Obaba Bangenzani Ukuze Bazwanane Lamadodana Abo?

“BABA, ukwazela ngaphi konke lokhu?” Sowake wabuzwa ngumntanakho umbuzo onjalo yini? Kungenzeka ukuthi lawe wathaba. Kodwa okuyabe kungakujabulisa kakhulu yikubona indodana yakho ikulalela futhi isenza konke oyifundisa khona.a—IZaga 23:15, 24.

Indlela indodana yakho eyayikuthanda ngayo isesencane isitshintshile yini? Kuyini okungenza lihlale lingabangane lalapho isikhulakhulile? Asiqaleni sixoxe ngezinto ezijayele ukuba ngumqanso kubobaba abanengi.

Okwenza Kube Nzima

1. UKUSWELA ISIKHATHI: Emazweni amanengi obaba yibo okumele basebenze nzima ukuze bondle izimuli zabo. Eminye imisebenzi yenza ukuthi obaba bababone gqo abantwababo. Ngokwesibonelo kwamanye amazwe obaba baxoxa labantwababo imizuzu engaphansi kwengu-15 nje kuphela ngelanga.

ONGACABANGA NGAKHO: Uyasithola yini isikhathi sokuxoxa lendodana yakho? Mhlawumbe okweviki le lelandelayo ungazama ukubhala phansi ukuthi uxoxe lomntanakho okwesikhathi esingakanani. Ozakubona kungakumangalisa sibili.

2. INDLELA OKHULISWE NGAYO: Amanye amadoda kawazange ake asithole isikhathi sokuxoxa laboyise esakhula. UJean-Marie ohlala eFrance uthi: “Ngesikhathi ngisasemncane ngaba lesikhathi esincane kakhulu sokuthi ngixoxe lobaba njalo ngimjayele. Lokhu kwenze kwaba nzima kakhulu ngesikhathi sengikhulisa indodana yami ngoba ngiyehluleka nje ukuxoxa layo.” Abanye kungenzeka sibili ukuthi isikhathi sokuxoxa laboyise basithola kodwa lanxa kunjalo kwehlula ukuthi babe ngabangane. UPhilippe oleminyaka engu-43 uthi: “Kwakunzima ukuthi ubaba angitshele ukuthi uyangithanda. Lokho kwenze kwaba nzima lakimi ukuthi ngenelise ukutshela indodana yami ukuthi ngiyithanda kangakanani.”

ONGACABANGA NGAKHO: Ucabanga ukuthi indlela owakhuliswa ngayo yiyo eyenza uphathe indodana yakho ngendlela oyiphatha ngayo yini? Uyake uzithole usulingisela indlela uyihlo ayesenza ngayo?

3. UMPHAKATHI OKHULELE KUWO: Kwezinye izindawo obaba vele kabasondeli ekukhuliseni abantwana. ULuca owakhulela entshonalanga kweYurophu uthi: “Lapho engakhulela khona abantu bazitshela ukuthi ukukhulisa abantwana ngumsebenzi kamama.” Kwezinye izindawo umsebenzi wabobaba ngowokukhuza lokutshaya abantwana kuphela, kodwa okunengi okwenzakala empilweni yomntwana abakungeni. UGeorge owakhulela kwelinye ilizwe elise-Africa uthi: “Kithi vele awusoze uthole umntwana edlala lobaba ngoba kungenza amdelele. Lokhu kwenza kube nzima ukuthi lami ngidlale lomntanami.”

ONGACABANGA NGAKHO: Lapho ohlala khona, kuyini okukhangelelwe ukuthi obaba bakwenze? Amadoda afundiswa ukuthi ukukhulisa abantwana ngumsebenzi wabesifazana yini? Obaba bayawatshela yini amadodana abo ukuthi bayawathanda kumbe bakubona kuyinto engeke yamukeleke emphakathini?

Kuyini okungakunceda nxa kuyikuthi lawe uyake uhlangane lobunzima lobu? Cabanga ngamacebo alandelayo.

Sigoqwa Sisesemanzi

Kungokwemvelo ukuthi umntwana ongumfana azalwe elesifiso sokulingisela uyise. Lawe zama ukuthi esasemncane khonaphana uhle umfundise. Ungakwenza njani lokho njalo yisiphi isikhathi esingcono ongakwenza ngaso?

