How You Can Forgive Like Jehovah?

1-2. (a) What time it can really be hard to forgive somebody? (b) How Denise show that she forgave the man?

IT CAN be hard for you to forgive other people? Plenty of us can feel like that, especially when somebody do or say something that hurt us bad way. But we able to overcome our bad feelings and forgive the person. For example, let talk about one sister name Denise,a who show real forgiveness. In 2017, Denise and her family went to visit the World Headquarters of Jehovah Witnesses when they just open it. When they wor going back home another driver lost control and hit their car. Denise fainted. When she came to herself, they tell her that her children hurt bad way and her husband, Brian die. When Denise think about what happen, she say, “It really break my heart and I wor confuse.” Later on, they tell her that the driver wor not drunk and his attention wor not on different thing while driving. So she pray to Jehovah for her heart to lay down.

² They arrest the driver for killing Denise husband by mistake. If the court decide that he guilty, he will go to jail. But the court tell Denise that, whether the man will go to jail or not, it depend on what she will say in the court. Denise say: “I wor feeling just like somebody open my old sore and put plenty salt inside, because I wor coming to explain again the bad thing that happen.” After some weeks, Denise wor in court ready to talk to this man who made her family to go through all this pain. Wetin she say? Denise tell the judge to show mercy to the man.b As soon she finish talking, the judge start crying. He say: “I been judge for 25 years now, and I never hear anything like this in my court. I never see this one before; for the family who bad thing happen to, to beg for the person who cause the problem. I never see this kindna love and forgiveness before.”

3. Wetin make Denise to forgive?

³ Wetin make Denise to forgive? She think about the way Jehovah can forgive. (Mic. 7:18) When we grateful for the way Jehovah na forgive us, it will make us to forgive other people too.

4. Wetin Jehovah want us to do? (Ephesians 4:32)

⁴ Jehovah want us to forgive other people the same way he na forgive us. (Read Ephesians 4:32.) He want us to be ready to forgive people who make us to feel bad. (Ps. 86:5; Luke 17:4) In this article, we will talk about three things that will help us to always be ready to forgive.

DON’T PRETEND LIKE YOU NOT FEELING BAD

5. According to Proverbs 12:​18, how we can feel when somebody make us feel bad?

⁵ It can really hurt us when somebody say or do something that make us feel bad, especially if the person that our close friend or family member. (Ps. 55:​12-14) Sometime, the pain we can feel can be like when somebody juke us with knife. (Read Proverbs 12:18.) Maybe we will try to pretend like we not feeling bad. But when we do it, it can be just like when somebody juke us and we leave the knife in the sore. That the same way we must not expect our bad feelings to go away if we pretend that everything alright.

6. Sometime, wetin we can do when somebody make us vex?

⁶ When somebody make us feel bad, maybe the first thing we can do that to get vex. The Bible say it not wrong to get vex. But it also say we must not allow our vexation to control us. (Ps. 4:4; Eph. 4:26) Why? Because most of the time, the way we feel can make us to act certain way. And it can be hard for us to say or do good thing when we vex. (Jas. 1:20) Remember, it can’t be easy to control the way we will act when something just happen. But it leave with us to decide whether we will continue to be vex or not.

7. How we can also feel when somebody make us feel bad?

⁷ When somebody treat us bad, sometime it can make us to get different-different bad feelings. For example, one sister name Ann say: “When I wor small, my pa leave my ma and marry our house girl. I wor feeling that he not get time for me. When he and the woman start borning children, I feel that they na replace me. I grow up feeling that nobody care for me.” One sister name Georgette talk about how she wor feeling when her husband wor not faithful to her. She say, “two of us been friends from the time we wor small. He and myself wor pioneering together! It really break my heart.” In the end, the two of them divorce. One other sister name Naomi say: “I never think that my husband wor coming to do something that will really hurt me. He tell me that he been looking at naked man and naked woman picture or video, and he wor hiding it from me. It make me to feel that he betray me and he lie to me.”

8. (a) What some reasons why we must forgive other people? (b) What benefits we will get when we forgive? (See the box “Suppose the Thing the Person Do Continue to Hurt Us?”)

⁸ We can’t control what other people can say or do to us, but we can try to control the way we will act. And most of the time the best way to act that to forgive. Why? Because we love Jehovah, and he want us to forgive. If we continue to be vex and not forgive, maybe we will act foolish and suffer our self. (Prov. 14:​17, 29, 30) That what happen to one sister name Christine. She say: “When I allow my bad feelings to control me, I can’t smile plenty. It can make me to not eat good. I can’t even sleep good, and it can be hard for me to control my feelings. Like that it can affect my marriage and my friendship with other people.”

