Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .
Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Mnzanga Azindipatsa Mpata?
“Mnzanga ankakhala ngati kuti ndinali wakewake. Sanali kundipatsa mpata.”—Hollie.
“LIRIPO bwenzi lipambana ndi mbale kuumirira,” umatero mwambi wanzeru. (Miyambo 18:24) Ndipo ngati muli ndi mnzanu woti muli ndi zikhulupiriro zofanana, nayenso ngosekaseka, kapena zokonda zanu nzofanana, mwachibadwa mumafuna mutamakhala limodzi. Mtsikana wina wotchedwa Caroline anati: “Ndimagwirizana kwambiri ndi anthu ena mumpingo wachikristu chifukwa chakuti timachitira zinthu pamodzi.” Monga mmodzi wa Mboni za Yehova, Caroline mwezi wina anakonza zothera maola 60 m’ntchito yolalikira. Anzake analinganiza zochita zawo kuti amchirikize m’ntchitoyi!
Koma pamene kuli kwakuti kuthera nthaŵi yochuluka muli limodzi nkopindulitsa, nthaŵi zina kungaoneke kukhala konkitsa. Hollie, wotchulidwa poyambirirayo, amaona kuti mnzake wina sampatsa mpata. Ndipo siyekhayo amene amamva choncho. Hollie anati: “Zikuoneka kuti achinyamata enanso zimawachitikira. Satayana mpaka atakangana. Kenako salankhulananso kwa milungu ingapo.”
Vuto nlakuti, si chapafupi kuuza mnzako kuti sakupatsa mpata ndi kuti umafuna nthaŵi yoti uchite zinthu pawekha. Ungaope kukhumudwitsa mnzakoyo. Ungaopenso kuti mwina simudzagwirizananso. Komabe, anthu okondana atamapatsanako mpata angapindule mmalo mopwetekana.
Kuchitira chitsanzo: Pamalo ena opumulirapo ku Sydney, Australia, chimtengo china anachimangira mpanda watcheni. Chifukwa cha chiyani? Chifukwa chakuti gulu la anthu lomwe linkafikapo mwapang’onopang’ono linali kutsendera dothi ndi kutsamwitsa mizu. Ngati mtengowo sukanatetezeredwa, ukadafa. Zingakhalenso choncho ndi anthu okondana. Kusatayana kungatsamwitse unansiwo. Mfumu Solomo analemba kuti: “Phazi lako liloŵe mnyumba ya mnzako kamodzikamodzi; kuti angatope nawe ndi kukuda.”—Miyambo 25:17.
Kufunika kwa Kukhalako Wekha ndi Kuchita Zinthu Pawekha
Nchifukwa ninji Solomo ananena zimenezi? Nchifukwa chakuti tonsefe timafuna titamakhalako tekha ndiponso kuchita zinthu patokha. Ngakhale Yesu Kristu ankamvanso choncho. Ngakhale kuti anali kugwirizana kwambiri ndi ophunzira ake, nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi anali kupita “pa yekha, kukapemphera.” (Mateyu 14:23; Marko 1:35) Munthu woopa Mulunguyo Isake, nayenso anali kupeza nthaŵi yokhala payekha. (Genesis 24:63) Inunso mumafuna nthaŵi kuti mulembe homuweki, kugwira ntchito za pakhomo, ndi kuti muchite phunziro laumwini la Baibulo. Ndipo ngati anzanu sakuganizirani pazimenezi, mungakwiye mosavuta.
Choncho musachite mantha kuuza mnzanu kuti mukufuna atakupatsani mpata. Popeza kuti chikondi chachikristu “sichitsata za mwini yekha,” bwenzi lenileni lidzayesa kumvetsetsa. (1 Akorinto 13:4, 5; Miyambo 17:17) Mtsikana wina analemba kuti: “Panthaŵi yomwe ndinkayembekezera kulemba mayeso anga omaliza, anzanga anali kundichirikiza kwambiri ndipo anali kumvetsetsa. Pamene ndinali kufuna kuŵerenga, sizinkandivuta kuwauza kuti azipita. Nkosavuta kukhala oona mtima ndi anzanga; amadziŵa kuti tonse timakhala nzochita zina.”
Indedi, Lamulo la Chikhalidwe limafuna kuti inunso muziganizira anzanu mofananamo. (Mateyu 7:12) Mtsikana wina wotchedwa Tamara analemba kuti: “Kukhala kwanga ndi ntchito zambiri kwandipangitsa kuzindikira bwino kuti mnzanga amafunanso nthaŵi yochita zinthu payekha.” Ndipo pamene Tamara ali ndi ntchito panyumba, anzake samuuza kuti agwire mofulumira kapena kuti aisiye akagwire nthaŵi ina. Mmalo mwake, Tamara anati, “kaŵirikaŵiri amandithandiza ntchitoyo kuti titatha tikhoze kuchita zinthu zina pamodzi.” Mabwenzi osadzikonda oterowo ndi abwino chotani nanga—ndiponso nkugwiritsa ntchito nthaŵi moyenerera chotani nanga muli nonse pamodzi!
‘Futukukani m’Mayanjano’
Palinso chifukwa china chimene kulili kofunika kuti anthu okondana azipatsanako mpata. Pamene tiika nthaŵi ndi malingaliro athu onse pamunthu mmodzi, tinganyalanyaze maunansi ena ofunika—monga ngati unansi wathu ndi makolo ndi achibale athu ndiponso Akristu ena. Timachepetsanso kwambiri kukula kwathu kwa m’maganizo ndi kwauzimu. Baibulo limati: “Chitsulo chinola chitsulo; chomwecho munthu anola nkhope ya mnzake.” (Miyambo 27:17) Nzachidziŵikire kuti ‘munganoledwe’ pang’ono pokha ngati mungoyanjana ndi munthu mmodzimodzi—makamaka ngati iye ndi wamsinkhu wanu.
