Cultivate Meaningful Friendships With Your Brothers and Sisters

1-2. What challenge do many face regarding friendships?

ALL of us need good friends​—people who will love and support us in good times and in bad times. And don’t you feel a sense of fulfillment when you prove to be a true friend to others? (Acts 20:35) To remain spiritually and emotionally healthy, we need to make friends with those who are friends with Jehovah God and with Jesus Christ. (Ps. 119:63) Sadly, though, we live in a world where many people struggle to make or to maintain meaningful friendships. Some of us may have the same struggle.

² How can we cultivate meaningful friendships within the congregation? For one thing, we can apply some of the principles we learned in the preceding article about friendship with Jehovah God and with Jesus Christ. In this article, we will discuss five keys to making and keeping friends. First, though, let us consider barriers that can prevent us from cultivating strong friendships and how we can overcome them.

BARRIERS TO FRIENDSHIP

3. What attitude can prevent us from forming strong friendships, and how can we overcome it?

³ Being self-absorbed. Many people today have a me-first attitude. (2 Tim. 3:1, 2) But that attitude is not an appealing quality in a friend. To make good friends, we must reject any tendency to be self-absorbed. Instead, we should learn to be sincerely interested in the welfare of our brothers and sisters. The apostle Paul was inspired to encourage us to “look out not only for [our] own interests, but also for the interests of others.”​—Phil. 2:3, 4.

4. Why should we avoid isolating ourselves? (2 John 12) (See also pictures.)

⁴ Isolating ourselves. When we isolate ourselves, we can become anxious and discouraged. Over time, isolation can weaken us emotionally and spiritually. (Prov. 18:1) While it can be beneficial to have some time alone, we should avoid developing habits that can lead to isolation. For example, we could rely too much on social media. Why is that a concern? Because although we may connect with many people online, we might have few true friends. What is the solution? Make time for in-person association. (Read 2 John 12.) It will benefit you and others.​—Heb. 10:24, 25.

5. Why is it important to express our feelings to others?

⁵ Some isolate themselves emotionally. They keep their feelings all bottled up, hesitating to express their personal thoughts and emotions. The Bible does not suggest that you must reveal your every inner emotion. (Prov. 13:3; Eccl. 3:7) But Jehovah has created us with the need to express our feelings. Thus, if we are unwilling to share our feelings, we may struggle to make good friends. If you do choose to open up to a friend, you may find that he appreciates the trust you place in him. Your friendship may grow stronger. Jesus did not hesitate to share his emotions with his disciples. (Luke 19:41; John 11:35) This helped him to enjoy many close friendships.​—John 15:15.

6. How can we overcome shyness? (See also the box “Suggestions for Coping With Shyness.”)

⁶ Being shy. Some of us are shy or self-conscious around others. If you struggle with shyness, ask Jehovah to help you face that challenge and then work in harmony with your prayers. (Phil. 2:13) Focus on the reasons why you love your brothers and sisters. (John 15:12) At a congregation meeting, you might begin by making it a point to smile and say hello to someone whom you do not know very well. You could ask a simple question, such as, “How was your day?” Then be sure to listen carefully.

7. How might we feel at times, and what can we do about it?

⁷ Feeling emotionally exhausted. If we are in such a state, just keeping up with daily obligations can tire us out. We may feel that we have no time or energy to cultivate a friendship. Rest and solitude are important. (Eccl. 4:6) However, we do need friends, and it takes some time for friendships to form. So even if socializing is a challenge, it can also be a step toward developing friendships that will recharge you emotionally and spiritually. (Prov. 11:25) You may be surprised to find that those friends will refresh you.

8. (a) Why should we widen out in our choice of friends? (b) What do we learn from the apostle Paul’s words about his friend Timothy? (Philippians 2:19-22)

⁸ Thinking we have limited options. Some may feel that they have few options when it comes to making friends. Perhaps there is no one in the congregation who is close to your age or who has your interests. But just as a plant can become root-bound when placed in a very small pot, we can restrict our personal growth as Christians when we limit our friendships to those who share our age, background, or interests. The apostle Paul and his friend Timothy certainly came from different backgrounds, but they were close friends. Our life is enriched when we widen out in our choice of friends. (Read Philippians 2:19-22.) With Jehovah’s help, we can overcome barriers to friendship.