Zama ukuthi kuloba yiwuphi umsebenzi wangekhaya owenzayo umsondeze eduze nxa kuvuma. Ake sithi uyacenta, laye mnike okulikhuba okumlingeneyo acente eceleni khonapho. Ungenza njalo uzambona ethokoza kakhulu ngoba uyabe esebenza lomuntu afisa ukuba nguye angakhula. Ungakhathazeki ngokuthi lizaphuza ukuqeda elikwenzayo kodwa kumele ucabange ngokuthi kunengi kangakanani azabe esekufundile kuwe. UJehova watshela ama-Israyeli ukuthi asebenze labantwabawo emisebenzini etshiyeneyo. Lokho kwakuzawanceda ukuthi athole isikhathi sokuxoxa labo lesokubafundisa. (UDutheronomi 6:6-9) Ukwenza njalo kungabanceda sibili obaba lalamuhla.

Okunye futhi elingakwenza yikudlala lonke. Phela uyakhululeka futhi afunde okunengi nxa lidlala lonke. Abachwayisisayo bathi izikhathi ezinengi abafana abakhule bedlala laboyise baba lesibindi njalo bayazimisela ukwenza izinto ezitshiyeneyo.

Omunye ochwayisisayo okuthiwa nguMichel Fize uthi: “Kuqakathekile ukuthi abantwana badlale laboyise ngoba yiso isikhathi lapho abangaxoxa khona.” Ngalesosikhathi lobaba uyathola ithuba lokutshengisa indodana yakhe ukuthi uyayithanda, lokho angakuveza ngamazwi langokunye ayabe ekwenza. Umfana laye uyabe ezafunda ukutshengisa abanye ukuthi uyabathanda. Omunye ubaba ohlala eGermany okuthiwa ngu-André uthi: “Ngesikhathi umfana wami esasemncane ngangidlala laye futhi ngimgona, laye wahle wafunda khonapho ukutshengisa ukuthi uyangithanda.”

Esinye isikhathi esingcono lapho elingaxoxa khona kuntambama nxa selilala. Ungazama lokudinga ongamxoxela khona njalo umlalele lapho esekulandisela ukuthi kuyini okwenzakele mhlalokho. Nxa ungenza njalo kuzaba lula ukuthi lanxa esekhulile angesabi ukuxoxa lawe.

Qhubekani Lisenza Izinto Ndawonye

Kwesinye isikhathi obaba bangathwala nzima ukuqhubeka bexoxa lamadodana abo ikakhulu nxa esekhulakhulile ngoba kuba lesikhathi lapho aphonguzwa kungatsho ukuthi akhulume. Nxa kuyikuthi lomntanakho uyake enze njalo, ungakhalali kumbe uhle uzitshele ukuthi vele kafuni kuxoxa lawe. Kodwa zama ukuzwisisa ukuthi ufuna ukhulume laye njani.

Omunye ubaba okuthiwa nguJacques ohlala eFrance uthi kwezinye izikhathi kunzima ukukhuluma lendodana yakhe uJérôme. Yikho-ke wabona kungcono ukuthi angambambi ngamandla ukuthi akhulume. Waqalisa ukudlala laye ibhora ngoba wananzelela ukuthi yilo ayelithanda. Uthi: “Sasisithi nxa sesiphumula umntanami aqalise ukuxoxa. Khona nje ukuthi sasithola isikhathi sokuthi sike sibe ndawonye kwenza saba ngabangane sibili.”

Uzakwenzani nxa kuyikuthi indodana yakho kayikuthandi ukudlala imidlalo? Omunye ubaba okuthiwa ngu-André yena wayebuka izinkanyezi lendodana yakhe. Uthi: “Sasigqoka impahla ezikhudumalayo, senze letiye besesiphuma siyehlala phandle siqalise ukubuka izinkanyezi. Sasixoxa ngoNkulunkulu onguye owadala izinkanyezi, sixoxe ngalokhu lalokhuya, ngingathi vele akulalutho esingaxoxanga ngalo.”—U-Isaya 40:25, 26.

