthu anango adalewa chani pa nkhani ya chibwenzi?
NTHAWE ya chibwenzi ni yokomedza maninge kwa wanthu omwe ankufuna kudzalowolana. Peno muli pa chibwenzi mufunisisa kuti vose vifambe bwino, chimwechi ndicho cholinga cha wanthu azinji omwe ali pa chibwenzi. Mulongo munango wa ku Etiópia dzina yake Tsion,a adanena kuti: “Inango mwa nthawe yokomedza maninge pa moyo wathu ni pomwe inepano na mwamuna wangu tenze pa chibwenzi. Timbakambirana nkhani zikuluzikulu ndipo nidakhala wokondwa maninge pomwe nidagumana munthu yemwe ambanikonda ndipo inembo nimbamukonda.”
2 M’bale munango pomwe Alessio wa ku Holanda adanena kuti: “Vidakhala vokomedza maninge kumudziwa bwinobwino nkazi wangu pomwe tenze pa chibwenzi.” Koma chibwenzi chinamabvuto yakembo. Mu nkhani mweyi tione mabvuto yanango yomwe yangabwere ndipo tione mpfundo za m’Baibolo zomwe zingathandize wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi kukhala na chibwenzi chomwe chingalemekeze Yahova. Tione pomwe momwe wanthu anango mumpingu angathandizire wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi.
KO CHOLINGA CHA CHIBWENZI NI CHANI?
3. Ko cholinga cha chibwenzi ni chani? (Miyambo 20:25)
3 Shuwadi, nthawe ya chibwenzi ni yokomedza maninge komasoti ni nthawe yabwino maninge yomwe ingachitise kuti wanthu adzalowolane. Ntsiku ya ukwati, wanthu omwe ankulowolana apolomisa pa maso pa Yahova kuti adzakondane na kulemekezana kwa moyo wawo wose. Tikanati tachita polomisi iliyose tichadekana kuganiza bwinobwino pakuyamba. (Werengani Miyambo 20:25.) Cholinga cha chibwenzi ni chakuti wanthu omwe ankufuna kudzalowolana adziwane bwinobwino kuti akwanise kusalula vinthu mwanzeru. Anango asalula kuti alowolane koma nthawe zinango angasalule kumalisa chibwenzi. Peno wanthu omwe enze pa chibwenzi asalula kumalisa chibwenzi vinkutanthauzalini kuti chibwenzi chilibe phindu. Koma mosiyana na vimwevi, vichatanthauza kuti chibwenzi chakwanirisa cholinga chake chomwe ni kuwathandiza kusalula vinthu mwanzeru.
4. Ko ndawa chani tichadekana kukhala na maganizo yoyenera pa nkhani ya chibwenzi?
4 Ndawa chani ni vodekana kudziwa cholinga cha chibwenzi? Munthu yemwe alirini pa banja akakhala na maganizo yoyenera angabvumelini kuyamba chibwenzi pomwe alibe maganizo yolowola. Koma ni wanthulini okha omwe alirini pa banja omwe achadekana kudziwa vimwevi. Tose tichadekana kudziwa cholinga cha chibwenzi. Mwakulinganiza, anango achaganiza kuti, peno wanthu ali pa chibwenzi iwo ni ochichimizika kulowolana. Manje ko vimwevi vikhudza tani omwe alirini pa banja? Melissa mulongo munango wa ku Estados Unidos yemwe alirini pa banja adanena kuti: “Pakhala chiyeso chikulu maninge kwa wa Mboni za Yahova omwe ali pa chibwenzi. Ndawa ya vimwevi, wanthu anango omwe ali pa chibwenzi achita mantha kumalisa chibwenzi olo kuti chinkufambalini bwino. Pomwe anango omwe alirini pa chibwenzi achitiratu mantha kuyamba chibwenzi. Vimwevi vingachitise kuti munthu ayambe kukhala na nkhawa.”