Motero Baibulo sililimbikitsa kukhala omangika ku anthu amodzimodzi, kucheza ndi anthu amodzimodzi, kapena kumachita kusankha anthu oti uzigwirizana nawo. Limatilimbikitsa ‘kufutukuka m’mayanjano’. (2 Akorinto 6:13, NW) Buku lakuti Moods and Feelings likulangiza kuti: “Ngakhale mutakhala ndi unansi wapadera, ndi bwino kupeza nthaŵi yokaona mabwenzi enanso.”
Kaŵirikaŵiri malangizo otero ngovuta kuwagwiritsira ntchito. Mnyamata wina wachikristu wotchedwa Michael anati: “Ine ndi Troy tinkachitira zinthu zonse pamodzi, mumpingo ndi m’zochita zina. Sitinkatayana. Kenaka mnyamata wina, Mboninso, anabwera mumpingo wathu. Ine ndi iyeyo tinkafuna kutumikira limodzi ngati alaliki a nthaŵi zonse, choncho tinayamba kuyendera pamodzi.” Kodi chinatsatirapo nchiyani? “Troy anasiya kundilankhula,” anatero Michael, “ndipo nditalephera poyesayesa kuti tigwirizanenso, ndinaleka kumlankhula. Tinakhala choncho kwa chaka chathunthu.” Analongosola kuti kukondana kwawoko “ankachita nako nsanje.”
Komabe, paunansi wabwino mabwenzi sachitirana ngati kuti winayo ndi chuma chako. Choncho ngati mnzanu sagwirizana nkuti inu mukuyesayesa kuyanjana ndi ena, kambiranani nkhaniyo mosapita m’mbali. Mwinamwake mnzanuyo angofunika kuti mumtsimikizire kuti ndinu okondanabe. Mtsimikizireni kuti mudzapitirizabe kuchitira zinthu pamodzi.
Zoona, kungatengedi nthaŵi kuti mnzanuyo asinthe malingaliro ake. Mwachitsanzo, Zaneta, wazaka 16, ankachita nsanje pamene mnzake anayamba kucheza ndi anthu ena. Koma Zaneta anati anagonjetsa malingalirowo, “pemphero ndi phunziro laumwini la Baibulo zinandithandizadi.” Motero anatha kukhalabe ndi unansi wabwino ndi mnzakeyo. Mnzake wa Michael, Troy, nayenso anali wokhoza kuthetsa nsanje yake yapoyamba, ndipo anayambanso kugwirizana. Mwina mwake mnzanu adzateronso. Ndithudi, kupeza mabwenzi ena pamapeto ake kumapindulitsa nonsenu. Debbie, wazaka 17, amaona kuti anzake atapanga mabwenzi atsopano, “kaŵirikaŵiri amakhalanso anzake.”
Koma bwanji ngati mnzanu sakugwirizana ndi kusintha kumeneku mu unansi wanu? Mwinamwake simungachitire mwina koma kungolekana. Komabe, musanagamule kuti mwasiya kukondana, bwanji osapempha malingaliro a makolo anu pankhaniyo? Ndi iko komwe, makolo oopa Mulungu ndiwo anzanu a pamtima zedi. Angakhale ndi malingaliro omwe mungagwiritse ntchito kutetezera ubwenzi wanu popanda kunyalanyaza kufunika kwanu kokhala ndi nthaŵi yochita zinthu zina panokha.
Chezani ndi Mabwenzi Oyenerera
Chenjezo: Kufutukuka sikutanthauza kuti mungasankhe wina aliyense kuti akhale mnzanu. Buku lina lonena za maubwenzi linati: “Nkwachibadwa kutengera zochita za anthu amene umakhalitsa nawo. Nthaŵi zina izi zingachitike iwe usakudziŵa. Ungayambe kuganiza ndi kuchita zinthu mmene anzako amachitira mosasamala kanthu mmene iwe umamvera. Motere, anthu ausinkhu wako angakhale akukulamulira.” Baibulo linanenanso zofananazo zaka zikwi zingapo zapitazo pamene linati: “Ukayenda ndi anzeru udzakhala wanzeru: koma mnzawo wa opusa adzapwetekedwa.”—Miyambo 13:20.
Pamene muli pasukulu kapena pantchito, mungamacheze ndi anthu amene safuna kutumikira Yehova. Koma posankha anzanu oyenda nawo, kumbukirani uphungu wa Baibulo uwu: “Mabwenzi oipa amawononga munthu wabwino.”—1 Akorinto 15:33, Today’s English Version.
Kumbukiraninso kuti ubwenzi ndi Mlengi wathu, Yehova Mulungu, ndiwo wofunika kwambiri kuposa ubwenzi ndi munthu wina aliyense. Debbie, wogwidwa mawu poyambayo, ali ndi anzake abwino angapo. Komatu akulangiza kuti “onetsetsani kuti Yehova nthaŵi zonse ndiye woyamba.” Kalelo Abrahamu wokhulupirikayo anatero, ndipo Yehova mwapadera anamtcha kuti “bwenzi langa.” (Yesaya 41:8) Ganiziraninso ichi: Yehova sanyinyirika inu mukamacheza ndi anzanu amenenso amamkonda; ndipotu amakulimbikitsani kutero. Iye alidi Bwenzi lenileni.
[Chithunzi patsamba 17]
Mabwenzi enieni amazindikira kufunika kwakuti aliyense azikhala ndi mpata wochita zinthu payekha