Uzakwenzani nxa kuyikuthi wena awuzithandi izinto ezithandwa yindodana yakho? Kuyabe sokumele ukhumbule ukuthi akumelanga uqakathekise okufunwa nguwe. (KwabaseFiliphi 2:4) Omunye ubaba okuthiwa ngu-Ian ohlala eSouth Africa uthi: “Mina ngangiyithanda kakhulu imidlalo kodwa umntanami uVaughan yena wayezithandela izindizamtshina lamakhompiyutha. Ngabona kungcono ukuthi ngiqalise ukuzijayela izinto lezi. Ngangihamba laye ukuyabona izindizamtshina futhi sidlale sonke amavidiyo emidlalo kukhompiyutha. Ngibona angathi lokho kwenza laye wakhululeka kakhulu ukuxoxa lami.”

Menze Azizwe Engumuntukuzwa

“Baba khangela, khangela ukuthi sengenzeni!” Sowake wezwa umntanakho ekumemeza ukuthi uzobona into enhle aseyenzile? Nxa kuyikuthi usekhulakhulile, usakutshengisa yini lokho ayabe ephumelele ukukwenza? Engxenye kasakwenzi kodwa kuzamele akwazi ukuthi uyakuqakathekisa akwenzayo ngoba kuzamnceda kakhulu nxa esengumuntu omdala.

Uyakhumbula yini ukuthi uJehova wayeyiphatha njani iNdodana yakhe, uJesu? Ngesikhathi uJesu esezaqalisa inkonzo yakhe lapha emhlabeni uJehova wakhuluma phambi kwabantu wathi: “Le yiNdodana yami engiyithandayo futhi engiyamukelayo.” (UMathewu 3:17; 5:48) Lani bobaba lanxa lilomlandu wokulaya lokufundisa abantwabenu, kumele lizinike isikhathi sokubancoma lokubatshela ukuthi liyabathanda.—Kwabase-Efesu 6:4.

Kwamanye amadoda vele kunzima ukuncoma lokutshela umntwana ukuthi ayamthanda. Mhlawumbe kungabe kubangelwa yikuthi ngesikhathi ekhula ayehlala esolwa kuphela angathi akula leyodwa into enhle ayake ayenze. Nxa kuyikuthi lawe wakhula njalo, kuzamele uzame ngamandla wonke sibili ukutshintsha ukuze wenelise ukuncoma indodana yakho lokuyitshela ukuthi uyayithanda. Ungakwenza njani lokhu? ULuca esike sakhuluma ngaye uthi: “Ngijayele ukutshela umntanami ukuthi kaqalise ukwenza ulutho, uzangibiza nxa sokumsinda phambili. Okunengi kwakhona uyakwenza nje kuhle aze ayeqeda futhi lokhu kwenza athokoze. Ngiyamncoma nxa angaphumelela, ngimncedise nxa engehluleka besengimtshela ukuthi ngiyazigqaja ngendlela enza ngayo. Lokho angithandabuzi ukuthi kumnika intshukuntshu.”

Okunye futhi ongakwenza yikumncedisa aphumelele ukwenza lokho ayabe ekuhlelile. Kodwa uyabe uzakwenzani nxa kuyikuthi yena uyaphuza kumbe nxa kuyikuthi lokho yena akukhethileyo ayisikho obufisa ukuthi ngabe uyakwenza? Mhlawumbe sokungadingeka ukuthi umbekezelele njalo utshintshe lokho okukhangeleleyo. UJacques esike saxoxa ngaye uthi: “Ngiyazama ukumncedisa ukuthi enze lokho okumlingeneyo. Kodwa angimbambi ngamandla ukuthi enze lokho okufunwa yimi. Ngihlala ngimkhuthaza ukuthi angazikhami, enze akwenelisayo.” Ukulalela umntanakho, umncome futhi umkhuthaze kuzamnceda ukuthi alungise lapho ayabe esehluleka khona futhi aphumelele ukwenza ayabe ekuhlelile.

Lanxa ekuqaliseni kuyabe kungumqanso, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzamangala wena lomntanakho selingamathe lolimi. Phela vele akulamuntu ongafuni ukunamathela emuntwini omncedayo.

[Amabala angaphansi]