KUDZIWANA BWINOBWINO
5-6. Ko wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi achadekana kudziwana chani? (1 Petulo 3:4)
5 Peno muli pa chibwenzi, ko nchani chingakuthandizeni kusalula kulowolana panango neye? Ni kudziwana bwinobwino. Ni shuwadi kuti mudadziwako vinthu vinango va munzanu muyo mukanati kuyamba chibwenzi. Koma manje munamwayi wodziwa ‘umunthu wamuntima.’ (Werengani 1 Petulo 3:4.) Pomwe muli pa chibwenzi, mukwanisa kudziwa momwe ushamwali wake uliri na Yahova, makhalidwe yake na momwe achaganizira. Nkuyenda kwa nthawe mudzakwanise kudawira mibvunzo aya: ‘Ko moyu adzakhale mwamuna panango nkazi wabwino kwa inepano?’ (Miy. 31:26, 27, 30; Aef. 5:33; 1 Tim. 5:8) ‘Ko nidzakwanise kumuonesa chikondi nkudikhira kuti anikondembo? Ko tidzakwanise kukhululukirana?’b (Aro. 3:23) Pomwe munkudziwana ntsiku iliyose kumbukirani kuti chinthu chodekana maninge nkulinganalini vomwe muchachita, koma kuzolowerana.
6 Ko ni chani pomwe chomwe muchadekana kukhala nacho tcheru pomwe muli pachibwenzi? Pomwe mukanati mwayamba kukondana maninge, panango mungadekane kukambirana nkhani zikuluzikulu. Mwakulinganiza, kudziwa volinga va kutsogolo va munzanu. Manje tani nkhani za pa moyo wanu ninge bvuto ya thanzi, kobiri panango vinthu vinango vomwe vidakuchitikirani kumbuyo. Ni vinthulini vose vomwe mungakambirane pomwe munkundoyamba chibwenzi. (Onani pomwe Yohane 16:12.) Peno munkufuna kudawira mibvunzo yanango pamwekha muuzeni munzanu, koma patsogolo pake munzanu achadekana kudziwa midawiro yomwe imwepo mwagumana kuti akwanise kusalula vochita mwanzeru. Ndipo idzafike nthawe kuti imwepo mumufotokozere bwinobwino.
7. Ko wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi angadziwane tani? (Onani bokosi yakuti: “Kukhala pa chibwenzi na munthu yemwe akhala kutali.”) (Onani pomwe foto.)
7 Ko tingakwanise tani kumudziwa bwinobwino munzathu yemwe tili naye pa chibwenzi? Njira yabwino yochitira vimwevi ni kumubvunza mibvunzo na kumbabvesera mwatcheru vomwe ankuyankhula. (Miy. 20:5; Yak. 1:19) Kuti mukwanise kuchita vimwevi nthawe zinango mungadekane kuchita basa zinango pabodzi kuti mukhale na nthawe yocheza. Mwakulinganiza, kudyera pabodzi, kuzunga pabodzi pa malo yowonekera panango kuyenda pabodzi mu umboni. Imwepo mungadziwe pomwe momwe munzanu muyo aliri mukambacheza pabodzi na azibale wake panango azishamwali wanu. Yesani kukonza basa yomwe ingakuthandizeni kuona momwe munzanu angachitire vinthu na wanthu osiyanasiyana. Onani vomwe Aschwin wa ku Holanda adayesa kuchita pomwe wenze pachibwenzi na Alicia. Iye adanena kuti: “Isepano timbasalula kuchitira pabodzi basa zinango kuti tidziwane bwinobwino, nthawe zinango venze vinthu ving’onoving’ono ninge kuphika pabodzi panango basa zinango za pamuyi. Ndawa yochita vimwevi tidakwanisa kuonana makhalidwe na vofoka vomwe aliyese anavo.”