KEYS TO MAKING AND KEEPING FRIENDS

9. Why does friendship require effort?

⁹ It has often been said that to have a friend, we need to be a friend. That requires effort on our part. Let us discuss five keys that can help us to make and to keep good friends: (1) be loyal, (2) show gratitude, (3) express love, (4) be forgiving, and (5) be generous.

10. Why should we show loyal love to our friends, and how can we do so?

¹⁰ Be loyal. Jehovah is “abundant in loyal love.” (Ex. 34:6) He is willing to stick to his friends, even though they are imperfect. To please Jehovah, we need to be loyal to our friends. (Mic. 6:8, ftns.) This means sticking close to our friends through good times and bad times. (Prov. 18:24; Rom. 12:15) We speak well of our friends and defend their good reputation. (Ps. 15:3) When we are loyal to our friends, they are more likely to be loyal to us. One day, some of them may even risk “their own necks” for us!​—Rom. 16:3, 4.

11. (a) Why is gratitude important in friendships? (b) How did Jesus teach the importance of gratitude? (Luke 17:11-18) (See also pictures.)

¹¹ Show gratitude. Being grateful is essential to making and keeping friends. Why? Because few things stifle a friendship more than ingratitude. A grateful person recognizes and acknowledges the kindnesses of others. He does not take their loving acts for granted. He is quick to say thank you. (Read Luke 17:11-18; Col. 3:15) As a result, a bond of love is formed between the giver and the receiver. When we develop the habit of showing gratitude, we will form strong and lasting friendships.

12. How do Jehovah and Jesus set the example in expressing love? (John 11:3, 5, 33-36; 13:1)

¹² Express love. To build meaningful friendships, we must express love for our friends. (2 Cor. 6:12, 13 and study note on verse 13; 1 Pet. 4:8) Jehovah and Jesus set the perfect example. Although Jesus knew that his Father loved him, it must have delighted him to hear Jehovah call him “the beloved.” (Luke 3:22) Jehovah also expresses his love for us, and we, in turn, are drawn to him. (Jer. 31:3) Jesus expressed affection for his friends. He “loved them to the end.” (Read John 11:3, 5, 33-36; 13:1.) And they were moved to imitate him. For example, the apostle Peter expressed his affection for Jesus.​—John 21:15-17.

13. How can we express love to our friends?

¹³ We can imitate Jehovah God and Jesus Christ by expressing our love to our friends. (Rom. 12:10; 1 Pet. 1:22) We are not afraid to tell them that we love them. We commend them for their fine qualities. We are ready to help them. We even love them enough to offer them counsel when necessary. (Prov. 27:9) Yes, expressing love is a key to making and keeping friends.

14. How does being forgiving help preserve friendships?

¹⁴ Be forgiving. Unless we are willing to forgive, we will not be able to keep friends. Jehovah does not expect perfection from us, so we should not expect perfection from others. Even close friends will sometimes hurt our feelings. (Eccl. 7:21, 22) When that happens, will we imitate Jehovah by being willing to forgive? If we fail to “pursue the things making for peace,” we may lose a friendship that we worked hard to build. (Rom. 14:19) When we are unforgiving, we will likely end up angry, resentful, and lonely. On the other hand, when we freely forgive, we will be blessed with close friendships.​—Prov. 17:9.

15. How does being generous affect friendships?

¹⁵ Be generous. To enjoy meaningful friendships, be generous with your time, attention, and resources. (Prov. 11:25; Luke 6:38) Even small acts​—such as sharing a simple meal, offering a ride, or patiently listening—​can strengthen bonds of friendship. If you are willing to give of yourself in the ways we have just discussed, you will always have good friends.

KEEP WORKING AT BUILDING FRIENDSHIPS

16. Why are good friends so valuable?

¹⁶ We need good friends. They bring us joy, help us to stay strong in our service to Jehovah, and comfort us “at all times,” including “times of distress.”​—Prov. 17:17; 2 Cor. 7:5-7.

17. Why may we be confident that we can build friendships that will last forever? (See the box “They Formed Lasting Friendships.”)

¹⁷ Keep working to overcome the barriers to friendship. Remember the keys to making true friends. And be sure to treasure the friends you have already made. The ability to make and keep friends is a beautiful gift from Jehovah. The joy that results from friendships rooted in loyal love will last forever!