9. Why we must stop keeping grudge?

⁹ Even if the person who make us feel bad not tell us sorry, we can try to control the way we feeling. How? Georgette, who we talk about before say: “Even though it take some time, but I stop keeping grudge for my former husband. Because of that, I wor having peace of mind.” When we stop keeping grudge, it can help us to not always be vex. We will also be doing good for our self. It will help us to stop focusing on what the person do and we will start enjoying our life again. (Prov. 11:17) But wetin you must do if you still feel that you not ready to forgive?

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS?

10. Why we must give our self time to overcome our bad feelings? (Also see the pictures.)

¹⁰ How you can overcome bad feelings? One way that to allow some time to pass. When somebody who hurt get treatment, it will take time for the person to get better. That the same way it will take time for us to overcome our bad feelings before we be ready to forgive the person from our heart.—Eccl. 3:3; 1 Pet. 1:22.

11. How prayer can help you to forgive?

¹¹ Pray to Jehovah and ask him to help you to forgive.c Ann, who we talk about before explain how prayer help her. She say: “I ask Jehovah to forgive each of us in the family for the wrong things we say or do. Then I write letter to my pa and my step ma and tell them that I na forgive them.” Ann say it wor not easy to do this one. But she say, “I hope that the way I trying to follow Jehovah example to forgive, will encourage my pa and my step ma to learn more about Jehovah.”

12. Why we must trust Jehovah instead of our own feelings? (Proverbs 3:​5, 6)

¹² Don’t trust your own feelings, trust Jehovah. (Read Proverbs 3:​5, 6.) Jehovah always know what good for us. (Isa. 55:​8, 9) And he will never tell us to do something that will harm us. So when he encourage us to forgive, we can be sure that it will benefit us when we do it. (Ps. 40:4; Isa. 48:​17, 18) But if we trust our own feelings, it will be hard for us to forgive. (Prov. 14:12; Jer. 17:9) Naomi, who we talk about before say: “From the beginning, I wor feeling that I right to not forgive my husband for looking at naked man and woman picture or video. I wor scare that he will make me feel bad again or he will forget about the problem he cause. I wor thinking that Jehovah understand the way I wor feeling. But I get to know that just because Jehovah understand my feelings, it not mean that he agree with it. He know how I feeling and he also know that it will take time for me to overcome my bad feeling. But at the same time, he want me to forgive.”d

LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN OTHER PEOPLE

13. According to Romans 12:​18-21, wetin we need to do?

¹³ When we forgive somebody who really make us feel bad, we must not just say we not want talk about the thing that happen. We must try hard to make peace, especially if the person that our Christian brother or sister. (Matt. 5:​23, 24) Instead of continuing to be vex, we want show the person mercy and forgive them. (Read Romans 12:​18-21; 1 Pet. 3:9) Wetin can help us to do this one?

14. Wetin we must try hard to do, and why?

¹⁴ We must try to see the person who make us feel bad the same way Jehovah see them. Jehovah can look for the good in people. (2 Chron. 16:9; Ps. 130:3) We will always find what we looking for in people whether good or bad. When we look for the good in other people, it will be easy to forgive them. For example, one brother name Jarrod say, “It can be easy for me to forgive my brother when I compare the thing he do to me with the plenty good-good things I like about him.”

15. Why it good to tell somebody that you na forgive them?

¹⁵ Another important thing to think about doing, that to tell the person that you na forgive them. Why? Naomi, who we talk about before say: “My husband ask me, ‘You na forgive me?’ When I wanted to tell him say I forgive you, I wor not able to do it. It make me to know that I not really forgive him from my heart. But after some time, I wor able to say this three powerful words, ‘I forgive you.’ When I say it, my husband started crying and myself I wor feeling good too. Since that time, I trust him and we best friends again.”

16. Wetin you na learn about forgiveness?

¹⁶ Jehovah want us to forgive. (Col. 3:13) But sometime it can be hard to forgive other people. We can forgive if we not pretend that everything alright, and try hard to not continue to be vex. Then we will be able to see the good in other people.—See the box “Three Things That Can Help Us to Forgive.”

FOCUS ON THE BENEFITS YOU WILL GET IF YOU FORGIVE

17. Why we must forgive other people?

¹⁷ We get plenty reasons to forgive. Let talk about some of them. (1) We follow our merciful Father Jehovah example and make him happy. (Luke 6:36) (2) We show that we grateful for the way Jehovah na forgive us. (Matt. 6:12) (3) We will be alright in the body and our friendship with other people will be thick.

18-19. Sometime, what can happen when we forgive?

¹⁸ When we forgive other people, sometime we can get blessings that we not even expecting. For example, see what happen to Denise who we talk about before. She not even know that the man who cause the accident wor planning to kill his self after the court case. But when Denise forgave him, it really touch his heart and he started studying the Bible with Jehovah Witnesses.

¹⁹ Maybe we will feel that to forgive somebody that one of the hard thing to do. But maybe that one of the thing we will really benefit from. (Matt. 5:7) So let all of us try our best to follow Jehovah example to forgive.