Kuti mudziwane bwinobwino chitani vinthu vomwe vingakupaseni mpata kuti mucheze (Onani ndime 7-8)
8. Ko wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi angaphindule tani akambapfunzira pabodzi Baibolo?
8 Mungadziwane pomwe bwinobwino mukambapfunzira pabodzi Baibolo. Mukadzalowolana imwepo muchadekana kusalula ntsiku yakuti mumbachite pfunziro yabanja. Yahova achadekana kukhala pa malo yoyamba m’banja yanu. (Mla. 4:12) Ndipomwapa ni vabwino maninge kuyambiratu manjeuno kupfunzira pabodzi pomwe muli pachibwenzi. Ni shuwadi kuti wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi ni banjalini neye, ndipo pa nthawe mweyi mwamuna ni msololini wa nkazi. Olo viri teno mukambapfunzira pabodzi ntsiku iliyose mungakwanise kudziwa vomwe munzanu achaganiza pa kulewa va Yahova. Max na Laysa, banja inango ya ku Estados Unidos, idagumana phindu inango. Iwo adanena kuti: “Kundoyambira pomwe tidakhala pa chibwenzi tidayamba kupfunzira vofalisa vomwe vimbanena va chibwenzi, banja na moyo wa pabanja. Kupfunzira nkhani mwezi kudatithandiza kuti tikambirane nkhani zikuluzikulu zomwe zenze zoshupa kuti tikambirane.”
VOMWE TICHADEKANA KUVIGANIZIRA
9. Ko wanthu ali pa chibwenzi achadekana kuganizira chani akafuna kuuza munthu va chibwenzi?
9 Ko ni mbani yemwe mungauze va chibwenzi chanu? Vimwevi mungakambirane muli awiri pomwe munkuyamba chibwenzi. Kumayambiriro panango imwepo mungandosalula kuuzako wanthu ang’onog’ono basi. (Miy. 17:27) Kuchita vimwevi kungakuthandizeni kuti muleke kuchita vinthu mochichimiziwa panango kumbandobvunziwa mibvunzo. Koma mukaleka kuuza aliyese mudzachite vinthu mobisa ndawa ya mantha kuti wanthu anango angadziwe ndipo kuchita vimwevi kungakubweresereni mabvuto. Mungachite bwino kuuzako wanthu oyenerera omwe angakuthandizeni nzeru. (Miy. 15:22) Mwakulinganiza, imwepo mungauzeko azibale wanu, azishamwali okhuma mwauzimu panango akulu.
10. Ko wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi angachite tani kuti chibwenzi chawo chikhale cholemekezeka? (Miyambo 22:3)
10 Pomwe muli pachibwenzi, ko mungachite tani vinthu vomwe vingakondwerese Yahova? Nkuyenda kwa nthawe vilakolako vanu vikhala vamphanvu maninge. Ko mungachite chani kuti mupewe vinthu vomwe vingakhumudwise Yahova? (1 Akor. 6:18) Ayi kumbacheza nkhani za kugonana panango kumbakhala mwekhamwekha pa malo pomwe palibe wanthu panango kumwa maninge. (Aef. 5:3) Mukambachita vimwevi vilakolako vanu vakuthupi vidzakhale vamphanvu maninge ndipo vidzakhale voshupa kuchita vinthu vomwe vingakondwerese Yahova. Manje ko tani kumbakonda kukambisirana vomwe mungachite kuti chibwenzi chanu chikhale cholemekezeka? (Werengani Miyambo 22:3.) Onani vomwe vidathandiza Dawit na Almaz wa ku Etiópia. Iwo adanena kuti: “Isepano timbakhala nthawe ikulu tiri pabodzi pa malo yomwe panawanthu azinji. Timbakhalalini tekhatekha nkaro panango nyumba. Kuchita vimwevi kudatithandiza kuti tileke kuchita vinthu vomwe vidakakhumudwisa Yahova.”
11. Ko wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi achadekana kuganizira mpfundo ziponi pa nkhani yowonesana chikondi?
11 Manje ko tani pa nkhani yowonesana chikondi? Pomwe chikondi chanu chinkukula panango imwepo mungasalule kumbawonesana chikondi mwechi munjira yoyenera. Koma pomwe vilakolako vanu vathupi vinkukula vingakhale voshupa kuti muganize bwinobwino. (Nyimbo 1:2; 2:6) Kuwonesana chikondi kumoku kungakuchitiseni kuti munyalanyaze vinthu vinango nkuchita vinthu vomwe vingakhumudwise Yahova. (Miy. 6:27) Manje pomwe munkuyamba chibwenzi, mungakambirane malire yomwe mungayikhe ya momwe mungambawoneserane chikondi pakuphatisa basa mpfundo za m’Baibolo.c (1 Ates. 4:3-7) Dzibvunzeni kuti: ‘Mu dera yomwe tichakhala ko wanthu achaganiza tani momwe tichawoneserana chikondi? Ko vomwe tichachita vichitisa kuti m’bodzi wa ise akhale na vilakolako vofuna kugonana?’
12. Ko nchani chomwe wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi achadekana kudziwa peno ankubvanalini?
12 Ko mungalimbane tani na mabvuto panango kusabvesesana? Manje tani peno kawirikawiri mukangana? Ko vimwevi vinkutanthauza kuti imwepo munkuyenereranalini? Neye, mabanja yose yachabveranalini pa vinthu vinango. Banja yolimba ikonzewa na wanthu awiri omwe alemekezana na okonzeka kuzolowera vokonda va munthu munango. Momwe muchamalisira mabvuto manjeuno vingawoneseretu kuti banja yanu idzafambe bwino. Dzibvunzeni kuti: ‘Ko tichakwanisa kukambirana nkhani iliyose mwaulemu komasoti modekha? Ko tichabvuma tikaphonyesa ndipo tikhala okonzeka kuchinja? Ko tikwanisa kupepesana na kukumbirana kuti tikhululukirane?’ (Aef. 4:31, 32) Peno imwepo nthawe zose mubveranalini ndipo mundokhalira kukangana pomwe muli pachibwenzi, vinkuchita kuwonekeratu kuti imwepo mukadzalowolana vinthu vidzachinjelini. Ndipo peno m’bodzi wa imwepo wazindikira kuti munzake ni wosayenerera, njira yabwino kwa mose awiri ni kumalisa chibwenzi.d
13. Ni mpfundo ziponi zomwe zingathandize wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi kudziwa kukula kwa nthawe ya chibwenzi?
13 Ko chibwenzi chanu chichadekana kumala nthawe itali tani? Mukaleka kukhala na nthawe yokwana yosalula chinthu chibodzi vinthu vingafambelini bwino. (Miy. 21:5) Ndipomwapa muchadekana kukhala pa chibwenzi nthawe yokwana kuti mudziwane bwinobwino. Koma imwepo muchadekanalini kumbandokhala pa chibwenzi kwa nthawe itali palibe vifukwa. Olo Baibolo ichanena kuti: ‘Chidikhiro chosakwanirisika chidwalisa ntima.’ (Miy. 13:12) Kuingizira pamwapa, kumala nthawe ikulu muli pabodzi vingakhale pomwe voshupa kupirira vilakolako va kugonana. (1 Akor. 7:9) M’malo mwakundoganizira kuti ni nthawe ikulu tani yomwe mwamala muli pa chibwenzi, vingakhale bwino kudzibvunza kuti: ‘Ko ni chani chomwe nichadekana kupitiriza kupfunzira kwa munzangu kuti nisalule vinthu mwanzeru?’
KO ANANGO ANGATHANDIZE TANI OMWE ALI PA CHIBWENZI?
14. Ko ni njira yabwino iponi yomwe wanthu anango angathandizire omwe ali pa chibwenzi? (Onani pomwe foto.)
14 Peno imwepo munkudziwa wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi, ko mungawathandize tani? Njira yabwino ingakhale kuwachemera kuti mudzadye nawo kumuyi kwanu, kuti mudzakhale nawo pa pfunziro yabanja panango pa vochitika vinango. (Aro. 12:13) Iwo angaphatisire basa mwayi moyu kuti adziwane bwinobwino. Mungawathandize na kuwaperekeza, kuwatakula pa karo panango kuwapasa mpata m’nyumba yanu kuti acheze koma osawasiratu okhaokha? (Agal. 6:10) Alicia yemwe tamutola pakuyamba ule akumbukira va thandizo yomwe iye na Aschwin adatambira kuchokera kwa abale. Iye adanena kuti: “Tidakhala okondwa maninge ndawa yakuti abale anango enze odzipereka kutitambira kumuyi kwawo peno tinkufuna kukhala awiri kuti ticheze koma pali munthu pafupi.” Peno wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi wakukumbirani kuti mumbawanyang’anire vimwevi vingakhale vothandiza maninge ndipo iwo angakondwe. Koma khalani osamala kuti ayi kumbawasiyiratu okhaokha, nthawe ibodzibodzi mweyo apaseni mpata kuti ambacheze.—Afil. 2:4.
Peno munkudziwa wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi, chitani vomwe mungakwanise kuti muwathandize (Onani ndime 14-15)
15. Ko azishamwali angachite tani kuti athandize wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi? (Miyambo 12:18)
15 Isepano tingathandize wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi na vomwe tinganene panango kukhala chete. Nthawe zinango vingakhale voshupa kuganiza vomwe tinganene. (Werengani Miyambo 12:18.) Mwakulinganiza, tingayambe kuuza wanthu anango kuti wale ali pa chibwenzi pomwe anuake ankufuna kunena okha vimwevo. Tichadekanalini kuchita magunkha kumbalewa omwe ali pa chibwenzi panango kumbawaimba mulandu ndawa ya vosalula vawo. (Miy. 20:19; Aro. 14:10; 1 Ates. 4:11) Kuingizira pamwapa, tichadekanalini kuwapasa mibvunzo panango kuyankhula vinthu vomwe vingachitise kuti wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi kufuna kulowolana mwakankulumize. Mulongo munango dzina yake Elise na mwamuna wake adanena kuti: “Isepano timbabvalini bwino wanthu akatibvunza va mapulano yathu yakuti tilowolane lini pomwe ise tikanati takambirana va nkhani mweyo.”
16. Ko tingachite tani peno wanthu amalisa chibwenzi chawo?
16 Ko tani peno wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi asalula kumalisa chibwenzi chawo? Vingakhalelini bwino kumbawabvunza mibvunzo panango kumbanyang’ana kuti waphonya mbani kuti vimwevi vichitike. (1 Pet. 4:15) Mulongo munango dzina yake Lea adanena kuti: “Nidazindikira kuti wanthu anango ankufagafaga kuti adziwe kuti ndawa chani inepano na m’bale munango tidamalisa chibwenzi. Nidakhala wokhumudwa maninge.” Ninge momwe tanenera kale pakuyamba, peno wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi asalula kumalisa chibwenzi chawo, vimwevi vitanthauzalini kuti chibwenzi chilibe phindu. Koma kuti chibwenzi chakwanirisa cholinga chake ndawa yakuti chathandiza ose awiri kusalula vochita mwanzeru, olo kuti kuchita vimwevi kukhala koshupa. Ndipo mosakaika ose awiri akhala okwinyirira ndipo adzibva kuti ali okhaokha. Ndipomwapa ni vabwino kuti nthawe zose timbayesese kuwathandiza.—Miy. 17:17.
17. Ko wanthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi achadekana kupitiriza kuchita chani?
17 Ninge momwe taonera, chibwenzi chinamabvuto yake. Koma ingakhale pomwe nthawe yokomedza maninge pa moyo wanu. Jessica adanena kuti: “Kunena shuwa chibwenzi ni basa ikulu maninge. Koma vidakhala bwino maninge kuluza mphanvu zathu na nthawe yathu kuti tidziwane bwinobwino.” Peno imwepo muli pachibwenzi, chitani khama kuti mudziwane bwino. Mukachita vimwevi chibwenzi chanu chidzakuthandizeni kusalula vinthu mwanzeru.
NYIMBO NA. 49 Tizikondweretsa Mtima wa Yehova
a Madzina yanango yachinjiwa
b Kuti muone mibvunzo yanango onani bukhu yakuti Mayankho a Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa, Buku Lachiwiri, tsa. 39-40.
c Kuphatanaphatana vidzo vobisika ni njira inango yachigolo yomwe ingafunike komiti yachiweruzo ya akulu. Kuphatanaphatana masuku panango kumbacheza va kugonana pafoni, pa malo yochezera ya pa intanet, kutumizirana mamensaje, mafoto olo mavidiyo yakugonana ingafunike pomwe komiti yachiweruzo kulingana na momwe vinthu viliri.
d Kuti mubve vizinji onani “Mafunso Ochokera kwa Owerenga” mu Nsanja ya Olonda ya 15 Agosto 1999.